I am Bexley chap 36 The Bloodletters Scourge

Emma was sobbing, holding onto to India. India was kneeling down, holding onto her gently. I could see it in her golden eyes, the fury. The pain. The anger.

I still cannot find Ax. We lost a Bloodletter. I think his name was… I don’t remember his name. I don’t think he ever gave me his name, if he had one. He was officially the first Bloodletter to be allowed to live with zombies. There had been stragglers that attempted integration but apparently that didn’t work either. But, this was bad. He was killed by a zombie mob for mixing up zombie sign language and Bloodletter sign language. The other Bloodletter ran off too at the sight of his friend’s crushed head. It was one of the worst things I ever saw.

Indigo ran off when Amory started going crazy. I don’t even know where he is either. He just went nuts. He started using his claws to rip off his skin. I don’t understand why but I think the sight of everything might’ve made him go crazy. I don’t blame him. I feel crazy too.

I run over to India and Emma, and I embrace them both.

India sinks into the embrace and Emma latches onto me.

“Oh, Stan, what the hell was all that? I just don’t understand. I-I am so sorry!” Emma says in broken sobs.

I look at her softly, trying to fix her curls, moving them away from her tear stained face.

“I’m sorry too. That was a huge misunderstanding. I can’t believe it either,” I sign to her and India.

India growls, standing up, “I tried to explain it to them, Stan. Remember? It was a very easy to explain error that the zombies would have understood if I had had the opportunity to explain! Then you had to get in front of me because you think you know everything. You don’t know everything about my people. You are barely even a zombie, you just recently got turned by your wife. Why… why did you interrupt me?!” India angrily signs to me.

Emma wipes her eyes, standing up, “Wait, Indy, that isn’t fair. Stan wasn’t trying to insult you. He just wanted to calm them down.”

“Well that didn’t work either! They still flattened him!” India signs furiously, stomping the ground.

I feel a terrible achy sensation in my throat as India yells at me with her hands. If I could breathe, I would’ve lost my breath.

“Are you serious? Are you actually serious India? How can you say that to me? You know that once a group gets a mob mentality it’s usually impossible to get through. I thought if they saw someone that looked like them they might listen..” I sign, angry and upset.

India quickly signs, “That’s always been the issue. We Bloodletters need a voice. Everyone takes our voice away. I was willing to fight for our voice. You took that away!”

Cara and Ben come over, looking at us concerned and uncomfortable with our fighting. I saw a sad look on Ben’s eye, a quick flash, then it went away.

“I took it away? God, India, don’t blame this on me! I didn’t want this!” I sign feeling more and more angry and frustrated by her insinuations and accusations.

“You need to know your place too, Stan. It’s not your place to be the damn hero and try to fix everything like it’s your job!” India emphasizes as she slaps her hands together between words. Emma looks stunned by her girlfriend’s sudden flip on me, giving me a distraught glance.

“Whoa, whoa, everyone let’s calm down. Please. Guys…” Emma says, as India and I fight again. “Guys?!”

“Everyone, SHUT UP!” Ben yells.

We all turn to him, looking flustered and angry.

“Baby sis,” Cara runs over to Emma, hugging her as she cries out more tears.

“Um, I’m sorry for raising my voice, everyone. I have terrible news. Me and Cara went for a walk to cool down. We saw… we saw Ax,” Ben had that sad look again and I instantly knew what it was.

Cara kisses her sister’s forehead, getting up.

“He was.. really hurt from fighting off the zombies. It.. it was bad. He wanted to go somewhere to try and recover. But he told us what happened. He got attacked by another group of zombies. They knew that Ax was supporting Bloodletters and humans to integrate into zombie neighborhoods. So they…” Cara bites her lip, her eyes glossing over. “They killed him.”

Ben nodded. “He could barely tell us anything. Just fragments of what had happened. But I could piece it together.”

Emma cries, “Oh no, it can’t be true! Bexley is going to be… devastated.”

I sign, “Did he say anything else?” I feel something whirling inside of me that feels black, pitch black, like the windless, soundless barrier of deepest space.

“He.. did. Ben tell ‘em…” Cara cries.

“He said to tell Bexley he loves her. Like a dad to a daughter…” Ben said quietly, wiping his red eyes.

“Fuck… fucking hell…why?” I sign, feeling dizzy and like my own body was betraying me, feeling faint. I lie on the ground, sinking my claws into the dirt.

“I’m so sorry, Stan,” Emma comes over and brushes my stiff black hair, “I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I had died. I would have died for him,” I sign.

“Which one?” India signs, looking at me.

I sit up a little. “What?” I sign with a hot feeling all over.

“Which one? Which one would you choose? Ax or Fox?” India says.

“Fox?” I sign back.

India growls, “That was his name!” She signs fiercely.

“I would try to save both,” I sign. “India, leave me the hell alone, I’m so serious, I need you to get the hell away got me..”

“You can’t say both!” India signs. Emma takes her by the arm, pulling her away.

Cara helps Emma as they all try to let India cool down.

The day lingers on as we all try to figure out what to do next. It is repressively hot outside. Being a zombie, it’s not that you feel the heat. It’s the humidity that makes your pores open like a wound to sweat and feel like your skin is shedding off of you. It’s unbearable.

It’s hard. It’s even harder being without my wife, Bexley, I miss her so much.

Finally, we start getting our group together even if it’s unbalanced and everyone is angry.

It’s then that we see that other Bloodletter come over to us. He looks so sad. It hits me somewhere deftly inside, as I see how sad his eyes are.

“You killed Fox. He was my brother. He was abandoned by everyone, by everything. He saved me from zombies that were trying to destroy me long ago and I would never tried to put him in this danger if I knew you would have just let him… him… die!” The Bloodletter signs with a deep sadness and pain, his motions calculated and slow.

“Frog, please! We are so sorry! I’m so sorry!” India signs to him.

Emma goes over, saying, “We wanted you all to be safe. We thought…” she looks down, and India moves over to Frog.

Her stance is hunched, as she is growling and biting his fingers, anxious and nervous. “Frog, I really thought we had a chance. We thought we bought his safety.”

“You were all wrong!” He signs, slamming into a tree, making it shake so violently, everyone ran away from the trembling ground.

He leaves us alone with the sound of his fury. The trees branches and leaves are swaying, violently moving up and down and side to side.

The shockwaves hit me. I can’t move, I can’t even blink, it’s all over me. This grief, it’s like I grew an extension of my self with the shaking of the ground and the tree.

I’m a part of this.