I put up with it all my life

In 1985, I stepped down as abbot of Foguang Mountain and handed over the temple's affairs to Xinping. On the day of the Dharma ceremony, the reporters saw mountains and valleys full of people to me all kinds of respect, even prostrate welcome, curious to ask me why this? I suddenly think of the national film "I have lived a life like this" this sentence, the heart can not help but feel a lot, recall everyone's affirmation of me, is their own pay how much hard work, patience in exchange for the results ah! If the title of this film is changed to a word, "I endure this life", used to describe themselves, should be a very appropriate portrayal.

I grew up in a turbulent world, divided by warlords and surrounded by powerful external forces. After the Sino-Japanese War of Resistance, and then the opposition between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party, the economy of my hometown was already very backward, plus these man-made disasters, the livelihood is difficult. At that time, when food was extremely short, I ate wheat residue paste porridge, I to sweet potato as a meal, three meals a day, eat scared up. After leaving home at the age of 12, the temple still used gruel instead of dry rice, and often could not get a piece of tofu or some vegetable dishes a month. This is certainly not enough for me when I was growing up, but thinking of the hardships of The Times and the hardships of living in the heart, I forget the pain of hunger, so that I can develop the habit of tolerance.

In 1949, when I first came to Taiwan, I was wandering around with no one to take me in. However, forbearance is a kind of strength, I began to struggle with life, and the fate of the challenge. I later to yilan, gradually settled down, can't go on well in life until you were buddhist is not developed, in order to get more people to learn Buddhism, I at will, 嚫 whit the payment of money to buy books of Buddhism, sent to the temple of youth; I often went on foot for more than one or two hours to teach sutras, save money for meals and bus fares, and buy the equipment needed for teaching. It was then that slide projectors, tape recorders and loudspeakers were purchased for the first Buddhist missionary work.

With the gradual expansion of the Honghua area and the increasing number of Dharma believers, I found that the problems of life are endless, and I felt more and more sad and ambitious desire to realize the Buddha's teaching and benefit happiness. Therefore, I more motivated myself to spread Dharma and benefit life as my own ambition. Therefore, whenever anyone came to ask for Dharma, I would gladly accept it no matter how far the journey was. Whenever a believer asks, no matter how difficult or easy it is, I try to relieve his worries.

In terms of communication, I rode a bicycle, a bullock cart, a light cart used in coal mines, a tricycle, a hand-pulled cart, and of course a train, a gasoline cart, and even a horse, a sedan, an airplane, and a boat.

In the decades since, I have often been delayed by my busy schedule, from morning to evening, in attending believers. Sometimes, for convenience, I simply soaked hot rice in ice, or soaked cold rice in hot tea to satisfy my hunger; Sometimes I just want to use chopsticks to eat, but temporarily received the invitation, I had to pick up the bowl, tube it is filled with soup, or hot noodles, contentedly, together into the mouth, also ignore the scalding tongue, let alone whether to fill the stomach! So even though I had a little bit of spare time over the years, I still didn't have enough to eat, and in this way, I could say I lived through my life.

Early because there is no food to eat, as long as there is food, all feel delicious. In recent years, eat a lot of things, I cherish this blessing, so whether it is soup noodles, noodles, rice, porridge, rice noodles, winter powder, dumplings, steamed stuffed bun, although not necessarily feel good, I will not refuse to come. If you put it aside occasionally, it is because you are busy with appointments or have used it at that time, but it does not necessarily mean that you do not like it. Sometimes when I see the disciples have prepared a dish for me with great effort, I will praise a dish as delicious even if it is not very delicious. Sometimes I would eat the same dish every day for a month and a half. When I asked them why, they always said it was as I liked it, which made me laugh and laugh. However, I would not say that I did not like it.

The most baffling thing to me is the myth that I like vegetarian mullet roe. In the past, there was a time when there was a plate of vegetarian fish roe placed in front of me at every meal. In fact, I never touched a chopsticks or ate a bite because of its too heavy taste. All the vegetarian fish roe served on the table were carried away by others, but they did not notice it, mistransmitted it, and even some people mistakenly thought it was true and specially bought it for me. For everyone of this "wrong love", I also have to endure.

This kind of thing is not unique! Many years ago, for example, the faithful sent me a bar of beautiful soap. At that time, when materials were scarce and foreign products were rare, everyone admired it. But I still used ordinary soap, so I kept it on the sink, unused. It was strange that the volume of that bar of soap was decreasing gradually. Later, everyone said that I like to use imported beautiful soap. I just suppressed a smile and kept silent, thinking that it would be very interesting to let everyone's preferences become my preferences.

