I Swear I Saw the Whole Thing
A tale from the Cavalcade of Rejection
Fine, man, don't believe me - here I go out of my way and come to you with a story that could change the way you see the world forever and you just brush me off like some lunatic in the street. I listen to all your boring, pointless stories and don't complain, but here I see a miracle and you shrug it off. No, not a miracle, something better than a miracle because anyone can do this. I'm talking about turning the impossible into the possible, and you're going to be a little prick about it. Well, fine.
...So you're going to listen after all? All right, man, way to make the smart decision! Look, I'll keep this nice and short so you don't get a headache from the strain. All right, so you know Mitchell, right? That weird skinny guy who's always reading those really dense physics books about time and matter and the universe and whatever? Well, he got to talking about quantum mechanics and-
...No, I don't get it either. Mitchell says that nobody really does, except in broad strokes, but the short version is that matter gets really weird when it gets really small. We like to think that everything has a nice neat little cause and we can predict it all, but molecules don't act that way. With molecules, it's all about odds. Genuine chaos, that's how he put it - they don't follow any rules, not even their own.
Now, Mitchell got to talking about this thing molecules do where they don't really occupy a certain place, they just have a chance to be anywhere in a given area. Pretty trippy, but that's not the really crazy part. He says that a molecule can sometimes move right through another molecule and end up on the other side. You know what that means? It means that in theory, you could lay your hands on a wall and all the molecules in you - all the little specks that make up your brain and heart and skin and whatever - can end up on the other side of the wall.
...No, I'm not talking about punching through the wall. Take this a little serious, huh? Anyway, Mitchell says we'll never see this because the odds are so long, but those odds aren't zero, so it's possible. That's when he shows us what he can do. He says that the odds don't mean much because the universe is so unbelievably big and time is so unthinkably long that everything that can happen has to happen. How'd he put it again..."If the odds aren't 0, they eventually become 1." That's it. That's how we make order out of chaos, man. And then he tells us that he thinks he knows how to create that order, and turn the odds into a 1. You know how?
...Yes, he walks through the wall. Would I be telling this story if he didn't? He walked right through that wall, and I swear I saw the whole thing and it was not a trick. There were like six of us there, and two people took video - you wanna see it, or are you just gonna deny it again? That's the problem with you, you can't open your mind to possibilities.
Anyway, he explained the secret of walking through walls, and it's not that hard to understand. First, you have to know that what you're doing is a long shot, but not impossible. That's the other thing that makes this different from a miracle - a miracle is when you do something impossible, but what Mitchell can do is just really, really unlikely. Second, once you know the odds, you have to understand deep down that what you're about to do is possible. Third, everyone observing you has to know that too. That's the trick right there - everyone has to have some faith in you, not just people watching or listening but anyone who can even conceivably sense your presence. Finally, you just do it, and then it's done. You've just found a loophole in the laws of physics. Pretty neat, huh?
...Oh, so you're gonna be a thickhead and just groan? Real mature. Hey, I'm sitting here telling you how to make all your dreams come true, and that it's for real, that I saw the whole thing with my own eyes, and you're just going to roll your eyes. Well fine, don't believe me. Just go on thinking that the world is what you think it is.
Don't get up, I'll show myself out. But maybe you can give me just a few seconds to answer one itty bitty question. You'll give me that after I came all this way to speak with you, right? Yeah? Cool.
Okay, so you've been in your apartment all day, just sitting here, yeah? You keep the place locked up, right? Right. Now, did you ever give me a key to your door?
...No? All right. Now, quick follow-up question: Do you remember opening your door to let me in?
...No? That sure is strange, all right. You'd almost think that I had another way in. Course, that's impossible...or maybe just really, really unlikely.
Read more stories!
About the Creator
Andrew Johnston
Educator, writer and documentarian based out of central China. Catch the full story at www.findthefabulist.com.
Keep reading
More stories from Andrew Johnston and writers in Fiction and other communities.
There's One Just Like it Everywhere
"Tell me a story, stranger." The guy on the opposite stool was a typical weekday drunk, full of good humor at the pain of others and caustic remarks at nothing at all. That he was polite to me was an oddity; perhaps he sensed that I was different, that I was less tethered to this place and its vices than those of his usual company.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
Six Feet Under
Buried alive. What a horrible way to go. Yazz lay there, in her own thoughts. What else could she do? She was hungry, thirsty, tired, mentally, and physically exhausted, and more than anything, she was bored. She hoped she would die of boredom before anything else, anything else would've been more painful. Like many people had, she and her friends had talked about what they reckon the worst ways to die were, it was a morbid subject, but it came up every now and again. Yazz had always been one to argue her point on drowning, others had mentioned burning alive, slowly and painfully bleeding to death, hung drawn and quartered, and being starved to death. It was strange that none of them had considered being buried alive, it had never come up. But now, she was thinking back to those conversations her and her friends had had, how could they have not thought about it? It took a lot longer than the others, you were completely confined, you couldn't move or do anything, you just had to wait, until your body was physically unable to support a life system anymore, which could take up to four days. Four! By far the longest out of all of them. She recounted some of these conversations just to try and pass the time, anything to pass the time. It was difficult to know how much time had passed since she had been underground, it was difficult to know anything. There were many things that Yazz didn't know, she didn't know where she was, she didn't know how she'd got into the coffin, she'd just woken up there. Yazz also didn't know what time it was, or even what day it was, she guessed at Tuesday, it was Sunday evening when she'd been buried alive, intentionally, and although it had felt like weeks had passed, she was still alive, which means she hadn't died from dehydration, and therefore it couldn't have been more than four days.
By Liam Storm8 days ago in Fiction
Book Review: "No Logo" by Naomi Klein
Naomi Klein is no doubt, a huge author and you're going to be quite surprised about the fact that I have actually barely read anything by her though I am aware of her existence. Her book No Logo is recommended reading in the book The Inner Level by Professors Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett and is about the way brands have aggressively waded themselves into every aspect of our existence.
By Annie Kapur6 days ago in Geeks
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.