Happy Harper

May rolled by like another Monday, even though it started on a Thursday this year. Same shit, different day. Except there was one small change. Well, maybe not that small. This year, the school was empty. Same with the office. And the staff room. Not a soul in sight.

“Uh…” Harper walked around the empty grounds in confusion. It was a Thursday. It was 8am. Was her wild imagination playing tricks on her, or was she really the only person at work? Was this some late April Fool’s thing?

Pulling out her phone, she checked her messages for some “gotcha” text, but all she found was an email from the school vice principal.

“Enjoy the day and don’t forget that report cards are due up in the system by Monday morning. Happy May Day!”

“What the hell is May Day?” Harper did a quick Google search and realized that she had messed up. There was no work today, not in Mexico, and not in most of the world. Wasn’t Labor Day in September? Turned out that no. Only in the US and Canada. Lame-os. What a treat to have moved outta those silly places.

Also, it turned out that May is Mental Health Month and Masturbation Month. Happy Thursday to Harper, time to treat and take care of herself.

---

So I took a peak around to see what everyone is up to and stumbled upon Mikey's Dollar Challenge and thoughts, well, I got a story for this one. It's not quite the Maypole Dance y'all might be thinking of, but if you've got the right tools, the right music, and the time- you'll definitely get dancing if you know what I mean.

You can check out his challenge below:

This piece was originally posted on my Medium account here. Feel free to check it out, I write lots of crazy microfiction over there.