Hard choices, part two

Steven brought up fusion with his boyfriend on the last night before they’d finally arrive into Beach City.

He told Matt about Stevonnie.

He tried to explain how it felt.

How it was like you were still yourself, but with that person, you became two halves of a whole. The best parts of each other in one body.

It made Matt jealous that Steven had fused and fought with Connie.

Steven picked up on Matt’s insecurities and made a suggestion that they fuse, so Matt put on some music so they could dance.

Matt sang along to the soft, romantic Hebrew song.

They danced to the song slowly, and Steven fell into Matt’s strong arms. They locked gazes and Matt kissed the other's cheek, their faces touching gently. Both of them breathed in as they kissed each other deeply—-but as the song ended, nothing happened.

“Wh-what… why didn’t it happen?” Matt said.

Steven frowned and was at a loss for words.

“Why didn’t we fuse?”

Steven sighed, his eyes tearing up. “I.. I don’t know why.”

“Are we not compatible or something?”

Steven shook his head, “We are, Matt. That’s not it.” He took the other’s hand. “We are… I think I’m just feeling off today.”

Matt looked unconvinced. “Man, that’s jacked up. You fused with Connie. But not me.”

“I am still figuring out the part of me that’s on my mom’s side…. The gem part… it’s not like I decided what happened just now,” Steven said in a defensive tone.

“But fusing is all about emotions, how you feel. You must not feel good enough right now to fuse.”

“Well, maybe I don’t.”

Matt looked shocked, and then looked down.

“Damn man. You really don’t get it.”

Steven scoffed, “Of course I get it!”

“You just shrugged away the fact that you just told… told me you don’t feel good enough to fuse with me?” Matt said with tears running down his cheeks.

Steven’s eyes widened and he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

“Matt… honey… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I swear.” Steven started to tear up, too, and went in closer to hug Matt.

Matt almost crushed Steven with his embrace—-and Steven felt like he was a horrible boyfriend for awhile.

“I know. I just got caught up in how intense your relationship with Connie was… and I wanted to emulate that.”

“But, our relationship is different, Matt. It’s special and unique. And so important to me.” Steven slowly moved from their embrace and their eyes met. “You are so important to me.”

“Maybe you need to pick out a song. A song that reminds you of me. Maybe the synch was all off. Do you think that might be it?” Matt asked softly.

Steven bit his lip. “Maybe.”

“You know, I sometimes feel like your commitment to us isn’t as important as you say it is. And… I hope I’m wrong… but I think you still like Connie.”

“Matt…. I’m with you. You are… you’re mine. I’m yours. Please don’t say that.”

“Well, sometimes it seems like you do have feelings for her.”

“I don’t. Okay? I don’t. Just… can we just move on?”

“Steven, baby, I need to know if you’re down with me. Totally and unequivocally. I appreciate honesty… and I…” Matt leaned in close, his hands suddenly wrapping around Steven’s waist. “God, I just love you so much. You are so cute. So damn handsome. And I wanna be with you. Like, a really long time.”

Steven felt Matt’s warm hands caressing his thighs and waist, and it made him feel sensual. The almost protective and intimate touch made Steven feel amorous, leaning in closer to Matt’s body.

“Mmm… Matt, I love you, too.”

Suddenly, Steven closed the gap and kissed Matt fiercely and passionately.

Matt’s hands moved up, against Steven’s chest and near his face. Their bodies were pressed together, making them both sigh in soft, breathy ways.

“Oh, sweetheart… I want you so bad…” Matt whispered.

Steven surprised himself with just how much he wanted his Boyfriend back… and he whispered, “Let’s make love.”

Matt paused a moment. “Baby… let’s be careful… maybe we should wait…”

“Why?” Steven said, laying on the hotel bed. “Get over here.”

“You’re making me want to just lose control. You’re so damn hot,” Matt said languidly, and moved over to the bed, slowly getting on to lay on top of him.

The intense pressure building up between them was lifted a moment as he pressed their lower bodies together, his hands holding intently onto the latter’s thighs.

They both moaned a bit, and Matt couldn’t help how much he loved this position—-having Steven under him, wanting and panting.

“Mi hermoso amante judío,” Steven whispered, and Matt grinned.

“What’s that mean, baby?”

“My beautiful Jewish lover.”

Matt looked at him with affection and kissed his cheek, “My gorgeous…. Gem lover…”

Steven laughed, and they held each other tight.

“You really want to make love?” Matt asked. “I never want you to feel pressured.”

Steven nodded, kissing him again, a passionate and raw sort of kiss. That was Matt’s final answer.

Matt felt whole as he felt his love was being reciprocated in full; Steven felt excited and truly loved—-but not whole.

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