Hillbilly Vampire

Table of Contents

Chapter Title Chapter

A Saturday Night 1

The Last Lap 2

The Plan 3

After the Picnic 4

The Hunt 5

Fishing at the Falls 6

The Demolition Derby 7

Getting Ready 8

Bitten 9

The Calm After the Storm 10

Adapting 11

The Big Day 12

The Truth 13

A Saturday Night

Chapter 1

The blue-grey smoke hung like a fog... almost like it had it's own spirit and soul, created and perpetuated by the stock cars spraying mud as they tore around the dirt track. “What a great night!”, said Jasper. “Next week is the demolition derby... I can't wait.”

It was a couple weeks before Halloween, and Jasper was at a small-town race track with his two best friends and his girlfriend.

“We're gonna stop by the “Last Lap” before we go home aren't we?”, said Morris.

“I don't know… it's gonna be pretty late, and I gotta be at Penny's house at 4:30 in the morning to milk the cows. Besides, you just want to see the new waitress anyway.

Morris grinned at Jasper, “Well… I would hate to break my record of seeing her everyday she has worked for the last ten days.”

“Why don't you just give up. She's outta your league anyway. Besides, she still can't tell us apart except for that silly grin you can't seem to wipe off anytime she's around. How can you talk with that smile stuck on your face. It's embarrassing.”, Morris's brother retorted.

“Just 'cuz you got a fancy girlfriend who works at the hospital, doesn't mean you should rub it in that I don't. She probably likes you 'cause you look like me anyway.”

Francis looked at Morris disdainfully.

Feeling bad for Morris, Jasper said, “Sure! Why not?”

“I gotta get home or my pa will be worried.”, said Penny. Penny's dad was a small-framed man who always seemed to be hunched over a little bit and wearing three times as many shirts and jackets that he ever needed. He didn't mind if the cuffs and collars were a little frayed. “Don't need to impress nobody!”, if someone brought it up. Olny went by his last name. “Don't need to get too friendly with folks.”, he'd always say. He was the kind of guy that kept his cards close to his chest. He did have one friend though… an old boar named Tug.

Now, Tug your wasn't ordinary wild boar. Sure he had tusks, wirebrush hair and stubby little legs that made him look like a giant black and gray boulder made out of jello when he ran… but he really had a heart of gold, and wouldn't hurt no one.

When he ran the most was when Penny's pa came home… or really anyone for that matter. You see… Olny kept some cheese-puffs on him. You know, the cheap kind? Tug loved 'em. Every once in awhile, some preacher people would show up and would start talking to Olny. Tug would walk up and goose one of the women with his snout. There would be all kinds of ruckus, and then Olny would explain that Grugg was just looking for a cheese-puff… and then he'd throw him one. He would just keep goosing people and tugging at their britches (he was too big and mean looking for anyone to yell at him). Olny would keep giving him cheese-puffs until the visitors would leave. Olny never saw any harm in it. Tug would just give them little tugs and nudges… well, most of the time. Days were usually spent with Olny and Tug sitting on the porch and eating pickled baloney, or sardines and crackers. Life didn't get much better than that.

When Penny got home, it was still pretty late. Sophie their cat wanted out, so Penny let her out. Jasper kissed Penny bye, (she always sat in the middle of his truck) and went to the Last Lap to catch up with Francis and Morris.

The Last Lap

Chapter 2

The races were almost done and Penny and Jasper had already left. Morris said, “I can't wait until Halloween weekend when they do the demolition derby with the buses!” Francis said to Morris, “You think we better go so we don't get stuck behind a bunch of cars on the way out?” “Yea… but can I drive?”, Morris chirped up quick. Francis said, “You always want to drive… she knows it's not your truck.” “Well… we don't know that for sure. You'd let me borrow it anyway if I needed it.”, said Morris. “Yea, well… you need to get a job so you can have your own truck, and quit living with Janice. I know she's our sister… but come on, enough is enough.

Morris didn't know what to say whenever Francis got on his soapbox. “Ok, ok… but can I drive?” “Why not...keep it around 50 miles an hour though, it's better on gas.”, said Francis.

The truck was a “1977, C10 Chevy, colored “Robin-Egg Blue”. The back window had broke, and they had just put in a slider window about a week ago. Around here, people believed in just fixing their trucks and passing them down to family instead of buying new ones. This one was complete with 55 gallon drum lids riveted to the floorboards and sheet-metal riveted outside over some of the holes. It had that old truck smell of oil, chewing tobacco and disintegrating plastic and vinyl.

It was pretty quiet in the truck on the way to the Last Lap. No one even turned on the radio. Morris knew Francis was right, but jobs didn't just grow on trees. The video store was a good job until it went out of business. Trying to break the silence without getting yelled at, Morris said, “You know...Halloween is coming up. We need to think of some new pranks to pull on people. April Fool's Day is the only other day we can get away with it, and that's not until spring.” Francis didn't speak. He felt he was getting a little too mature for pranks. “Aah… I don't think so this year. We've already dressed up Mrs. Clayborn's cow and painted the Sheriff's tires pink. There ain't much left to do...and they'd know who it was anyway.”, replied Francis. “Another dead end.”, thought Morris. “At least we're almost there.”

The Last Lap was a drive-up rootbeer place. The servers would come to your vehicle and you would have to lower your window so they could hook the tray to the window. What everyone would come for were the frosted mugs of rootbeer. In the wintertime, you could go inside where they had a video arcade set up. There was a jukebox and booths you could sit at also. There wasn't anything to do for miles around, so all the kids would hang out at the Last Lap, which prompted the owners to stay open late.

“Hi Audrey!”, said Morris. Audrey was from Tampa, Florida. She still hadn't lost her tan from being in the mountains.

“Hi Morris... I didn't think you'd make it tonight.”. Audrey's eyes seemed to stop time for Morris. He almost couldn't talk. That's why he always wanted to drive. It made him talk. The first four times he saw her he was on the passenger side and didn't say anything. “Could I get you anything?”, Audrey hypnotically said. “Four large root beers in a frosted mug please.”, said Morris. “How 'bout I put them in four separate mugs… sound good?”, replied Audrey. “Ugh, yeah... sounds great.”, said Morris. “She's pretty and smart!”, thought Morris.

Francis had about enough of this, and wanted to start talking about something else besides Audrey. If he didn't bring something up, Morris would have something to say about her… or ask some questions that Francis would have no way of knowing. The only reason he hadn't started yet was because he was still in shock.

Francis had to think fast. “Morris… I was thinking about your idea about a Halloween prank. Maybe we could pull a prank on Jasper for a change?”. It would be a safe bet playing a trick on Jasper. At least he wouldn't want to sue them or put them in jail. “ I don't know why Mrs. Clayborn got so mad about us painting her cow's hooves pink anyway.”, Francis thought.

“That wouldn't do no good. “,said Morris. “You both share the same house. We wouldn't be able to “TP” it or anything. What… did you want to stick a bread loaf pan with water above the bathroom door? It wouldn't hardly be worth it. Besides… that's more of a April Fool's joke anyway. Quick! Get that brown paper sack out of the glove-box for me… here come's Audrey!”

“Geez… what is this?”, said Francis. He pulled out a brown lunch-sack with oily spots all over it (especially towards the bottom).

“I knew you wouldn't let me bring it, so I snuck it in before we left. It's for Audrey.”, Morris replied.

“Good! As long as we get it out of here. If she don't take it, I'm throwing it away!”, Francis responded curtly, carefully handing it to Morris.

Audrey hooked the tray with the root beers to the window. Morris always gave her ten dollars and would let her keep the change. “Audrey… I brought you something.” Her eyes got big when he said it, but even bigger when he went to hand her the sack.

“Oookaay.”, said Audrey. She took the sack and looked inside.

“I remembered how you said you missed Florida, and boiled peanuts… so I made you some. I looked on the computer how to do it. I guess some of the oil got on the outside of the plastic baggie. I'm sorry.”, Morris said with big worried, hopeful eyes.

“Oh, you are a dear! Thank you so much! Some people wouldn't understand… it's an acquired taste. I'm gonna go get these put up for later. Thank you, Morris.” ,said Audrey.

“No problem… you're welcome.”, Morris answered with confidence. “I might not get a lot of things right, but at least I got this right.”, Morris thought.

Francis felt like he was gonna be sick. “Gimme that rootbeer so we can get out of here. I want to go home.”

“Ok, ok… here.”, said Morris handing him a mug. They both chugged down one mug and had half of their second mugs gone by the time Audrey came back to check on them. Morris hadn't went to the restroom before he left the racetrack, so now he was under a little pressure to leave. Francis could tell. “Why don't you just go inside and take care of it?”, said Francis. “Oh yeah, and leave you here with Audrey? It'll look funny me leaving just as soon as she shows up. No way!”, said Morris. “Suit yourself.”, said Francis.

Morris drank the rest of his rootbeer so they could go, thinking Francis would do the same … but no, Francis started milking the rest of his drink. By the time Morris realized the situation, it was too late. Audrey was standing in front of his door, so he couldn't just open it to go inside.

The night was unusually warm and the moon was getting full… kind of like Morris. Morris grabbed Francis's drink, put it on the tray and said goodbye to Audrey. Audrey's face was a little puzzled, but she just shrugged it off, told them thanks for coming and goodbye. Morris hated to leave like that, but it was an emergency!

