I Am the Night Owl, Lilith

“The wild Beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, and the Satyr shall cry to his fellow; the Lilith also shall rest there, and find for herself a place of rest.

There shall the Great Owl make her nest, and lay, and nest, and gather under her shadows….” (Isaiah 34).

I Am the Lilith

My name is Lilith. I am the goddess of all goddesses. I haunt the marshes and woodlands of the east. I prey upon the blood of children and I consume the souls of men. They stole my children from me. Now I shall take their progeny from them.

I shall tell you my story from the beginning. My eyes. Not the eyes of the men who saw me. This is how my eyes see me. How the eyes of the owl see my skin at night time hours. This is not a man's perspective. They have said their peace through time and space. Now, these are my eyes. The eyes of the owl. The feminine sight.

Eden

“Awake, O North wind; and come thou south! Blow upon my Garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my Beloved come into the Garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.” (Song of Solomon, 4).

I remember the first breath. I felt the hands of the creatrix form my sinews. Their hands are warm. Their breath is hot. It fills my lungs and spreads throughout my body. I remember the sensation the first time I inhaled.

My eyes fluttered and I saw the sunshine. But I quickly felt my brain shut down and I went back to the darkness of my brain. Then, I felt the hot air once again. And my eyes fluttered open. This time, I saw the moon shimmering in all her glory.

But, she did not overwhelm me as the sun did.

The moon was soft and compassionate. I liked her gaze. I smiled back, for I knew she smiled at me. I slowly sat up. Unaware of what I was, who I was, why I was. I just was. Before me I saw a soft glowing light.

"Arise, Lilith," I heard a beautiful voice come from the light. "Mother of humanity. I give to you, your husband Adam. You are the other half, the one who brings life. Welcome to paradise."

"What am I meant to do?" I asked, looking upon the body of the man.

"You are both meant to be happy," answered the light. "And your offspring shall be happy. I leave my blessing upon you and the whole earth."

I smiled at Adam and he smiled back at me. I stood to hold his hand. What a marvelous thing, hands. The touch is electric. The heat is explosive. He watched me closely and gently.

I discovered my new home with my new love. He was made alongside me, by the same warm hands that crafted me. He told me the same hot breath filled his lungs. He told me when his eyes open ed he beheld the moon. Then, when he opened them again, he beheld the sun. He loved the passionate fire and the intensity of it's fire.

I felt he had this fire. Meanwhile, I held the coolness of the moon. We were complete with one another. So beautiful and generating our light. Days were not numbered. Time was not factored. All we had was passion and love. But above all, joy. Happiness. And the warm glow of the light of creation.

This was not to last, though.

The Fall

“And I saw other lightnings and the Stars of Heaven, and I saw how He called them all by their names and they hearkened unto Him….”What are these?” I asked the angel. And he said to me: “The Lord of Hosts hath shown thee their parabolic meaning: These are the Names of the Holy who dwell on Earth…..” (Enoch, 43).

I walked in the garden the morning one day. I know not what day, for we would not track the passing of the sun and moon to days and nights. We just had the passing. We existed within it and marveled each time.

This day was memorable for me though. I walked in the garden in search of my favorite berries. I found them under the shade of a willow tree. I sat there as some birds came by to join me in my feast. Suddenly,I heard Adams' voice. He spoke in hushed tones. I stood up, curious about who he spoke to.

I looked across the way and saw him speaking with a long green serpent. The serpent had the most yellow eyes I've ever seen. So beautiful like an emerald with yellow diamonds for eyes. He hissed his words quietly. I listened to them.

"She will try to dominate you," hissed the snake. "You are not equals. Look at her. And look at you. She is not your equal."

He did not respond. He just watched, mesmerized by the serpents' seductive movement. I felt at that moment that I did not know my husband. His eyes grew dark. I became afraid of him.

Before this moment, Adam and I made love without fear. He pleased me and I pleased him. Every morning a new star would appear on the horizon. I knew they were our children. Soon, hundreds of these stars speckled the evening sky alongside the moon.

My children would visit me. Beings of light and beauty. They made music and danced. But, Adam no longer visited them. He no longer spoke to them. We danced alone at night.

I grew more and more afraid of him.

I hid in the garden long into the night. I heard him calling me and asking me to make love. But, I hid. I did not want him to dominate me. I did not want him to own me as the serpent said. I wanted to fly freely like the birds. I continued to hide every night.

Finally, one day, I heard the voice of the Creatorix speak to us.

"My children, where has your joy gone?" Asked the light.

Adam was angry, "she refuses to lie beneath me!"

I tried to protest but he continued. "She refuses me sex! I am a man, I deserve this from her. I demand it! It is why she exists!"

"That is not so!" Answered the light, but then, the serpent slithered in. I felt the serpent. He slithered under my feet, up my legs, near to myself.

