If It Wasn’t For Bad Luck

“Of all the disasters in all the world, I’m stuck in this one with you.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Ralph. You know if it wasn’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at all. So where do we go from here?”

“Well, Marty, to start with, you can stop with the quirky quotes; they don’t help. The way I see it, we have two choices: 1. we can continue our feud and try an escape from this collapsed building on our own, or, 2. We can temporarily put aside our grievances and work together to find a way out. You choose.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, Ralph, you started by paraphrasing Bogart, not me. Remember what happened the last time we tried working together. I lost my job because of that mess.”

“Big deal, Marty, you lost your job, but I lost my wife. By the way, how is Mary doing?”

“How should I know? You always blamed me for your breakup, but it was my former boss she was interested in. Hey, what was that?”

A loud rumble echoed throughout the remains of what was left of the collapsed building, followed by vibrations that caused more rubble to fall next to Ralph and Marty.

“I think we need to put this conversation on hold and concentrate on the problem at hand, getting the hell out of here. Do you agree, Ralph?”

“For once I am in full agreement. You’re the engineer, got any suggestions?”

“We’re in the underground parking garage, so the logical thing is to figure out how much rubble is blocking the exit. Then we need to find some tools to dig with. By the way, what brought you to this building?”

“The owner was told by the city inspectors that his building was unsafe and needed upgrades. I’m here to go over the loan for the project. What about you?”

“The owner called in my firm to assess what was needed to bring the place back up to code. After doing my inspection, I told him he should level the place and start over.”

“That’s basically what the bank told me to tell him as well. If he let it fall, he could at least collect the insurance money.”

“Wait, Ralph, do you suppose the bang we heard just before the walls came crashing down was the owner taking our advice and blowing the place up?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. He’s been known to have mob connections. And by blowing it with us inside, there would be no witnesses”

The men found some loose rebar to use and began carefully prying away large chunks of concrete and other rubble blocking their exit. The stunned expression on the firemen’s faces when soot covered Marty and Ralph came crawling out from under the rubble was priceless.

“We were told this building was unoccupied by the owner.”

“Somehow, we’re not surprised.” Replied, Ralph.

Marty added, “If you send a team in to look for explosive residue, you’ll find the reason for this collapse. I’m an engineer and just finished inspecting the building. It was in rough shape, but not in any danger of collapse. With his engineer and his banker buried under tons of rubble, there would be no witnesses to his claim that shawty construction was the culprit.”

Later that day, after written statements were made and interviews completed, the two men sat at the bar in a local pub discussing the day’s events over drinks.

“I have to say, Marty, this is something I never thought we would ever do and it only took a blown-up building for it to happen.”

“You’re right, Ralph. If it wasn’t for bad luck, we’d never have any good luck to celebrate.

“