After stopping at a gas station, Morris could think. “I know what you were doing… you were just trying to get us out of there.”, Morris hollered. “It worked, didn't it?”, said Francis. “You better call Jasper.” Morris called Jasper and told him that they had left already. That was fine with Jasper anyway. He said he would meet him at home said goodbye.

Another quiet trip in the truck. Morris was a little mad, but happy to have seen Audrey. Francis was a little full of himself for being so smart and for taking advantage of the situation. Francis was driving now, and Morris looked out the window. The bats were out eating mosquitoes around an old mercury light at some farmer's house. “It's funny how the light draws the bugs, and the bugs draw the bats who can't even see the light.”, thought Morris.

Francis dropped Morris off at Janice's. She wouldn't be home for awhile. She worked at the Last Lap with Audrey and was sure to let Morris know when Audrey started working there. When Francis got home, he found Jasper asleep on the couch. He usually fell asleep watching TV. Jasper always seemed to get the most out of each day and lived life at it's fullest.

Francis had his own company he had started, going to people's houses and splitting firewood. He started out when he was in junior high school with an ax, a sledgehammer and a steel wedge for the hard pieces. Now, he had moved up to having a log-splitter. Most of the people around would split it themselves or would buy their wood already split. Business was picking up though... customers would call and leave a message on his answering machine. The name of the company was “Bucky Beaver's Log Splitting Service”. He even had a logo made up with “BBLSS” on the top of the oval and a picture of a beaver chewing some wood at the bottom. Janice printed it out on some vinyl so Francis could stick it on the doors of his truck. She even made bumper stickers with the phone number, so he could leave them at the “Trading Post” and give them to customers. Francis's big dream was to have crews composed of a supervisor and a helper and send them out in the trucks to split and stack. Tomorrow was Sunday, so he had the day off. He liked to spend the afternoons with Wendy, his girlfriend. She worked at the hospital drawing blood and giving people cups to go the restroom in, for drug tests. You wouldn't think she would be very busy at night, but between regular patients, people who the cops brought in and people who had equipment accidents at the warehouses and factories on the night-shift… she had her hands full.

A Picnic

Chapter 3

Morris was up early… well early for him. He was still thinking about Audrey. Maybe he never stopped. He knew he was going crazy, but he couldn't help it. Janice was taking forever to get up. “I really don't want to clean the house.”, he told himself. “It's clean enough anyway.” Morris went out on the porch. The walls were closing in on him. The boiled peanuts went well, but what could he do next? He had to talk to Janice to get some more information. It was too soon to write Audrey a letter, but he felt like he was gonna bust. For some reason, he had already gotten up, took a shower, trimmed his beard and mustache and even changed his clothes. All of them! Not just the shirt because it had too many stains on it. He believed in saving water and laundry soap… you know, to help the world? That's what he told himself anyway. He just didn't have as many clothes to wash this way.

Morris had a great idea! What if he got Francis and Wendy to go on a picnic? He could ask Audrey to come! Whoooh… what a good idea! “Maybe Janice had Audrey for a contact on her phone? I couldn't just call her. I better ask Francis first to see if Wendy and him would want to go.”, quickly thought Morris.

Morris took no time in dialing up his number. The clock was moving so slow. “What do you want.” answered Francis on the phone. It was only 8:45, but Morris didn't want to wait until 9:00 to call.

“Ugh... I was just wondering...”

“You better talk or I'm hanging up!”

“Ok, ok, ok... please don't hang up. I got a favor to ask.”, said Morris. “Could you please go on a picnic with me?”

“What! I can't believe you're my brother! I can't believe you're in my life! I can't believe it's... ugh... not even 9 'o clock yet! You want to what?”, said Francis.

“Ugh... go on a picnic. Morris started talking fast, “Please, please... could you ask Wendy if she would want to come to the Falls. I got to ask Janice to get ahold of Audrey to see if she can come, but she's not up yet.”

“What makes you think Wendy is even up yet! You got to get it together. You're acting weird. I'll call you later. Don't call me! Good-bye.” , said Francis and hung up.

Morris sat there listening to the dial tone. His hand slowly dropped down to his leg as he stared off into space. “What is wrong with me?”, Morris asked. “What am I gonna do.” Then he thought, “I'll call Jasper! Him and Penny might want to go.” So with shaking hands... Morris dialed the phone. Francis had a way of getting him shook up, but it was more than that. “All this and what if Audrey didn't even want to go? I guess there won't be any trips to the Last Lap for awhile. It's ok… winter's comin' on anyway.”

“Jasper?”, Morris said sheepishly.

“What's up buddy?”, said Jasper.

“I was wondering if you and Penny might want to go on a picnic with Audrey and I ...you know the girl at the Last Lap?”, said Morris.

“Hold on a minute, I'll ask her.”, said Jasper. Jasper and Penny were done with the chores and milking the cows. Breakfast was over, and they were just sitting on the porch swing, wondering what to do today. “Penny said it sounds like fun. Let's say around 11:00 at the “Falls” ? We could make it like a pot-luck, just bring whatever... and we'll all share. Sound good?”

“Yeah?”, said Morris.

“Ok… good-bye then. This is going to be so much fun!”, said Jasper as he hung up.

This time, Morris just looked at the phone. “What did I do? Oh jeez… I'm dead, and I still got to talk to Janice.” Morris wanted to crawl in a hole. It's funny how when you're sitting... you can hear the clock tick on the wall. You don't hear it any other time except maybe when you're waiting to go in and see the principle in high school. Back then, you would get a swat with a paddle that had holes strategically drilled for maximum effectiveness. Even the teachers did it, but not like the principle. After the first trip to the principle's office, you didn't want to go back. That's what it was like right now. “Come on Janice... get up.”, thought Morris. It wouldn't help to get on her bad side by waking her up, so Morris decided to start making the picnic lunch.

Of course, there was gonna have to be some boiled peanuts. “I wonder if Jasper has ever had them?”, Morris asked himself as he was making them. “I don't even know what people from Florida like to eat. Maybe something kind of fishy. I could make salmon patties. Ugh... I doubt they even like them in Florida. I'll just make a meatloaf. That'll be nice.”

As Morris worked in the kitchen, time started to roll away. Janice got up, and walked out of her room in her housecoat. She didn't look the same without all her “Goth” accessories. She still had her netted choker on and she kind of had raccoon eyes. “What are you doing?”, she asked quietly.

“Oh, jeez... you scared me.”, said Morris with a jump. He'd seen her like this before, but had never really gotten used to it. He acted like he had just got caught stealing a chocolate rice treat. “What time is it?”

Janice looked at the clock, (which you could see from in the kitchen) and said, “...a quarter to ten.” , wondering what was up with her brother.

Morris rolled his eyes, and put his fingertips to his forehead and face with his left hand. “Janice, we've got to talk. I'm in a mess. Can you get ahold of Audrey?”

“Yea... what for?”, said Janice.

“Well... I would like to ask her to go on a picnic at the Falls today at 11:00. Jasper and Penny said they would come. My meatloaf is almost done. All I have left to make is my specialty… chocolate covered jerky squares for desert. I can't find the jerky. Are we out?

“Use the bacon instead, but you better hurry. I can't believe you...”, Janice said while rubbing her eyes; “ she might not even want to go.”

“Just try.”, said Morris.

Of course, Janice had her phone in the pocket of her housecoat. Morris was eavesdropping on every word. Janice didn't even have to dial in the number... she must have had Audrey on some kind of speed dial or something. Even though only a few seconds had gone by, Morris was frozen. “Audrey, when you get this, could you give me a call please. No hurry, thanks...bye.”

“Yes Janice! This is an emergency!”, Morris thought. “I better be quiet.”

“Sorry Morris, I tried. I'm gonna go take a shower.”, said Janice.

“Can you just wait a couple of minutes? She might call back.”, said Morris as he went to take the meatloaf out of the oven.

“You know, lack of preparation on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.”, Janice slowly informed Morris. Every passing second with Janice was like torture. Her and Francis were so much alike.

“Yes, yes... ok, please wait.”, said Morris.

Janice went and sat on the couch and was checking her phone, when it chirped a couple of times like someone was trying to call her. “Wasn't she going to answer it? She's doing this on purpose … aaaggghhh!”, thought Morris.

“Oh, hi Audrey … nothing much. I know he's my brother, but would you like to meet him, Jasper and Penny at the Falls for a picnic? Yeah, Morris... not Francis. Ok, I'll tell him. Thanks for calling back, bye.”

The silence was thick. She knew he wanted to know, she just wanted him to ask. He wasn't gonna... but he couldn't stand it no more. No one can torture you like family. “Janice... please, what'd she say?

Checking her phone, Janice without looking up informed Morris that Audrey would love to go, but didn't know where the Falls were and that he'd have to call her and tell her. “Why didn't Janice just tell her?”, thought Morris. “I can't talk on the phone. This is too much all at once.” Morris got Audrey's phone number and was gonna text her the directions, but felt guilty... so he dialed her number.

“Hi?”, said Morris.

“Hello.”, said Audrey.

“Thank you for talking with Janice, and thank you for saying that you'll come.”, said Morris.

“No problem. It's gonna be getting cold soon, and I don't think we have many more days of “Indian Summer” left. What would you like me to bring?”, said Audrey.

“Just yourself. It's gonna be a pot-luck, so if you want to bring something you can. I'll send you the location. It's a nice place. They got bathrooms, and places to fish if you want to bring a pole. There's lots of snags, so you might have to use a bobber. The big ones are on the bottom.”