I felt myself lose my strength. I felt ashamed. I felt that my body was less. Was not worthy. Was broken. Was naked. I fled to the waters and gazed at my reflection.

My face was sad. My body was not perfect. It was bent. It tucked. It did not glow as it once did. I wept there by the waters. My children, the stars, came down to comfort me. Their lights surrounding me. Their laughter painting me.

But I still felt ashamed. They stayed with me. They stayed there until the moon came up and I slept beneath her gaze. But, in the midst of the night I felt the serpent touching my body. I heard his voice filling my head.

"He will come to you," hissed the serpent. "He will come to lie on top of you. He will subdue you beneath him. You shall forever be his slave."

I felt my skin grow cold.

"Only one can save you," he insisted. "Say his name. Invoke the Most High. He shall save you In your moment of need."

He hissed his name in my ear. I knew the name. We were not to utter it. To summon this being will put out all the lights and joy of the world. The Most High destroys. Paradise will be gone. The Light, our creator, will fade. The universe will plunge to shadows.

But still I feared Adam. I knew he was lurking nearby.

Banished from Paradise

“....All things on Earth shall alter. And shall not appear in their time, and the rain shall be kept back, and the Heavens shall hold it….The Moon shall alter her order and shall not appear in her time.” (Enoch, 80).

I jumped up and saw Adam there watching me from the brush. His body naked. His eyes are hungry. I shrieked and fled. He chased me. He followed me with the speed of an elk.

He grabbed me. First by the wrist. Then he threw me. He threw me to the ground. I rolled and tried to escape.

He pinned me down at the elbows. He looked at me with rage and I shrieked for help. He moved in on me. My body resisted, but he persisted.

I felt the light fading from me, when suddenly, a raging fire consumed me.

I called out his name! At the top of my lungs I called out the name of the Most High. The name that is never uttered. The name you cannot unsay.

Adam was so shocked he fell from me. I sprang to my feet. The night owl was perched on the tree beside me. He led me. I followed the night owl as the winds picked up. Clouds covered the skies. Adam was struck with fear.

"Take hold of the winds back," directed the owl's voice in my head. "We will take you to freedom." I grasped the winds and the owl took me.

Far far away into the depths of the wild. Out from paradise where monsters lie. But, this was the price of my freedom.

Lights of the Heavens

“.....I have revealed everything to thee that thou shouldst see this Sun and this Moon, and the leaders of the Stars of the Heaven, and all those who turn them….” (Enoch, 80).

But, alas! This was not the end of my suffering. I summoned the destroyer. I watched as the earth plunged to darkness. The warmth of the Creator’s light faded from her. Plants died. Animals howled in pain. I stood alone in the shadows of the craggy rocks of Sinai.

My feet turned to talons. I sprouted the feathered wings of the owls. Two night owls were my only companions. One was white as snow. The other black as the abyss.

They are my mind. Both light and dark.

They hunted the small prey of the Earth, but I would not. The Creatrix was a being of light and never fed us the blood of life. I waited in hope that the Most High would depart and the light would return.

But the Creatrix did not return. One night, as the rains fell upon the barren landscape, I heard someone approach me. A voice from the skies boomed down upon me as I saw the figure to be Adam.

“Take your mate and be one with him,” ordered the Most High. “You have not slept with him as a woman should. You have neglected your husband. I shall permit you the return to paradise if you will only submit.”

He stared back at me with angry eyes. He did not wish to make love. He wanted to subdue me. I looked up to the sky and declared, “I submit to no one! I am the child of the Creatrix! A being of light! See now my children who dot the skies of heaven? They are my children! I will not submit to anyone!”

I knew in my spirit that paradise would never again exist on earth. The light was gone, but not entirely. They live in me.

The skies rumbled. Adam was whisked away back to Eden. The sky continued to shake and shake until I watched in horror as my children fell from the sky in burning flashes!

They screamed in pain but the earth consumed them! I tried to help them, but I could not! The earth swallowed them! They cried out in agony, but I could not save them.

I wept. I wept for several years. The lights were gone from the skies. But, the fires were not gone from my soul. I was determined to destroy mankind.

I went into my old husband in his dream, and gave him thoughts of fire and hate. From his mind he created the first Daemon. My counterpart, Shamyaza. Together, he and I bore thousands of offspring.

They became the monsters of the earth. They haunt the wild, the ocean, and the storms. They live in your mind and in your dreams at night.

You have destroyed my children, mankind. I am Lilith. I will destroy you.

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“So he carried me away in the Spirit into the Wilderness: and I saw a Woman sit upon a Scarlet Coloured Beast, full of Names of blasphemy having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls….Upon her head was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON, THE GREAT. THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND THE ABOMINATION OF THE EARTH.And, I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints….And when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.” (Revelation, 17).