Once, when I was teaching sutras in another place, the weather suddenly turned cold. One of my disciples bought me a sweater. I said, "Thick clothes are nice!" In order to praise his thoughtfulness, I did not expect that people would later say that I liked to wear thick clothes. From then on, although the weather turned hot, the waiter still prepared thick sanitary clothes, thick Luo Han coat, and even customized thick long gown and robe for me. I could not bear to resist the kindness of others, so only myself had to endure the pain of sweating.

I often recall that in the past, in the jungle, the rules were so strict that we were not allowed to wear scarves and hats even in the cold weather. In those poor days, we wore almost all the relics of our ancestors who had died away. In the middle of winter, the north wind blew straight down through the wide collars, gowns and sleeves. It is difficult to survive the cold winter. So I ended up in Taiwan, spending two winters in the north with nothing but a jacket. At this time, witnessed some monks, just a little chill, equipped with a body to combat the cold, at a glance, seems to be less than a few road gas, lament over, can not help but thank the past teacher's strict education, cultivate my endurance. Today, I apply the strength of cold tolerance to the heat, and it seems that I have mastered it. But can my disciples feel my tolerance?

It is easy to endure cold and heat. It is even not difficult to endure hunger and thirst. It is not difficult to endure bitterness and anger and still manage to pass. But anyway, considering that I have already learned Buddhism, know the truth of mutual origin, and understand that "forbearance" is a lifelong practice, why can't I practice it according to the teaching?

I once had a grandchild who often bought a towel with a pattern embroidered on the lower end for me to use. I suggested that he buy a towel with no pattern because of the broken skin on his face, so as not to feel uncomfortable when washing his face. However, he said calmly and confidently, "The towel with a pattern is more beautiful, and if you use the other end to wipe your face, you will not encounter embroidery! Alas! Each other's mood is different, talking like casting pearls before swine, I also have only the present "to be taught", endure him forget it.

Sometimes, when the waiter prepared my meal, he either took away the spoon or served me a pair of chopsticks of varying lengths. I neither stood up to take it from him nor blamed him. When others found him and told him, I saw that he was unashamed and hid it with a laugh.

I remember my 50th birthday, a believer in the home specially gave me a valuable spring bed, but I used to sleep on the wooden bed, but could not bear to tell him, let him sad, since then had to use the bed as an ornament, he slept on the floor every day for ten years.

Once, I was invited to Vancouver to preach Buddhism. Thanks to the kindness of my followers, I borrowed the villa of a layman surnamed Zhang for my business. There was a set of exquisite bathrooms with new switches, long wool carpets, and beautiful shower curtains and baths.

I also remember that in order to show their respect to me, the South Korean master Ding Woo and the Toronto land broker Wen Jushi booked a five-star presidential suite for me to live in. But seeing the magnificence of the interior, I could not bear to use it, so I sat all night on the sofa and chair until morning.

To think on the good side, this is their filial piety goodwill, how can I criticize? Forty years ago, when I first arrived at the Lei Yin Temple in Yilan, the scene was quite different from that of today.

At that time, as a result of policy, temples were filled with military spouses, and red steps became kitchens for the public, where every time I went to the toilet, I had to wait for someone to remove the cooking stove before I could open the door and enter. At first, I spent the night under the Buddha's table. Later, the temple arranged a small room for me to live in. Besides an old bamboo bed, there was only an old sewing machine in it, but I was satisfied. Every time I sleep, I am always careful, a lie down, dare not turn over, lest the bamboo bed babble, noisy to others.

Three months later, I picked up an unused chair from Bujiao's prison and was so happy that every night after everyone went to bed, I would pull the lamp in front of the Buddha to the door of my room and lie on the sewing machine to write. It may seem strange to modern people, but at that time, I cherished this rare opportunity very much. Then I was 26 years old and I used electric light for the first time. Before, there was no electric light in Qixia Mountain, Jiaoshan Mountain, Yixing, Jongli and Caojao Lake, etc., so I couldn't go to bed despite the swarm of mosquitoes and cockroaches. Sometimes I wouldn't stop writing until I heard the sound of each new day.

Today, 30 or 40 years later, seeing the modern young people with an empty stomach and high heart, ramming into the mountains to practice, reading Tibetan closed doors, I can not help but feel very sad, if the cause is not good, how can we get the dragon heaven protection? "Three blessings and wisdom, one hundred calamities", without the spirit of perseverance and education, how to achieve great life events? "I have endured all my life like this", not only in terms of material lack, but also in terms of spirit, human feelings, principles, dignity and other violations of the realm, why not endure hundreds of millions of times?

In 1991, when I broke my leg in the bathroom, there were many "custodian" around me. One apprentice asked me not to eat this kind of food, and the other told me not to use that kind of crutch. Sometimes, because I was not well, one disciple brought one medicine and the other, and I had to endure taking both in order to satisfy the good will of all. Some believers say that America is good, so they ask me to go to America. Some believers say that Australia is good, Africa is good, Europe is good, and they want me to go there and preach. I in order to meet everyone's "good", so, only the patience of the journey, flying everywhere.

Although every helpless, but think of the teacher in their mind forever young, also only self-mockery. Sometimes I look back and reflect: "Thinking for others" is convenient for others, but also let me "endure this life". My leg was broken because I slipped and fell when I rushed out of the bathroom in case the phone rang. Although there is a car in front of the supervisor, I still try not to let the phone ring more than three times, innate character is not easy to get rid of ah!

Looking back on my life, ever since I've had a telephone, it's really annoying. I often in the middle of the night by the Western hemisphere, the southern Hemisphere calls to wake up, pick up the phone to listen to, often are some painless little things, although the heart is also blaming them inconsiderate of others, calculated in advance of the time difference, but still speak gently, not to embarrass the other side, and I lost a night of insomnia.

Later, when some disciples knew about it, they always advised me: "Master, you should leave them alone and unplug the telephone before going to bed at night." But I have never done so, and my natural dislike of disappointing makes me doomed to "endure it all my life".

Not only am I restless in the middle of the night, but even in the daytime, I have to use all six of them in parallel. In my juridical hall, there are always a crowd of apprentices gathered to discuss things with me. I not only have to look at the situation, but also have to meet the situation on both sides, lest I neglect that one person. Sometimes we are deadlocked for business, and I have to mediate. After a few hours, my mouth is dry and exhausted.

After I left the court, some people asked me to work on the road, holding a stack of forms and reports, hoping that I could give some advice. Although I was impatient and eager to make achievements, I often came out on the way to get gold. When I met tourist believers, they would knead their hands to worship me and ask for a photo.

Ten years ago, I led a group to visit abroad many times, and in recent years, I frequently traveled around the world to preach Buddhism. Often flying for a few hours, the plane, was surrounded by people, took photos, speech accounted for most of the time, even wash the face, the toilet space did not, less than the night, unable to return to a simple rest in the room. Every day, repeat, ten days and a half a month later, and then ride to the airport, fly to another place. Although the tour of the famous city, in fact, did not enjoy watching; Although I have visited all the famous mountains and rivers in the world, I have not visited the resorts carefully, but just arrived and failed to visit them.

Over the past decades, almost all of the Buddhist temples in Foguang Mountain were built by me, and upon completion, they were immediately handed over to my disciples to manage. Every table, chair, brick and tile in them contain my experience and philosophy over the years. However, after my disciple took office, he could not do well in my mind, nor did he come to me to ask for the reason, so he easily changed the cubicle, dug the wall, and even changed the Buddha statue. When I went to visit again, everything was "unrecognizable". The abbot disciple was still asking me: "Did you change it well?" I never like to deny other people's opinions, even if the heart does not agree, only to say "yes". Although a lot of patience in my heart, but I say "good", but how much trouble, give people a lot of joy, eliminate how many generation gap problems, it is quite worth it.

I have more than a thousand monks and more than one million followers at home, but when they are happy, they will not think of coming to me. Once they come to me, they must have trouble, and most of them claim that they are coming for an "emergency". No matter how busy and tired I am, I have to "be obedient to all living beings", receiving, listening to, comforting and encouraging them. With their own years of history chain, but also solved a lot of incurable diseases. But other disciples said to me, "Master, you only ask us to be patient. Is there no other way but to be patient?" Indeed, the only way, the only strength in my life, is patience.

Looking back on my life, just as Chen Cheng said, "In order to do things, we must be patient; in order to achieve perfection, we must be wronged." Although "I have endured all my life like this", I have awakened many confused sentient beings and achieved many Dharma bodies and wise lives. Therefore, I pray that the Saha will come again from generation to generation, and that the bhikkhu body will always be able to endure and be in the right place to aid sentient beings.