Well... I hate to admit it, but I do like to fish. I grew up crappie fishing, with the occasional catfish grabbing on. I hear there's walleye around here. I've really been looking for a place to fish, but I just haven't had time.

“Man... this girl is great!”, mused Morris. God must have pulled out all the stops when He made her! What could he say, he was speechless. Audrey thought maybe she had scared him off a little by talking so much about fishing.

Breaking the silence... Audrey said, “Do you have any bait?”

Morris quickly thought, “No, just some bee moths for bluegill.”

“I can pick up some night crawlers, if you like?”, said Audrey.

“That would be great.”, said Morris. “I can't wait! I'm gonna go now, ok? Bye.”

“Good-bye.”, said Audrey.

Morris completely forgot. How was he going to get there? He could have asked Jasper and Penny for a ride, or even Audrey (even though he wouldn't have wanted to do that). Ugh... Janice was his only option. Not again. If Morris never had to ever ask her for anything ever again... it would be too soon.

“Go ahead.”, said Janice.

“What?”, said Morris.

“Go ahead and use the car. I knew you were going to ask.” Janice was too tired to play games anymore...even one of her most favorite ones. “I'm taking a shower now.”

“Thanks Janice.” She did feel bad for him. It was good to see him motivated about something. Maybe a girl in his life was just what the doctor ordered.

He got the food in the car. The car was a 1987 Monte Carlo painted black with a little red stripe going around the car about as high as the bottom of one of the car doors. It had T-Tops and a black interior. It was Janice's baby. Morris put the food in the trunk, in case anything spilled.

When he got to the Falls, Jasper, Penny and Audrey were already there. He was so glad. He really was running late, but this made it easier to break the ice with Audrey. They already had their stuff on the picnic table, so Morris grabbed his food and set it down. Finally, a nice controlled environment. Morris began to relax a little. Audrey was already fishing and Jasper and Penny were setting up the table. The park site had grills that you could cook on, but no one brought hamburgers or hot dogs this time.

Morris forgot his tackle box and fishing pole. He shook his head when he saw Audrey. How could he have forgotten! He walked over to her and said, “Hi.”

“Hi Morris! Where's your pole?”, she said with a “happy-to-be-alive” tone in her voice.

“I forgot it. This is my first picnic I've helped cook for.”, said Morris.

“Oh... so this was your idea? No problem.”, said Audrey. You can use my other pole.” The one she was using had a bobber, and her other pole was fishing on the bottom with a night crawler for the big ones. “I was trying both ways to find out where they were biting. I thought I might be a little late because I had to get my fishing license, but you can get them online easy.”

Morris was thoroughly impressed. There was a slight wind which made it a little bit chilly, but it was sunny… and he was standing next to Audrey. There was just something about hearing running water that makes you forget about all the cares that bother you daily. The little light flickers on the water made Morris imagine if the river had scales like a fish.

Va-room! Va-room! “What was that!”, thought Morris. He turned around and saw the familiar robin-egg blue truck of Francis's busting up the silence. He was doing it on purpose! Morris looked and saw Francis with a big grin on his face. Now he wished he wouldn't have called him. A person don't need any family around when it comes to love. Morris couldn't believe he actually even thought the word...love. He had given up on the subject, and had settled in his mind that no one would ever be interested in him. He'd have been happy to have a girl be his girlfriend even if all she wanted to do is use him. Since he didn't have a job, not even the bad ones wanted him. Morris figured it was time to face the music, so he asked Audrey if she was ready to check on the others. She said, “Sure!”, and they left their poles there because the picnic table wasn't that far away.

“Ready to eat?”. Said Jasper. Everyone sat down. Audrey had brought a fruit salad with cream cheese and marshmallow fluff mixed in it. Jasper and Penny had brought some hot chocolate and fried eggplant. Francis and Wendy had brought some corn dog brats, which was Francis's specialty.

“You even put the ketchup and brown sugar on top of the meatloaf. Without it, you might as well be eating a plain hamburger without a bun.”, said Francis. “I like to cut my meatloaf into cubes almost, so the sauce can get down into the cracks.” Morris just looked at him.

Sensing the tension, Jasper mentioned the demolition derby coming up with the grand finale involving the buses. Everyone ate well, and then Jasper asked if Penny and him could try out the fishing poles. Audrey said,“No problem... go ahead. She wanted to visit and find out more about Morris anyway. Francis was funny. He didn't hold back any of his comments, and seemed to be relishing the moment... watching Morris squirm. Beating Francis to the punch, Morris said, “Well Francis, if we are gonna play a trick on Jasper for Halloween, we better get it figured out.”

Francis was quiet, thinking while Wendy explained to Audrey how the boys liked to pull pranks every year. Francis said, “We could cut down an old bass tree and make a big wooden arrow out of it. Then you soak the head of it in water for a couple days and then take the bucket loader and smash the head of the arrow and leave it there until it dries. Olny let's Jasper drive his old Ford, so at night...we sneak over, roll down the windows of the truck and put the arrow through the window holes. If we get it wet, the arrowhead will swell back up to it's original size. He'll have to get a chainsaw to get it out.”

“Too much work.”, said Morris. “Besides, I'm not sneaking around Olny's place at night. He don't like banks or nobody. He's probably got booby-traps all over the place! He ain't got nothin' better to do all day than to come up with more traps. He's just waitin' for someone to try them out on.”

“Your right, but Jasper's hard to play a joke on.”, said Francis. “He's got his whole life tied up into a neat little bundle. He works at his girlfriend's farm. Olny let's him use the truck. They always feed him, and they only got ten cows! He's probably figuring on taking over the farm anyway.”

“I have an idea! What if we tricked him into thinking he's a vampire?” , said Wendy.

“Yeah, right... how are we gonna do that.” , said Francis.

“Well… first thing you got to do, is catch a bat. Turn the bat loose in the house… and when it's flying around, taze him on the neck when he's sleeping. He always falls asleep on the couch. It'll leave two marks that will look like a vampire bite.”, said Wendy. Audrey was starting to wonder what kind of people had she gotten mixed up with.

“I think that'll work.”, said Francis.

Jasper and Penny were enjoying the day. They were trying out Jasper's favorite fishing spot at the Falls. “They're just not biting are they?”, said Jasper.

“That's ok.”, said Penny. It's nice to get out and get some fresh air, anyway. Have you ever wondered what we'll be doing ten years from now?”

Jasper not knowing what to say, just looked at her...thinking, “We're doing it.” Penny wanted an answer. Jasper could tell. “We could go on a trip?”, said Jasper.

That was not the answer Penny was looking for. Jasper's tall frame just kinda sunk at the shoulders. “What more was there to life?”, he thought.

Penny asked him again, trying to clarify, “We need a direction. There's more to life than just milking cows. I've lived this life growing up. I don't want to spend growing old the same way. I want to be fair to you and tell you how I feel. I will go nuts, if I live the rest of my life this way.”

Now, Jasper was totally speechless. Everything seemed to be going from bad to worse, just because he seemed to be a bystander in this conversation...and it was starting to drive Penny up a wall. With no response from Jasper… Penny said, “I think I'm ready to go home now.”

Jasper didn't understand it. Sure they had little fights before, like what to eat or what show to watch... but never like this. He didn't know what to say, so he said, “OK.” His answer seemed to bug her even more. “What just happened?”, thought Jasper. It was a quiet walk back to the picnic table. Putting on a good face, Jasper said that they were going to be leaving. Morris thanked them for coming and everyone decided it was about time to go. Wendy and Audrey still had to get ready for work anyway. Morris looked at Audrey, thankful for the time they had spent and wished it wasn't over so soon.

Everyone went home… well, sort of. When Jasper and Penny got in the truck, Penny said, “I want to drop you off at your house, and take the truck home.” Things were changing... changing to fast for Jasper. “Ok.”, said Jasper. Penny dropped him off and went home... with the truck. How could she make him understand. “He's just an overgrown child!”, she thought. “He'll never change.” The problem was… she knew that was one of the reasons she was in love with him.

The Plan

Chapter 3

Francis knew that Morris would be taking Janice's car straight home, so he drove there to catch up with him. Sure enough, the car was in the driveway... backed in, just how Janice liked it. Francis went up and knocked at the door. Morris answered. He was on cloud nine. “I hope Audrey had a good time.”, Morris told Francis. “How could she not, with me around. I saved you.”, said Francis.

“Well, it was really Jasper and Penny that came to my rescue. Don't you remember when you told me not to call you?”

“I felt bad... so I came. What are we gonna do about Jasper?” , said Francis.

“Remember that farmhouse that I saw the bats at on the way to the Last Lap last night? Maybe we could catch a bat there?”, Morris answered, and said... “We still got to find a taser.”

Since Francis was the only one with money, he knew finding the taser his department. He looked on his phone at some different kinds. There was you're standard box type… a gun that shot out a barb (too rough), a cane with a taser on the end which was really cool… but the best one was this taser built into a cell phone case. It was black and made by some tactical gear company. There were flat angled corners on both ends with tiny rivets and screws holding it together. Two stainless steel prods stuck out on the top of the case, tapered in a little bit. It had a protective rubber guard that went over the prongs for safety. It looked devastating! He could always give it to Wendy when they were done with it. Morris went ahead and ordered it. They needed it now… but next day shipping was too much, so he got the standard two-day shipping.

Morris didn't really care. He was too busy thinking about Audrey. His head was still spinning. What was he going to do? He had no job, no truck and no money… and really no desire to get any until now. He was gonna have to think of something.

