HR Complaint

Can I come in?

Of course, J.J . Whenever you need to.

I’m afraid Amy and I need to file an HR complaint. It’s regarding our current temp.

Temp?

Yes. While we appreciate that the company requires someone to help with daily upkeep, it is our understanding you may be looking to extend his contract. Indefinitely.

The company? Oh, God, not this again. And, are you talking about George? Is he the temp?

Yes. I thought that was obvious.

He’s my boy…man…friend. He’s not a temp.

True, he has lasted longer than the other temps. And there have been many. Do you have a discount at the agency?

Watch it.

Back to the matter at hand. While I’m sure the temp provides services that Amy and I cannot…

Oh, don’t say services. You’re only five.

Like painting, lawnwork, and gutter cleaning, we question whether he’s a good fit long-term.

In the end, that has to be my decision.

As CEO, I would hope you’d take us into consideration.

As your MOTHER, of course I would. Always. Look, where are you getting all of this?

We’ve been consulting our attorney.

Oh, I'm not going to like this. Who?

You’re ex-husband.

He’s your father, too. I’m not the only one that has to claim him. And he’s not an attorney. Couldn’t even pass the LSATS. Twice.

He’s the closest thing we could afford.

And how are you paying him? Because I may have to cut your allowance.

Love and affection. Counterfeit, of course, but he doesn’t seem to know the difference.

He never did.

Look, George is a lovely man and a good temp, if easily replaceable, but hiring him full-time may require extreme actions on our part.

Oh, such as?

We could strike.

You’re FIVE! And you don’t have a collective bargaining agreement.

If we can’t negotiate in good faith, we could initiate a hunger strike.

You only eat PB&J and orange juice anyway. God forbid I give you a piece of broccoli.

Academically, all those pluses on our report card could easily turn to minuses.

Only if you’re ready to give up ice cream for the rest of your life.

We could withhold our love and affection. The real stuff.

Maybe I’ll just have to get what I need from George.

We both know he’s not capable.

Damn. You’re right. But I need time to find another temp. My current agency is running low on replacements. Although, Thursday is dollar beer night.

Of course, but please don’t take too long. It wouldn’t be fair to George. He might think he’s one of the family.

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A/N: This is a follow-up to my story below: