I miss you. Goodbye

I don't know why, I just miss you all the time.

I miss your long, curled eyelashes. Big, clear eyes. Benignant smile. Slow and wrong English.

You're not young, but not mature, though manly.

You're not rich, even running out of money due to an apartment move.

You cheated me twice, saying that you're coming, but never showed up with different ridiculous excuses.

You're not good, but I'm still into you.

I like to look at you, just like looking at my boyfriend.

I like to talk with you and enjoy every response you make.

I like to stay with you, feeling you're next to me, even saying nothing.

I'm even eager to go to your place and enjoy every moment you want to have with me.

I'm always waiting for your messages and calls.

I used to get them excitedly, I thought you liked me so much, and you were online for me. I thought we´re a couple of lovers with each other´s hearts beating together.

However, recently, even though you're online, for a long time, there has not been a single message sent to me.

I feel that you´re leaving me, farther and farther.

You said you don't usually chat with friends. So, who were you chatting with?

I know I have no position to require you to chat with me when you're free.

I used to be curious and ask you, but you said, I'm not with you, I have my boyfriend, why do I say this to you?

I was shocked. I thought that was only a simple question. But it seems that I can't approach you like this.

OK then, I can keep silent, though I really feel heartache.

I used to tell you, you're the only reason I use WhatsApp. I only talk with you there. I only have you there. Every time I'm online, I am for you. I check the APP regularly, even keep myself online all the time, for you, waiting for your message.

When I see you're online, I feel I'm together with you in the same space. I feel happy, excited, and nervous.

However, after so many times, so many days, I saw you were there, not for me, then you left. I understand, I'm only a small part of you, of your life. I'm not that important. You don't even miss me, though you keep saying that you like me, you want me, you want to be with me.

Of course, you used to say, you respect me and want to give me space.

However, I don't wanna space, I want to be occupied by you, fulfilled.

I don't understand either. If you like me that much, you're eager to be with me, how could you leave me alone when we've already agreed on a time to meet, twice?

Nevertheless, I forgive you. I still want to be with you. I think I've provided you with a high privilege to hurt me, again and again. I would even consider a third chance for you if you require it.

You know what? Now, when I see you online, my reaction is to escape immediately, with my heartache in my body.

I was surprised when I found myself changed to this. I guess I've been hurt a lot. My body doesn't want to experience the process of waiting for your contact, but ultimately disappointed.

I know, I have no right to ask for anything. The only thing I could do is to let you go. Go for your own life, your potential lover in the future.

It's my fault, for falling in love with you and expressing my love unconsciously.

I'll try my best, to forget about you, about everything between us, and treat you as a normal friend only.

Goodbye! ¡Adíos!