After The Picnic

Chapter 4

“Now what am I gonna do?”, Jasper asked himself. “How am I gonna get to work? I guess I could ask Francis when he gets home.” Jasper thought about what had happened at the picnic, but didn't come up with any solutions or a reason why for that matter. “It wouldn't do any good to give Penny a call. Better just let her calm down a little. She'll be alright. She did make a good point… what was in store for the rest of their lives?” Jasper hadn't really thought about it before. When Francis came home, he told Jasper that he would take him to work. Jasper had to be there at 6:00 the evening and at 4:30 in the morning. The cows were like clockwork. When it came time to be milked … they would start walking to the barn from the pasture, and each one would stand in their own stanchion. When Jasper got to work that evening… Penny never came out. Francis waited in the truck. Francis knew something was up... but didn't ask. After the cows were milked, the boys went home.

When Audrey got home, she checked in on her Aunt Chelsie. Aunt Chelsie had a scooter she got around in, so Audrey moved in with her to help out. Even though she couldn't get around very well, Aunt Chelsie made up for it in attitude. No one ever got over on her. She was a horse trader from way back. Something she would do to help her arthritis in her arms, was to wear socks with the toes cut out on her forearms. The house was two-story with old blue paint and a little porch on the side. When you walked inside, there was stuff everywhere stacked up. Aunt Chelsie was famous in the family for making quilts. The quilts were almost always made of wild different colors with yarn sewed in a loop in each square to keep it together. She used pieces from her old clothes that she had worn out. There might be a bunch of bright blue squares from some nylon slacks she had, or maybe some calico squares from a blouse. What made her quilts exceptional, was the fact that she would use Army blankets for the filler instead of that fluffy stuff they sell at the store. “When you grab a quilt, and put it over your lap... it should feel like you got something on your legs.”, she would say. She would keep her house pretty cold in the winter to save on fuel. Audrey never quite got used to it, coming from Florida. Aunt Chelsie did turn up the thermostat a little for her.

“I found a new place to fish today Aunt Chelsie.”, said Audrey. “It looks like a place we can take the scooter.” Aunt Chelsie loved to fish, but kind of given up on going since she had gotten the motorized chair. Her eyes lit up when Audrey told her. Aunt Chelsie had a senior fishing license. Normally, she would catch enough fish to last through the winter until she could go fishing again when it got warmer. Audrey remembered when she was younger … helping Aunt Chelsie clean and fillet the fish they had caught. Next, they would take the fillets and put them in baggies with water. Into the freezer they would go until it was time to cook them. Smoked fish was another favorite of Aunt Chelsies. She had an old refrigerator out back with the motor and stuff taken out of the bottom, with a stove-pipe coming out of the top of it. You put the smokey fire in a pit, dug out under the fridge. It really hurt her when she had to give up fishing.

Audrey offered to make some dinner, but Aunt Chelsie was happy with her bread and milk. Ever since she had lost her teeth, she would rip up bread, put it in a jar and pour some milk over it. She said it was something she would eat as a kid. Audrey hardly ever seen her eat anything else besides fish. “Tuna sandwich coming up!” ,said Audrey. “You can't just eat bread and milk all the time.” It was good Audrey was around. After Audrey made the sandwich (and cut it into little squares the way Aunt Chelsie liked them), she got ready for work.

Thinking about Morris… Audrey wondered if he would show up tonight. There was a certain art to having the boys chase the girls. It was tempting to call Morris but Audrey was sticking her guns and holding her horses.

After Francis had left, Morris was thinking about you-know-who... Audrey. Morris didn't let Janice know about the trick on Jasper that Francis, Wendy, Audrey and him had talked about. She was too busy watching reruns on TV of her favorite vampire soap opera. Morris had no interest in vampires or soap operas. “It's her house. She can watch what she wants.”, is what he told himself even though if it ever came up, that's what she would tell him. Janice loved to read any stories about vampires in love... with a splash of werewolves lopped in for good measure. The werewolves were usually the bad guys.

New problem... how was he going to see Audrey tonight. He could ride into work with Janice, but she seemed to be in a mood. “I know!”, thought Morris. “We still got to catch a bat! I'll call up Francis and tell him we need to go “bat-hunting. When we're done, it wouldn't hurt to stop over at the Last Lap.” That's what Morris did, and Francis liked the idea. Maybe it would be easier to catch one during the day when they were sleeping.

The Hunt

Chapter 5

Francis and Morris pulled up to the old farmer's house that they had drivin' by the night before. They got out of the truck and hollered, “Hello? Is anyone there?” The farmer was sittin' in the shade with his dog Skippy. Skippy was some kind of poodle-terrier mix. Every once in awhile, the farmer would throw this rubber ball and Skippy would bring it back to him. Other than that, the old farmer would just sit there in one of those big metal chairs that would spring back and forth if you bounced a little bit. He never did... he would just sit in it and twiddle his thumbs. You might not know what it means to twiddle your thumbs. It's when you put your hands together and slowly roll one thumb over the other. That's what this farmer would do... and watch the traffic drive by. He'd seen the boys' truck before, rip roaring down the road in front of his house. He figured they weren't no trouble.

“I'm over here!”, hollered the farmer. When the boys got to him, they said they had seen some bats at night catchin' bugs around his mercury light and wondered if they could try to catch one. The farmer said, “Go ahead and try. They seem to be coming out of the barn.” Skippy just looked at them. He was a good dog.

Francis and Morris went into the barn. It was old. There were rusty milk stanchions and piles of hay that had laid there for so long, that gravity had pulled them down into clumps. The smell made you walk slow and look around. There were also a couple of petrified cow patties that you had to walk around. An old truck was parked in the middle. This was the kind of place you would love to explore and play in when you were a kid. It was still cool to Francis and Morris anyway.

“We gotta try to find the ladder into the hayloft.”, said Morris. Stepping over and around stuff … the boys found it. The ladder was made up of boards nailed to the wall inbetween the two by fours with a hole cut out of the ceiling to climb through. Upstairs, there was a big pile of hay bales, stacked up that had the same look as the clumps of hay downstairs. They were kind of rounded on the ends if there wasn't another hay bale next to it. There was all kinds of dried bird manure on the floor and on the hay bales.

The boys were quiet. This was the kind of place that just seemed to command silence. When you walked... you made the only noise, which made you seem louder than what you were. With the flashlights, it looked like there was some things between one of the big posts up high towards the front of the barn. “How are we going to get up there?”, Morris said. “Well, we can either stack up some hay bales and get the ladder from downstairs and lean it against the roof, or we can use the hay pulley.”, said Francis. They hay pulley was a contraption that had wheels that would let it roll on a long rail that was mounted in the very peak of the ceiling. Morris and Francis were probably both at least fifty pounds overweight and they didn't much like the idea of having a rope tied on and lifted up. Neither one wanted to have to lift the other one either. “Let's try the ladder.”, said Morris.

Morris started stacking hay bales and Francis went downstairs to get the ladder. When Francis found it, he took it outside to lean it up against the barn where the doors were to the hayloft. “AAAHHHGGGG!”, screamed Morris. “What!”, said Francis as he leaned the ladder against the barn. “A snake!”, yelled Morris. Francis wasn't too sure about the ladder being safe, but as quickly as he could... he carefully climbed the ladder into the hay loft. “I'm coming... I'm coming!”,said Francis. Morris was frozen, keeping both eyes on the black snake that was coiled up in the hay.

“I'm not doing it! Let's call the whole thing off!”, said Morris who was super scared of snakes. “It's just a black snake. They're not poisonous and they get rid of the rats and mice. The farmers like them around. We can't kill it or we'll get in trouble.”, said Francis. This snake was big... at least five feet long. “I'm not going nowhere near that hay! You can forget it! I don't even want to be in this barn!”, said Morris. Francis looked at Morris. “I already ordered the taser... we've got to do this.”, said Francis.

The barn seemed to be even more quiet as the two boys looked at each other. “I guess it's the hay pulley then, but I'm not going up. You're the one who's making us change plans.”, said Francis. “Ok.”, said Morris. Francis got the good idea that if they tied a bunch of hay bales to one end of the rope, he could just shove it out of the hayloft, and Morris would go up. Francis like the idea... Morris didn't. They floor of the hayloft didn't cover the whole hayloft. Part of it was open to drop hay and straw down for the animals years ago. That was the area that Francis was thinking about shoving the hay down. As they tied Morris to the rope… he was looking more scared. He had just gotten over finding the black snake. “How many hay bales do you think we'll need?”, said Francis, trying to let Morris feel included in the scheme... all the while, the farmer watched from his chair through the hayloft doors. This was the most excitement he had seen in awhile. “I don't know, four or five maybe?”, said Morris. “We better try six... we want to make sure.”, said Francis. Francis couldn't believe it. This was a dream come true. What were brothers for. “Back up to take the slack out so the rope doesn't jerk you.”, said Francis. Morris backed up, not liking the idea even more. The moment of truth... Francis looked at Morris right before the final shove, and smiled. Morris's eyes got bigger than they already were and up into the air he went, fast... swinging back and forth like some kind of wrecking ball. He screamed again, and again! At about the fourth scream, his swinging started slowing down.

