Hourglass: A Tale of Anxiety Part 4

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” — Sonia Ricotti.

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Rachelle

~~~

Mommy’s nagging voice is fading, but not quickly enough. Desperate for silence, I press on my ears harder. Popping occurs from the pressure.

The warm, soapy water stings my eyes; a weight forms on my chest, causing me to panic.

My body’s warning me to come up for air, otherwise, I’ll suffocate in the bathtub.

Rationally, I know I should, but I can’t!

If I come up, I’ll have to face Mommy all over again.

She’s going to judge my weight, skin, single status, and career choice once I’m available!

No matter how hard it is for me, she’ll keep going.

She always does.

Over and over, until I give in, or I end it personally.

My lungs constrict, and my heart throbs painfully.

It’s alright, Rachelle, I tell myself, it’s almost over.

~~~

Everything goes dark and still. Is this the afterlife?

My eyes pop open, revealing the truth: I’m not dead, nor am I in my bathtub; rather I’m lying nude inside‌ a gigantic hourglass.

What in the actual hell? Where am I?

Surely, this is a dream or hallucination, right? People don’t get stuck inside hourglasses, especially not ones of this size.

Not to mention how gorgeous it is!

Most hourglasses have a wooden frame or case surrounding them, but not this one. It's curved, perfectly smooth, and sparkling with an almost ethereal glimmer.

Another strange thing is the location.

I’ve somehow teleported from my apartment bathroom to a realm outside of normal reality.

Why do I think that?

Oh, I have a list:

First, there’s no sound. Anywhere. At the very least there should be sounds of nature: wind blowing, water rushing, or something.

Second, there're no smells or movement of any kind. Same as sounds, there should be a scent or movement for everything.

Third, I was in my damn bathtub trying to escape from my crazy mother, then suddenly, I’m in God knows where!

The only things that come to mind are: this is purgatory. I’m being punished for trying to end my life or something.

Or maybe Mommy used a spell to banish me to hell, after threatening to do so for years.

While my mind spins with possibilities, golden sand steadily trickles down from above.

Oh God, now what’s going on?

~~~

I lie at the bottom of my elegant cage and watch the golden sand fall. Hypnotized by its gorgeous appearance.

Never in my life have I witnessed such beauty. Almost like a star was crushed and sprinkled about; floating around endlessly in an empty space.

As I admire the sand’s appearance, tears begin to form in my eyes.

Will I ever see something like this again? Or am I stuck here forever, trapped in the veil between life and death?

My heart sinks in my chest as I realize something: this is the first time that I stopped and just… watched anything.

Isn’t that sad?

Thirty-three years of existence, and I have never listened to the birds singing outside, smelled freshly blossomed flowers at the park, watched clouds on a warm day, or gone on a date with a guy.

All those things weren’t important to me.

The only thing that I cared about was time.

My stupid, obsessive routine dictated everything in my life, but didn’t allow me to live. To be a human being rather than a mindless cog in the machine of existence.

“Why?” I sob out loud, as if anyone would answer me. “Why did I waste my life like that?”

As if to answer my question, the golden sand suddenly stopped. And then the narrow spout above shattered, sending shards of glass everywhere.

Golden sand gushed out like a river, filling the hourglass at an alarming pace.

I jumped up, trying to dodge the onslaught of broken glass and the ever-rising golden sand.

“No, this isn’t fair!” I scream at the ceiling, choking on sand dust. “I didn’t ask to be here; I didn’t want this to happen!”

Not listening to my cries of disappointment, the sand rose even higher, pushing on my ribcage. I groan in pain as I try to move around. “Please stop! Stop!”

My legs lock up; feeling like dead weight, my ribs tighten, and my lungs constrict as the sand squeezes the oxygen from them.

Before losing consciousness, I croaked, “Help me…”

Everything fades to black.

In the distance, I swear I heard a faded voice say, “Clear!”

~~~

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, places, and incidents are fictitious and the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, organizations, or events are entirely coincidental.

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