I Never Want to go to Sleep Again

My son woke me up this afternoon, all fluttery. He was terrified. Jess has never really had bad dreams. He has a comfortable life. Shelter, all the food he could wish for, and Farmer Michael always makes sure not to disturb us. In fact, when Jeff came along, Farmer Michael always bought us food and made sure we were warm and well looked after.

He is such a kind man, that’s why Jeff surprised me.

“It was horrible, mummy. They’re broken.”

He spoke of war, famine, death. I was starting to wonder what his father had been showing him. We aren’t together anymore. Jeff goes to a different farm to see him.

He told me his dream:

I was a school. The other boys and girls were mean to me. They said I was fat. But I looked just like them! I had two arms and two legs! No one would play with me. It was really sad. Then, I closed my eyes and suddenly, I was really big! Like farmer Michael. I was dressed really funny. I wore itchy fabric that was too tight, with this weird, thin piece of material around my neck.

Some of the big people were being mean about one of the other big people, because he wasn’t white like them. They said his voice was funny, then copied him, whilst shaking their head. I didn’t think any of it was funny. Then, two of them said something about one of the girls. I didn’t understand. Something about a big chest and looking better with a lower or no top?

It got worse the more I saw. I had to choose between food or water, because I didn’t have enough coins. There is something deadly spreading via humans, but people were refusing to prevent it. There was a crazy man with silly hair being mean to people in his country, then another man, with the same silly hair, breaking rules, but then moaning at other people who did the same. It was very confusing, mummy.

There were people with no homes. Did you know there have been two world wars? And they’re talking of another one. Why can’t they just live peacefully like us? Farmer Michael is so nice, how does he cope with all the other big people being big meanies? The thing that scared me a lot, was that they said there are bombs that can destroy places instantly. With heat. Who would use it? That’s so sad. Another man with silly hair has a lot of control over it and is threatening people with it. Why do all the people in charge have silly hair?

I don’t ever want to dream that I’m a human again. Humans are scary. I like being an Owl, mummy.

He spent the rest of the day all in a tizz. I’ve spent my life protecting him from humans. I’ve seen them destroy our homes, build large buildings where us animals used to enjoy some quiet time. I was hoping Jeff would be older when he realised that humans were the actual ‘animals’.

We were lucky to find a home here with Farmer Michael. When I was a baby Barn Owl, my parents and I were always on the move. Even when I married Jeff’s father. Two young humans boys thought it would be funny to throw stones at our nest. It fell, killing two of my babies. That is why I’m so protective of Jeff; he was the only one to survive.

I can’t believe that humans, the smartest of all the creatures, are killing this planet. Jeff went into so much detail, especially about the devastation he saw from the nuclear bomb. We are powerless to do anything. Humans are both the problem and the solution.

I hope tomorrow wasn’t like today. I told Jeff to close his eyes, but as he nestled down, he looked up at me sadly and simply said:

‘I never want to go to sleep again’