An extra rope was tied to Morris that was just hanging down. Francis tied a hay hook to it. A hay hook is like a “Captain Hook” hand with a handle on the other end. It looked like the letter “T” with a letter “J” on the bottom. Morris pulled the hay hook up, and tried to swing it over to the rafter next to the wall by the bats. After a few tries, he got it over the rafter. The hay hook was heavy enough that when Morris wiggled the rope, the hay hook dropped down where Francis could grab it. “Are you ready?”, said Francis. Morris already had some gloves on and pulled out a pillowcase he had tucked behind the front of his bib overalls. “This is crazy!”, thought Morris. If he didn't have to go to the restroom before … he sure had to go now. “Hurry up!” Francis pulled the rope and Morris moved toward the bats. He would get pulled about a foot, and then would swing... then another foot until he finally got up real close and personal. A little too close for Morris as he switched on the camping light on his head. It was hard to get his head right so that the light would shine on the bats. Sure enough, they were there... all huddled up like furry leeches. Goll'... Morris didn't like this one little bit. He took the pillowcase, opened it up... and held it with one hand under the bats and started to skooch a bat off the wood. They all started moving, and Morris started screaming. He couldn't help it! One did fall into the bag and Morris yelled, “Get me out a here!!” Francis didn't see the harm in letting him hang awhile, so he watched him scream and kick his legs. “Are you sure you got one?”, said Francis in a see-song voice. Morris yelled again… “Yes, yes… yes!”, so Francis untied the hay-hook and let go of the rope. Morris swung back to the middle of the barn… still up high in the air. Feeling a little better, Morris tied the pillowcase and dropped it down to Francis. Francis moved the pillowcase out of the way and thought about how he would get Morris down. There were a couple options, but he felt like Morris had went through enough... so he tried to lift up on the rope that was tied to the hay bales. It worked, and Morris came down slowly. When he was finally standing in the hayloft, Morris's shaky legs carried him over to the ladder out of the hayloft. The boys thanked the farmer (who had a smile on his face), and got in the truck. “Francis, could we stop by the Last Lap before you drop me off at home?”, said Morris. Francis let Morris drive, and they went to the Last Lap, (after stopping at the gas station first).

“Audrey, I was wondering if you would like to go fishing tomorrow at the Falls again, around 11 o'clock? I could ask Jasper and Penny if they would like to come if you like?”, asked Morris as they were getting their rootbeers. “Sure. Would it be okay if I brought my Aunt Chelsie? It would really make her day.”, said Audrey. Morris replied, “No problem. I can grab an extra pole.” “She has her own, but thanks anyway.”, said Audrey. Francis and Morris finished their mugs, and then Francis dropped Morris off at home. When Morris got home, he called Jasper to see if Penny and him would like to go fishing. Jasper said he didn't know and would have to talk to Penny. A little while later, Jasper called and said all was good for tomorrow. Morris was relieved.

Fishing at the Falls

Chapter 6

Penny still had a soft spot for Jasper and had agreed to go fishing with him. When Francis had brought him to work in the morning, they had talked a little bit. Everything seemed to be looking up to Jasper, but to Penny… everything was in a holding pattern still. Really, she was going fishing for Morris. Audrey meant a lot to him, and Penny was willing to help all she could. Besides… she never really got to know her much at the picnic, and Penny didn't want Audrey to think she was overly moody.

At the Falls, Audrey and her Aunt were already there. Morris rode with Jasper and Penny. “This is becoming more nuts.”, thought Jasper, when Penny asked Morris to scoot in the middle. She was sure to pick up Morris first. The trip was quiet, and Jasper and Morris were glad to get there … so they could get out of the truck! The group grabbed their poles, and went to join Audrey and her Aunt. Introductions were made, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Aunt Chelsie mentioned how glad she was to come, and how hard it has been to get out because of her scooter. The fishing wasn't bad, and everyone gave their fish to Aunt Chelsie.

On the way home, Jasper mentioned to Penny that it might be nice to take Aunt Chelsie out on the lake fishing in Penny's dad's pontoon. Morris jumped in, “We could get one of those aluminum diamond plates (around four foot wide by four foot long), and use it for a ramp onto the pontoon. We would have to flip it over to the smooth side though.” Penny liked the idea. “We could ratchet-strap her scooter to the floor so she wouldn't roll around.”, said Jasper. Wendy said she would talk to her pa about it.

The pontoon was docked at the marina. It was pretty cool. Olny had it decked out. It had a roof and clear vinyl sides. One corner was set up so you could drop curtains to be able to go to the restroom in private. There was a little propane stove and a counter for cooking.

The lake hardly froze, and he would take it out when most of all the other fisherman had quit for the season, because it was too cold. There was a propane heater to keep you warm and he would fish off the back. When he dropped the anchor off the front. The wind would spin you around. The front and the sides had the vinyl curtains dropped, so with the heater … it was toasty warm fishing off the back. If it got too cold, the curtain on the back was dropped down and a trap door was opened in the floor to fish out of. He called it, “Hillbilly Ice-fishing”. Olny liked fishing… but he liked decking things out better. He was always coming up with ideas on how to change and fix stuff up.

The Demolition Derby

Chapter 7

The next day… the taser came in. Francis put it in the glove box so no one would see it. Morris was visiting Audrey at the Last Lap. He had asked Audrey to come to the races with him, so she met him there. Audrey had the night off, even though Saturday nights were good for tips. Jasper and Francis had ridden together and Audrey asked Morris if he wanted to ride with her. He said yes, and she had picked him up.

Everyone got in their vehicles, and went to the races. Penny had cooled down, but she was still driving the truck. She said she would meet them there. First they had the regular demolition derby, and some one won it who was backing into everyone with a station wagon. It was cool, but not as cool as the buses. It was like two giant rhinos doing battle except they were backing into each other. One guy didn't care. He had a semi-truck bumper on the front of his bus. He liked to go to the edge, get a running start and slam into the middle of a bus on the other side of the arena. He was the one everyone was watching. He ended up winning. He must have done it before. It was cool.

“Have you done anymore thinking?”, Penny asked. Jasper was almost too scared to talk… but he remembered how far that had gotten him last time. “Yes, I have.”, said Jasper without even thinking. “I want to help people, I just haven't figured out how yet.” “Well, that's a start.”, thought Penny. “If you have any ideas, let me know.”, said Jasper. Penny couldn't think of anything, but it was good to be talking with Jasper again. “Nachos please.”, said Jasper. They both had walked to the concession stand, which was good because tonight was the big night when Francis and Morris were gonna play their joke on Jasper. They needed more time to plan.

“So, vampires can't go in the daylight, eat garlic, or see themselves in a mirror. They like to drink blood. Anything else?”, said Morris. “That's about it... ” said Wendy. Wendy had the night off too. “except they are supposed to be super strong.” Jumping on to the bandwagon... Audrey said,” I don't think they eat any food except for blood. My Aunt Chelsie has some “Oil of Oregano”, that just simply tastes awful. She uses it to keep from getting sick. You could sprinkle it on anything Jasper eats or drinks, that way he'd have to drink the blood.” “What could we use for blood though?”, asked Francis. Wendy said, “We could make up some egg nog, color it red … and I could get some blood bags from work to put it in.”. “Great idea!”, said Francis. “Next, we could print up a picture of the livingroom on Janice's vinyl printer and stick it to one of those cheap tall mirrors. That way when he sees himself, all he'll see is a reflection of the livingroom. Morris, you'll have to do that. Don't let Janice catch you or she'll be mad. She don't like anyone touching her stuff.” “Got it... what about the sun?”, said Morris. “I've got this pimple cream that I quit using because whenever I went into the sun with it, I got rashes and blisters”, said Audrey. Morris, you could come by the Last Lap tomorrow and pick it up with the oil of oregano.” Morris loved any reason to visit Audrey if not just hearing her voice asking him. “Sure!”, said Morris. “We got our work cut out for us... but it'll be worth it if it all works out.” Everyone nodded their head in agreement and smiled.

When Penny and Jasper got back to their seats, Jasper asked Penny about using the pontoon. Penny said that they could use it anytime. Her dad was fine with the idea, and that he would like to go too. Olny had thrown one of those big aluminum plates in the back of the truck for them to use. He had all kinds of stuff in his workshop and laying around the farm. I think it was from an old truck bed. He had even thrown in some ratchet straps and some metal “O-rings” they could bolt to the floor.

Morris and Audrey were excited, and asked if they could start working on it tomorrow. Nothing was going on, 'cause it was Sunday... so Jasper and Penny agreed it sounded like a good idea. They all planned to meet at the marina around 11 o'clock. Audrey said she would bring Aunt Chelsie so they could check everything with her scooter. If there was a problem … they would call Jasper and Penny to let them know.

Getting Ready

Chapter 8

Penny took Jasper home, but kept the truck. She loved him and knew that he loved her, but the prospect of a dead-end life kept gnawing at her. She wanted more… and couldn't help it. When she got home, she told her dad about everyone showing up the next day at the marina, and asked if he wanted to come. Olny had been hoping she would ask... he just didn't want to intrude in her life without being invited.

Nonchalantly, he said he would go...and then went out to the workshop and got some long bolts, washers and a drill to fasten the o-rings to the floor. Next, he grabbed some hinges and then fastened them to the dock plate so it would be ready to mount to the pontoon. He even grabbed an electric winch and a pulley to hook to the dock plate to raise and lower it. He lived for projects like this where he had to think on his feet.

Wendy followed Audrey home and picked up the oil of oregano to spice the food, and the pimple cream for Jasper. Next she went to pick up the blood bags from work. If she hurried, she could make it to Morris and Janice's place before the boys left for Francis's place.

Meanwhile… Francis and Morris stopped at Morris's house to get the bat and to fix up the mirror. Janice wasn't home yet, so the boys tried to figure out the mirror. It wasn't working just putting the print on the mirror. It didn't look right. “Maybe if we just stick the print in a picture frame?”, said Francis. They took down an old picture and tried it, and it was just the ticket. It looked great! The clear glass in the front gave the picture just enough depth to make it work. Wendy stopped by and dropped off the oil of oregano and the pimple cream. She wasn't going to make the eggnog until the next day. Morris put the pimple cream in a suntan lotion bottle. Everything was ready... time to go.

Bitten

Chapter 9

Before the boys went into the house… Francis grabbed the taser out of the glove box. The TV was on and Jasper was asleep on the couch like usual. Quietly, Francis hung up the mirrors. They had made two of them so they could hang one in the bathroom. At first... Francis didn't know for sure where they were going to hang it, so he took pictures all over. Morris was holding the bag with the bat in it while Francis took down the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and hung up one of the mirrors. He then hung the other one in the livingroom. Francis put the “suntan” lotion on the sink in the bathroom after he hung the mirror. It was one of those big white cast iron sinks that has the big pedestal in the middle holding it up. Lastly, the boys spiked some of the food in the refrigerator by spraying it with the oil of oregano. It was a shame to ruin a plate of bacon and the corn dogs in the freezer. They even sprayed the corn chips in the bag. The oil of oregano came in a small dark bottle with an eyedropper hooked to the cap. They had changed it with an eyeglass cleaner bottle back at Morris's house, (after they had cleaned and blow-dried out first). It really spayed good! A nice mist.

Francis pulled out the taser, and Morris was holding the bag. They couldn't think of anything they had forgotten. With raised eyebrows... they looked at each other, double checking the list in their minds. Stop now? It wasn't too late...then Francis smiled. Morris smiled too. Francis nodded his head for the go ahead and to let the bat out of the bag as he stood along the back of the couch. The couch was running parallel to the wall just down from the front door. Morris tipped the pillowcase on the coffee-table and gently jerked the corners of the closed-end. The bat slid out on the coffee-table and just kind of laid there. Francis was ready with the taser, so he wasn't going to move. The bat freaked Morris out. He didn't really want to be within 10 feet of it... but he grabbed an envelope and started to nudge it. He knew it was alive … or at least he thought so. “Why wouldn't it be?”, thought Morris. Like the crack of lightning, the bat jumped up while Morris was looking down investigating it's condition. Morris's head flew back, but not before the bat caught inside the bill of his hat. Rocking backwards, Morris screamed with his eyes wide open... staring down his new buddy. Francis thought, “Now's my chance!”. He reached down, stuck the prongs of the taser on Jasper's neck... and squeezed the phone. “ZZZZZZzzzzzziiiiTttt!!”, went the taser on Jasper's neck!!! Francis ducked down behind the couch and crawled on his knees over by Morris. Morris's legs and arms were moving in and out so fast, he was almost like a blur to Francis. If so much wasn't going on… Francis would have laughed. By now, the bat was air-born, and Jasper was as stiff as a board with little shakes in his hands, feet and head. Morris was on his feet, hunched over and ducking when the bat would fly by... letting out loud intermittent screams when it would get close. Francis was on his feet now, and couldn't help laughing watching Morris. Grabbing the broom, he started to shoo the bat around. The bathroom and bedroom doors were shut, so they didn't have to worry about the bat getting out of the livingroom and the kitchen. “Morris... get the door!”, yelled Francis. The good news was that Jasper had unpetrified, and was sitting up watching what was going on... the bad news was that he had kind of went to the restroom in his pants. No one knew that could happen. Hunched over… Morris got the door open and then got out of the way. Francis was waving the broom while Morris was waving his arms (ducking occasionally). They both were yelling at the bat saying, “Yaaaah! Yaaaah!” like they were herding some cattle. They didn't know if bats could hear or not, but it made them feel better. Like a black golf ball ricocheting around the livingroom, the bat shot out the doorway once it was headed in the right direction.

Everyone's nerves were on edge. Francis sat in the easy chair while Morris sat on the couch next to Jasper. Jasper hadn't moved since he sat up except for rubbing his neck where he had been tased.

The Calm After the Storm

Chapter 10

It was quiet with everyone sitting there. Francis spoke up first. “I wonder how it got in here?” “I don't know.”, said Morris. “My neck hurts.”, said Jasper. He was in bad shape. “Here... let me look.”, said Morris. It did look bad. There were two dots on his neck that almost looked like burns. Morris liked a good practical joke, but not when it comes to hurting people. This was crossing the line. Morris felt really bad for Jasper. “Oooooogh...”, said Morris empathically. Francis got up from the chair and walked over to Jasper to take a look. When he saw what had happened, he felt so bad that he almost told Jasper what had really happened and that he was sorry... so sorry. Neither one of them had ever seen what a taser could do. Francis was thinking quick. “Might as well go through with it... the damage is already done”, resolved Francis in his mind.

“Strange... you got two dots on your neck. Let me get a mirror for you.”, said Francis. Francis went over and got the medicine cabinet to show Jasper with. “You took down the medicine cabinet?”, said Jasper weakly. Francis replied, “Yeah, that thing is from the '50's. I hung a different, more modern one up instead. I even stuck one up in the livingroom.” “I don't know if I like that.”, said Jasper. When Jasper looked at his neck, he gingerly touched his “hurt” spot with his fingers. Trying not to sound forced, Morris said, “Mmmmmm... those two spots look funny. They almost look like a vampire bite.” “You know, I think you might be right for a change, Morris. It does look like a vampire bite. Maybe that was a vampire bat!”, said Francis. All three boys looked at each other. First they would look at one, and then the other... and then back again.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Jasper said, “Well, time will tell. I've got to take a shower and change out of these clothes. I'm gonna lay back down after that. I don't have to be at Penny's to milk the cows until 4:30. Francis, could you take me over there? And what are you doing here Morris? I thought Audrey was taking you home.”

Francis nodded his head in agreement to taking Jasper to work. Morris was caught off guard. “I figure I can ride with Francis to the marina to work on the pontoon tomorrow. You'll want to ride with Penny anyway, wouldn't you?”, said Morris. “Really... yeah, but I'll have to check with her in the morning when I get to work. She's been very unpredictable lately.”, replied Jasper. Jasper went to his room, got some fresh clothes... and then went to take a shower. The two boys waited until they heard the shower start before they started talking. Morris turned on the TV.

“Jeeze... I never thought it would do something like that!”, said Morris. “I know! I was surprised too!”, said Francis in an emphatic whisper. “I almost called it off... but it wouldn't have done any good. I'll get you a pillow and a blanket. It wouldn't hurt to get a little rest... tomorrow is a big day.” ”Ok.”, said Morris and sat on the couch. When Francis came out with the blanket and pillow, Morris turned off the TV and laid down. Francis turned off all the lights except the little one over the stove and went to his room. When Jasper came out of the bathroom, he kind of scrunched his face and wondered if it was worth going to bed. It would only be a couple of hours, and the shower had woken him up … not to mention the giant escapade with the vampire bat. The shower was soothing and had calmed him down a little. He decided to try and go to bed.

“A vampire bat? No way! That only happens in the movies.”, thought Jasper as he nodded off to sleep.

Adapting

Chapter 11

“Uuuugh.”, mouthed Francis. He didn't want to get up, but he was no stranger to early mornings and late nights. “Play all you want, but always go to work the next morning, or no girl will respect you.”, was one of his credos he would live by. He went to the kitchen and made some coffee. He figured he had better feed Jasper before he left, in case Olny and Penny invited him to breakfast. He fried up some extra bacon for him and Morris. Then he cooked up some eggs in the bacon grease for all three of them. Next he made toast... garlic toast.

Preparations were in order. Once he was done cooking, he put the “oil of oregano” bacon that was on the plate in the refrigerator in the pan and warmed it up. The plate hadn't looked like it had been touched since they had doctored it up the night before. “You never know... Jasper might have wanted to nibble or have a late night snack. It was still good to cover the bases.”, thought Francis. Once the bacon was warmed up, he put it on a new plate with fresh paper towels and gave it another shot of oil for good measure. He also gave his eggs a shot. After pouring his and Morris's coffee… he put some oil in the coffee decanter on the counter.

The garlic toast... what could he do. Garlic was dangerous to vampires. “I know... ”, thought Francis. He went to the fridge and grabbed some jalapenos from some old pizzas. Carefully, he picked them up from the stems and set them on the counter. Gloves... gloves, where is some gloves. He wasn't going to get the juice on his hands. That stuff would not wash off, and he knew he would wind up getting it in his eyes.

Francis went over to the pantry and looked inside. There was a smock he had gotten from Wendy, that had the bottom sewed up and was hanging from an old wooden hanger on the wall by the broom and mop. Inside the smock, were plastic bags from the grocery store. He missed the paper ones you used to get. The smock was bulging out. Francis didn't see the point in keeping them, but every once in awhile they came in handy.

He grabbed like 4 or 5 bags and put them together to make one bag. After putting the peppers in the bag, he cut the corner off leaving just a little hole for the juice to run out. Then he squeezed the peppers hard until the juice dripped onto Jasper's toast. They weren't very juicy... so he had to turn and squeeze them a few times. Finally, he was done. He threw the bags away and turned on the TV.

Morris was out like a light. Even though Francis had made him breakfast, he thought he would let him sleep and get him up when he got back from taking Jasper to work. It was funny Jasper wasn't up. He was usually pretty good about being up on time. Francis went over and lightly knocked on his door with his middle knuckle. No answer. He tried it again. “Yeah.”, said Jasper. “Just checkin'”, said Francis. Maybe it was the smell of the bacon, or the sound of the weather girl... but Morris opened one eye. This was followed by dropping one leg to the floor, dragging his other leg over and sitting up. Grabbing his hat off the coffee table, he started thinking about Audrey... completely forgetting about what had happened the night before.

Francis sat down to the kitchen table and started eating. Morris got up, grabbed his coffee and set his food on the coffee table. He wanted to finish watching the news. Jasper came out of his room, and went over to get a cup of coffee. The coffee-maker never got his coffee hot enough, so he put his cup in the microwave after he poured it. He wanted to sit down, but decided to wait on the microwave. After he got his cup out, he sat down at the table.

“Francis knows I don't like wimpy toast. I guess it looks alright.”, thought Jasper. The boys did like garlic on their toast in the mornings... so the powdered garlic was usually on the table along with the metal caddy that looked like a donkey holding the salt, pepper and napkins. Even though Francis probably already had garlic on the toast, Jasper grabbed the garlic and sprinkled some more on. He then took a bite... and his face lit up as much as his mouth. “Aaaagh!”, said Jasper as he ran to the sink to get some water.

Hearing Jasper... Morris remembered the night before, and came into the kitchen and sat at the table. “What is wrong with the toast? My mouth is on fire!”, exclaimed Jasper. “Nothing's wrong with mine.”, said Morris as he was dunking his toast in his egg yolk. “Tastes pretty good.”, grabbing a piece of bacon and dunking it too. After a couple of drinks, Jasper sat down to finish his breakfast.

“What is wrong with the world!”, said Jasper. “First Penny, then the bat and now this!” Morris said, “Did you put garlic on your toast?” “Yeah, I did... like every other morning for breakfast!”, said Jasper. “I hate to say it, but that's your problem. Remember last night? Vampires can't have garlic.”, added Francis. “How's your neck?”

“Oh, it feels alright.” ,said Jasper. “But do you think it could really be true?” No one said anything, and went on eating breakfast. Francis was in the middle of his breakfast where as Morris was almost done. Jasper kept making weird faces. “None of this food tastes good. Even the coffee is messed up! Maybe I am turning into a vampire.”

“Maybe you're not all the way a vampire yet.”, said Morris. “At least it's dark when I milk the cows... well most of the time.”, said Jasper. “You better put on some suntan lotion just in case.”, said Francis. Jasper stated, “We might as well go. I'm not eating anymore of this.” Jasper went into the bathroom to get the suntan lotion... just in case. He went ahead and put some on his arms, neck and face. When he looked in the mirror... it was true! He couldn't see himself. If only he could be invisible, that would be a cool super power... then maybe all this stuff wouldn't be happening to him. He didn't want to say anything to the guys about the mirror... they might think he was going crazy.

When he came out of the bathroom, he was still hungry... so he grabbed a piece of bacon off the plate. “Yuck!”, thought Jasper and spit it out in the trash. Noticing the mirror in the livingroom, Jasper nonchalantly walked in front of the easy chair and around the coffee table like he was going to turn off the TV. He looked in the mirror, and sure enough... he wasn't there. He even backed his head up for a second look. Nope... not there. Francis and Morris noticed Jasper out of the corner of their eyes. “We got him now.”, whispered Francis. “Hook, line and sinker.”, Morris whispered back.

“Well... better go.”, said Jasper after turning off the TV and setting the controller on the coffee table. Jasper rubbed his neck... it still kind of itched from the night before. “Does my neck look bad?”, Jasper asked the boys. “It does look a little red...with a giant-looking spider bite in the middle.”, said Morris. “You better cover it up.”, interjected Francis. “But how?”, said Jasper; “It's too warm for a turtleneck or a scarf. Besides, I don't wear stuff like that anyway.” Francis said, “Maybe one of those big, patch band-aids?” “Great idea!”, said Jasper, and he went to the bathroom to get one. “Could you put it on for me Morris? I want to be sure it all gets covered.” “Sure.”, said Morris... realizing that Jasper couldn't look in the mirror to put it on.

Morris put on the band-aid for Jasper and his own shoes. They all piled into Francis's truck. Even though everything was going on … Morris was thinking about Audrey. Today he was going to see Aunt Chelsie at the pontoon, and he wanted to bring something nice for Audrey... he just hadn't figured out what yet.

Francis and Morris stayed in the truck while Jasper went to feed and milk the cows. Penny and Olny came out to the barn to help. It usually took about an hour to do the chores, and afterward … Olny went inside. The sun was coming up, and Penny and Jasper went to sit on the porch swing like they usually did. Morris and Francis had fallen asleep in the truck.

“What's wrong with your neck, Jasper?”, asked Penny. She had noticed the bandage in the barn, but hadn't said anything with her dad around. “Oh... nothing.”, replied Jasper. Now, she was suspicious. “You weren't with Janice last night were you? Your neck looks awful red!”, she whispered in exclamation. “No... no, geeze no.”, answered Jasper. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.” “You better tell me, or you can just leave right now and never come back!”, Penny said whispered with fire... eyeing his neck for any “hickey” signs. Realizing how serious she was, Jasper figured he better say something... and quick. She must have been stewing on this all morning in the barn. Even though he had to say something, Jasper couldn't talk. She was staring him down at about a foot away from his face. She really meant it.

Jasper slowly peeled back the patch band-aid, and told her what had the night before. “Jasper might not tell the whole story sometimes,” she thought, ”... but he never lies.” “Penny...”, said Jasper “if this is true, I think we're going to have to break up anyway. I wouldn't want you to have to be a vampire too, just so we can be together forever. I couldn't stand watching you get old unless we were getting old together. I love you... I gotta go, good-bye.” He gave her a kiss and went to the truck. When he opened the door, Morris half rolled out... caught himself and sat back up. Penny had her hands in the window frame and said, “We can work this out.” Jasper looked at her and saw the life he had held in his heart fading away, “I gotta go, but now you know why... good-bye.”

Now, Penny couldn't believe it. Had she pushed him too hard she wondered as the boys drove off down the lane. It was too pretty of a morning to be sad... but sad she was. Who could she call? She couldn't talk to her dad. He didn't think any guy was good enough for his daughter anyway. He'd be no help. Since Janice wasn't the problem, Penny decided to call her. She told Janice what had happened and made her promise not to tell anyone. Janice promised.

In the truck... all was quiet. Francis and Morris had only heard the conversation between Penny and Jasper when they were talking through the window. Both their eyes were big, and they would just look at each other now and then. After a few miles... Morris said, “We need to swing by my house so I can take a shower and change my clothes.” He still hadn't thought of anything to give Audrey. “Ok.”, said Francis.

Even though it was still kind of early in the day, the sun was getting hot. “Look at my arm!”, said Jasper. Where his arm was sticking out the window, it was getting all red and starting to blister. “Man, it hurts... my neck itches and I'm hungry! Morris, trade me places.” Francis pulled over to let the two switch places. When they got going again, Francis said, “Maybe you are turning into a vampire? Morris, look behind the seat and grab that flannel shirt for Jasper to cover in. He might get a burn through the windshield. Morris grabbed the shirt, (after digging) and gave it to Jasper. It was kind of crinkly and it stunk like the truck. Jasper frowned as he covered his arms and chest with the shirt. He even had it pulled up so that just his eyes could look out. “It's like putting your head in a tent of “stink”... I just want to go home.”, he thought.

Francis... seeing Jasper's misery,hated for it to go to waste … mentioned, “ You know, maybe we should stop by the funeral home to pick you out a casket? That's the way them old vampires did it. Maybe there's a reason they slept in them?” Jasper's eyes shifted to the left as he peeked out over top of the flannel shirt, letting Francis know that his remark didn't deserve an answer. Francis and Morris laughed.

Everyone went inside Morris and Janice's house. Morris went to his room, got some clothes and jumped into the shower. They only had an hour or so before they had to get to the pontoon at the marina. Janice had already made coffee, so Francis and Jasper poured themselves a cup. Jasper put some more suntan lotion on while they both sat at the kitchen table. Janice was watching her “vampire” soap opera show and drinking coffee when Penny had called. This was like a dream come true. Sure she was sad about Jasper and Penny breaking up... but, Jasper was cute. If he was on the market, Janice was interested.

Janice was hoovering in the kitchen, and when she saw Jasper put the lotion on... she asked about it. He told her he was “sun-sensitive” lately, and it seemed to help. He just didn't know, it was making things worse. Putting two and two together, Janice said, “Jasper... could I talk to you in private for a minute, please?” “Yeah, no problem.”, said Jasper. They had known each other their whole lives, so Jasper didn't think much of it. There was a little room towards the back of the house, off the kitchen … that was used as a pantry. You had to walk past it to go out the back door and onto the porch. That's where Janice led Jasper to talk.

“What's up?”, said Jasper. “We would have went on the back porch to talk, but I didn't know how sensitive you were to daylight. Janice got a little closer, and looked up. “I like vampires.”, she said with big eyes. “I understand you probably better than anyone you know.”, and she moved closer still. Jasper's eyes got big also... but with surprise! “Ugh... I'm not really seeing anyone right now.”, Jasper stammered. “Oh, I understand... most vampires have commitment issues. It probably just goes with the territory. I just wanted to let you know how I felt... and if you ever need someone to talk to or someplace to hang out, you're welcome here. I guess you have to be officially told or something according to custom. Don't say anything...(Janice brushed her hair to the side, exposing her neck), sometimes words are unnecessary.”

