I'm Done

I really feel painful, my stomach feels very uncomfortable. I ate a lot yesterday and had 2 diarrheas at night and in the morning.

I'm glad that I used up my hand cream and started with a new one with a very nice scent, which makes me feel better.

I know that we have problems in communication. I told him, and he said it just needs some patience. However, in addition to that, now we have cultural differences, fiercely.

It's so normal for people with different nationalities to encounter this kind of conflict. He said in DR, if a woman looks at a man directly, she likes the guy, and if she smiles at the guy, she is likely to have interest in having sex with the guy. As a result, it is improper for me to ask for the man's phone number. On the contrary, he asked for the phone number of my Uber driver, "in case he wants to come to me, he can come", as he said. I had at least 6 male drivers before, but he never asked for their numbers. At that time, his face looked strange, looked like nothing special, but I could feel the nervousness behind the "peaceful". I don't really care if he wants to do anything with the number, I even hope he could be with the girl if they could be together. But that's unfair, right?

Now, it's fine, he can text anyone he's interested in and say he loves them as he wants. He's also good at sending pictures of love themes to express his love. No problem. I do have the same feeling as him in this aspect.

The thing that hurts me was that he talked about his so-called "compatre" three times, saying that I like him, I sent messages to him, and I want to fuck him.

The first time I heard about it was so shocked, what the hell?! I only saw him twice and said hi to him. The only reason why I have his number is that their boss asked me to get a surfing school from him. That was the only message we had a month ago. Now his buddy asked him twice, "Where's your Chinese girl?" he thought we had affections, and I like him, I want to go to bed with him. I did nothing, but he thought I was that kind of casual woman. I explained all night with a huge amount of messages to explain. Actually, I don't need to explain, and I don't want to explain either because I did nothing. That's their problem. It's only because I care about him. I have great patience with him indeed.

Then I got a chance to visit him at home. I explained again, holding his neck and face, but he just kept saying the same thing. A better thing was that he knew and could feel I liked him a lot. I thought it was gone.

Unfortunately, when I mentioned another dive buddy whom I had met several times, he complained about the phone number again. Then the same words came out again: If I like him, if I want to sleep with him, it's fine, because he respects every woman with him. That is ridiculous, absolutely! Also, it's ironic because he said "every woman", which means he has had a lot. It's fine. I'm done with this. No more with this Casanova, no matter before or in the future. He said he's fallen in love with me, but the funny thing is, he could talk to his lover like that. That's a humiliation, and an insult to me, 3 times. I'm done with this. I don't want to have any contact with him, at least for half a month before I go back to diving again.

He then called me 8 times, with similar words expressing his need, desire, but not a word about sorry. I understand, he might be worried about his friend who always looks for his girls before. I understand, he has his obsession in his mind. But he can not hurt me like this, 3 times. I've already told him everything, it's about the trust, understanding, treasure, and respect. The basic respect for me did not exist. I'll never allow this to happen again. It's I who gave him the privilege to humiliate, insult, and hurt me like this. I'm not that lowly.

So, the key point is respect, understanding. It's quite basic, but he cannot give me. He just wants my accompany, my body. He doesn't even know me, that's why he could say those bad things to me. As long as he tries to know me more, he will believe I'm not the kind of casual woman who could fall in love with anyone and sleep with anyone. What a hurt and what a relief if I leave him. He said he wanted a careful relationship, but I'm different from him. So ridiculous. Fine, go and think whatever you think is correct. I'm done with it. I don't want to waste my time explaining the same issues all the time with a guy who doesn't even respect me, and never mentions the trust! There's nothing treasurable between us. We're done! Although I still miss him, I still like his smile, his eyelashes, his body, his soft, tender, passionate, and desire for me.