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A Story Every Day in 2024 April 17th 108/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished 3 months ago 2 min read
Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

She was sat outside when the hail came. She had been thinking and drinking, letting the sun distract her. She had fixed herself a bright cocktail with an umbrella and a Maraschino cherry. The alcoholic proportions were wrong, or right, depending on how you saw it.

Which reminded her. Marcus. That was the probléme de jour. Every day. Lying, cheating Marcus. Husband of twenty years and adulterer for all of them. He had no idea that she knew about his philandering ways and she had no idea how to let him know.

She suddenly wished that she had been more ambitious. She looked at her shellac nails and saw them for the symbolic sham they were: an attempt to show a front of pristine perfection, the beautiful accompaniment to Marcus's striking businessman.

She took another sip of her cocktail. She lay back again, head pleasantly fuzzy, limbs languid when the image of Marcus and the new maid jumped into her head. She sat up again, feeling a little sick and wondering if she was getting sunstroke.

Black clouds gathered overhead. Where had they come from? She'd just been basking and now, she wished she had something more on than this gauzy designer wrap.

She suddenly felt very alone. She was an empty vessel for use as a tool - fill me up with an idea and watch me go! Marcus was the puppet-master, pulling her, never there by her side, always above and out of reach.

Then black took over as the hail came and rather than move, she watched as it plonked itself in her cocktail and stung her legs, cold, hard, unyielding like a punishment and she stood, arms out and let it pelt her, feeling each blow like a dart. And she laughed, mascara running, her body pink from its beating.

She had never felt more alive or more sober.

Eventually, it eased and she was panting. Surrounded by white pellets, she lowered her head from where it had faced the clouds and saw Marcus, standing, shocked and appalled.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" he exclaimed, harshly.

An epiphanic moment arrived.

"Leaving you" and she raised her hail-filled glass.


366 words

I return to moments like this in my fiction where a character has had enough, a pivotal event or revelation where they decide "That's it". I like the show of strength and resilience, that despite how hard it may be, it is easier than continuing on the same road.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please do leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.


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About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:


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Comments (12)

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    Good for her!!!

  • D.K. Shepard3 months ago

    What a visually striking scene! The storm clouds gathering the hail in her glass, so vivid! Love the character voice in this one too!

  • Mark Gagnon3 months ago

    It takes something as unambiguous as hail to wake up her survival sense. Great story, Rachel.

  • Gerard DiLeo3 months ago

    Hail and estrangement are dishes best served cold. Great story. She should have been watching the weather much earlier, though. :)

  • Wow! Hail sure had an impact… ‘ And she laughed, mascara running, her body pink from its beating. She had never felt more alive or more sober.’ I love the way you take a simple thing or event and end with life changing results!🙃

  • John Cox3 months ago

    I agree with all of the commenters - especially Dharrsheena. Brilliant build up and delivery of the comeuppance, Rachel. A real wake-up call!

  • Paul Stewart3 months ago

    A masterclass in the small dramas that fall everyone at times. I loved her, the MC, and felt for her, even in this small window into her life, and was glad at the end she made that hard, bold, plaster-ripping choice to go. good on her! Hope he comes to understand what he is missing out on. Well done, Ra-chum. Trying out a different slant on it there! lol.

  • Daphsam3 months ago

    Great story!

  • C. Rommial Butler3 months ago

    Well-wrought! All hail! Hehe...

  • Grz Colm3 months ago

    Hey Rachel!! Hahah! - this would work so well in a long form narrative. I enjoyed the humour and this line particularly as a tad relatable lol, “The alcoholic proportions were wrong, or right, depending on how you saw it.” 😆 Hope you are travelling well. 😊

  • Woman, like finallyyyyyy, after 20 years!! Gosh! Glad that hail knocked some sense into her!

  • Hannah Moore3 months ago

    Next time it hails.... Not that I want to leave my partner, but I feel like it could be revelatory!

Rachel DeemingWritten by Rachel Deeming

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