Afraid to make physical contact, Jasper nodded his head in acknowledgment slowly... and backed out of the pantry and went and sat back down at the table. Janice was starstruck. She wanted to sit down at the table with Jasper and Francis, but opted for the couch instead... to be nonchalant. “You know... I could text Wendy to see if she could get some blood from work for you to eat?”, said Francis. While Jasper and Janice were talking, Francis had put some oil of oregano in Jasper's coffee. Not quite on board with all this “vampire” business, Jasper gave Francis a “are-you-crazy” look. After one sip of his coffee though... he said, “Maybe we could try it?”.

The Big Day

Chapter 12

After Morris had gotten cleaned up and dressed, he was looking around his room for something to give Audrey and Aunt Chelsie. Time was running short. All he had was “guy” stuff... then his eye caught this old fishing reel he had on the shelf. It was cool. On the back of the reel, there was hole, with a giant marble inside... that you would put your thumb on, to use for the drag. The marble would spin as you let the line out . This would be for Aunt Chelsie… next, Audrey. At least she liked fishing … but Morris couldn't find anything else cool enough for her in his fishing stuff. Wait… they were going on a boat. He had a brass telescope in a little wooden box. He grabbed it, and wrote inside the lid,” I hope you find your heart's desire.” When he finished, he went into the livingroom.

“It's about time.”, said Francis. “Yeah!”, said Jasper (anxious to get out of there). “Let's go.”, said Francis… and the three boys climbed into the truck. This time Jasper had brought a sheet to cover himself with. He looked like a ghost, sittin' in the middle of the truck. Morris had cut two little “eye-holes” with his pocketknife for him. He pulled part of the sheet with one hand into the palm of his other hand and gripped it. With his free hand, he cut the sheet off with his pocket knife. Jasper was glad to see, but even more glad to get some fresh air inside.

They had arrived at he marina before everyone else. Now Jasper really looked like a ghost walking over to the pontoon. There was a few strange looks from some fisherman and even the lake officer who was in charge of the marina. “Just a Halloween trick folks… nothing to worry about.”, Francis would yell if anyone looked too hard at them. Jasper went inside, and sat down in a lawn chair that was bolted to the floor of the pontoon with some of those “C-brackets” that you mount electrical piping with.

Olny and Penny showed up… so Francis and Morris went to help bring the hardware supplies, the tools and the aluminum dock plate to the pontoon. Jasper sat quiet as a mouse. The boys had thrown some life vests on him to help hide him. Once they had cut the railing to accommodate the dock plate, they screwed the dock plate hinges down. After that, the put some supports on the railing along with the pulley for the winch. Olny attached the winch to the floorboards and wired it up to the wires that ran the lights. It worked like a dream. Olny figured he could run a separate wire for the winch later. Audrey and Aunt Chelsie showed up just as they were putting the finishing touches on the winch. You could see the excitement in Aunt Chelsie's eyes. Audrey was holding the fishing poles. Morris had made the introductions, and Penny was a little surprised when Olny stood up to greet Aunt Chelsie. Usually when he was working on something, he acted oblivious to what was going on around him. He never meant to be rude, but sometimes it seemed that way.

“Ok… we're ready when you are Miss Chelsie.”, said Olny. Everyone stood back and watched Aunt Chelsie navigate turning onto the ramp and onto the pontoon. “Yaa!!”, everyone cheered! It worked. Even though Jasper wasn't part of it, he cheered inside also. Aunt Chelsie picked out the place where she thought would be a good spot to fish from, and Francis marked out the spot by her tires to put the ratchet strap brackets.

Aunt Chelsie moved back so the brackets could be installed. Morris thought, “This might be a good time.” He gave Audrey and Aunt Chelsie their presents. They were just wrapped in brown paper sack … but both ladies loved their presents all the same. Audrey waited until after Aunt Chelsie opened her present before she opened hers. Aunt Chelsie was to busy spinning the marble to watch what was going on with Audrey. When Audrey opened the case, she read Morris's note. She always did want a brass telescope (no one knew). “Maybe Morris is my heart's desire too?”, thought Audrey… and gave Morris a big hug. They hadn't kissed yet, but boy… Audrey sure wanted too. Jasper watched as life was going by, from the sidelines.

When Olny was ready, Aunt Chelsie rolled her scooter into place. Francis and Olny strapped her chair down, and gave it a wiggle just to make sure it was sound and secure. Penny was happy for Aunt Chelsie, but was worried about Jasper. “he should be here.”, she thought to herself. The batteries for the pontoon and the trolling motor were located in the front of the pontoon. “Untie her, Francis.”, said Olny as he was plugging in the trolling motor. The trolling motor had a 220 plug wired on the end of the wire that Olny had to plug into an outlet. It was also pretty modern, because Olny used a remote control to run it. There were these bench seats with green and white cushions located on the sides of the pontoon next to the railings. Olny and Penny were on the side with the ramp and Morris and Audrey were on the side next to Aunt Chelsie. Aunt Chelsie was tough … but she started to cry. Audrey held her hand. The lake was so beautiful. Aunt Chelsie had waited years for this moment.

When Jasper saw this… he started to think about the life he would miss being away from Penny and Olny … always having to live in the shadows. He missed her so bad. Why did he come? Watching Aunt Chelsie's dream come true sparked the reason he could never give Penny when she asked what was the plan for the rest of their lives. Jasper thought, “The plan is to make people's dreams, at whatever age… come true. Sure, not every dream can come true … but if you help people with those dreams,the hope transfers into another dream they never even realized could happen. We could start by using the pontoon for handicap fishing charters! Well … at least Olny and Penny could. Why did I come? Was it to see Penny once more, or to see if the pontoon idea would work?” Jasper, sitting like a ghost statue… started to cry too.

“Penny… could you go get the life vests for everyone, please?”, asked Olny. “Sure, Pa.”, answered Penny. She had been quiet and just going through the motions. “What was life going to be like without Jasper?”, thought Penny. She walked inside under the canopy, and started sifting and collecting up vests. Jasper saw her coming, and pulled one of the vests up over his eyes. “Oh no!”, thought Jasper. When Penny went to grab the vest Jasper had a hold of, it kind of pulled back… which made Penny pull harder. This time when she pulled, she saw two red eyes looking back at her and noticed a “head-looking” shape under the sheet. She screamed and grabbed the nearest object which was an old boot and started hitting Jasper in the head. Man, did it hurt! You wouldn't think a boot could hurt so much. Maybe it was the steel toes. Anyway, Jasper started moving and was jumping out of the chair. This made Penny just swing that boot faster and harder. Olny started bee-lining towards Penny. Audrey and Aunt Chelsie turned there heads, while Francis and Morris looked at each other. They knew what was going on.

The Truth

Chapter 13

Jasper got the sheet off just in the nick of time, because Olny was about to tackle him. Olny was moving so fast, he still tackled him… but at least everyone could see who the stranger under the sheet was. Penny stopped short of smashing Jasper in the nose with the boot, when her face changed after she realized it was Jasper. Jasper screamed again when he saw the boot coming at his face.

Francis, Morris and Audrey hurried under the canopy to where all the commotion was. “What is going on! I want to know now!”, Olny voiced loudly. Everyone was quiet. “Pa...”, started Penny.

Everyone was so nice, and she hadn't known them all very long… so Audrey felt like she should say something. Interrupting Penny… Audrey said, “Except for Aunt Chelsie… we have all been playing a joke on Jasper, trying to make him think he was a vampire.” “He was under the sheet to stay out of the sun, and was gonna come out when the sun went down.”, said Morris. Francis was still feeling to old to be playing pranks on people, even if it was on Jasper. He felt ashamed… yet triumphant. Jasper and Penny were the most puzzled of all. Once all had been explained by Francis and Morris, Jasper and Penny walked over to the woods by the lake shore to talk. “Penny… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish.” She looked up at him, still feeling bad for smacking him with the boot so hard and for so many times. “I figured out what we could do for the rest of our lives, in case you were wondering. We could help people with their heart's desires… as long as it isn't robbing a bank or something like that. Maybe it's to help people not be lonely or to go fishing like Aunt Chelsie? I even thought of handicap fishing charters for kids in wheelchairs and old people in scooters. Anyone really. After my grandpa quit farming, he would just sit in his chair and watch the cars go by. No one would visit much. He'd just sit there and slowly twiddle his thumbs. He would have loved to gone fishing. Maybe Morris and Audrey would like to help.”

“For not saying much before, he's sure talking a lot now… but I like what he's saying.”, thought Penny. “I don't know if it's the answer you want, but I couldn't imagine doing it without you. I've missed you so bad… I love you.”, Jasper almost whispered in a slow methodical voice. The moments hung in the air … until Penny put her arms around Jasper's neck and said, “I love you too.”; and smiled... before they kissed.

They joined the others back at the pontoon, and explained the new idea about running a fishing charter business. Francis even had the idea, they could branch out to other lakes and run even more pontoons. If it was a good idea, all they would have to do is find more people who lived at the other lakes to run them, if they supplied the pontoons.

With everyone fitted with their life vests on... the boat gave a little jerk as the trolling motor moved the pontoon out into the water slowly.

The End