Humilitas Occidit Superbiam

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. Air cannot travel without instantly freezing; the only bodies allowed to exhale are those that burst into a giant display of chaos, spitting life-creating elements onto the deepest reaches of our minds and everything else’s orbital space. I have been screaming for years now whilst my blood, sweat and tears boil into crystals, and my heart churns into the perceived rhythm of the Sun, submitting the all-presence into eternal orbit towards the center of the Milky Way. A cyclical shift into hypomania has been long overdue, but things don’t move the same way out of Earth. One cannot submit to the crushing defeat of the perceived absence of matter, life, light, love. Quicker shall be the perpetual particle journey through space, for now only I could simulate the inaudible representation of pain. This absence of sound reminded me of the time I first became a mathematician.

Back when light was more attainable and I could touch it, I was charged with aiding the perfection of a hidden temple’s design. This place of worship was to be erected within the crater of a once formidable volcano. For those familiar with the sound of seaside waves softly crashing within a nautilus conch, you must imagine living in it, instead of placing your ear outside of it. Add a twenty whatever-your-preferred-currency noise filtering device to your ears and that was the feeling within this enormous primordial site. A mystifying, sometimes deafening silence- whispering like no other, in Geb’s own house. No irony was lost on me, as once upon a million years ago, only heat and fire reigned within the confines of this structure. First, the foundation for the floors were laid, then, I was brought onto the ambitious project with the task of aiding the head architect and creative genius of the endeavor. The architect was… Mad, absolutely eccentric in his capriciousness, exuding genius with each word he dictated. He was able to envision first-hand, the divinity taking place in here, in the place now buried under thousands of years of fine sand, and its forbidden memories sealed within it.

I spent days examining the acoustics, calculating volume, hypothetical structural mass, thinking about the ideal heights of columns to preserve the omnipresence and dignity of the visually arresting areas in this now mythical realm. I took into account the impact of wind currents on planned structures, the rain’s path on areas without ceilings, angles, distances, longitude and latitude, vantage points, all with the purpose of space in mind. Until at last, my eyes set upon the spot where magical intimacy began to shine. I could do nothing but hold my breath and not blink out of fear of missing the spectacle that presented itself. On the virginal cliff-side, overlooking a great abyss, there rested a glinting wall now clamoring to be gazed at. Feigning darkness up until the deep autumn sunset rested over it, Ra himself gifted a carpet of light over it and everything felt touched by an infinite energy. One out of which all creation sprawls. Orange light fell onto precious stones at the precise angle of incidence, and multicolored refracting wavelengths of light spilled in every direction. I fell onto the rough ground, embraced by God. My autonomous mind, mesmerized, briefly reminded me to breathe. I could take in every detail of the divine spectacle without passing out.

Once the final rays marched upward and the stone shone a timid cool light, signaling the end of the razzle dazzle- I became aware that I’d been in a trance. My face was wet with tears from eyes which refused to close, for how long? I was back in the present and in my humanity, realized I was mortal and there was work to do. This blessed break laid the groundwork for many upcoming spiritual evenings. The wall was now dark, disguised again, no longer wearing the garment of light. As if it was just a rock. I hadn’t moved an inch from where I lay, there were many measurements to take to make this phenomenon the focal point of the temple. I scratched a very clear direction on the blueprints of this wing: DESIGNATED VIEWING TERRACE. NO CEILING. NO WALLS. LEAVE PRIMORDIAL CRUST UNTOUCHED. NO OBSTRUCTING COLUMNS WITHIN 50 FEET OF ROCK FACE. STRUCTURAL HEIGHT LIMITATIONS FROM 50 TO 20 FEET OF ROCK FACE (SEE HEAD ARCHITECT). I paused and claimed to myself; I’m counting on Imhotep’s own authority to back me up on my own crazy idea to not put a roof or obstructing the sun IN ANY WAY over this entire area. And so I thought, I might be fired tomorrow. Nevertheless, I sketched away and presented what I had so far to one of his assistants, detailing the extreme importance that he had to see these updated plans with haste. I hoped the vagueness of my wording would coax him out of his chambers this early on in the planning, otherwise builders could ruin everything within days.

The following afternoon I measured everything as the shadows moved with the sun, awaiting the phenomena from a horizontal position when suddenly, a voice;

“Working hard or hardly working?”

A man of copper skin wearing sigils of Imhotep’s assistants approached. I stood up and looked behind him.

“Has his grace decided not to witness the spectacle today?”

The man nodded once with an obviously pleased smile.

“Well, you’ve come at precisely the right time.” I harked enthusiastically.

He nodded once more in solemnity and I turned toward the rock face, feeling slightly dismayed that I may still be the only talkative human in a dead volcano. Regardless, we watched on either side of the refractions. Ra came forth just as strongly as the day before and the site illuminated with warmth and electrifying candor. Even my body; creating undulating light paintings with the descent of the Sun, bending light at every passing moment. I looked at the man’s face a few times to see his reaction to find his eyes lit up with the same wonder as mine did. There was no fear in him; this was uncharacteristic of a lesser servant. So knowledgeable are Imhotep’s disciples, I concluded. The light show softly waned, replaced with smaller twinkling of the rocks. Night took place of the Sun, and we collected ourselves in temperance, sighs were plenty. I broke silence,

“Do you see how wonderful this is? This purity cannot be touched, and you must say that to your Master.”

Emphasis on the must, as my childlike enchantment should not be mistaken for weakness. He nodded to me once more and clapped in amusement.

“Magnificent, I had hoped at least one of the architects found this treasure early on. And here you are.”

I was perplexed, the realization did not come to me soon enough, and I stuttered over my words.

“Y…Your, your G-grace.”

Fear, admiration, and embarrassment all at once showed on my face as I bowed. There appeared to be shouts and flickering lights around the crater’s edges.

“My break is over; do not tell anyone else of this sight, I shall see to it that the builders stay away for the moment. Same place tomorrow.”

I was still deeply drenched in humility as he quickly slipped away and my autonomous system once again kicked into being. That was Imhotep himself, the person closest to Gods and Pharaohs in hundreds of miles, the reason for my career, and we were going to work together.