Habibi

As lighter is to gas, Habibi, an heartache to me.Hair the colour of 11:59, skin ivory, teeth the colour of clouds and eyes Hazel of the sea.

Yes he kissed me, always did assure me, held my hand in public,said the rosiet things, spent a century on me, but is that all love is about? “Definitely not” i spun the cigarettes in my hands so that it dangled lazily in between my middle and index. “Tito” his voice will call my name like the strings of the cello could finally speak Oh! I will do anything for him anything for my Habibi, “But is he worth doing anything for?” My conscience judged squeezing every air passage i had built in me “ahhh Habibi!!!”I exclaimed as if it was an escape a way to jumpstart my breathing again “definitely not” i say again this time almost as a whisper recovering my episode on lack of air. The baby on my back begun crying how do i explain she understands?,she isn’t meant to be here a product of one of my Habibi’s flings is what she is. Afoma if i would be more specific skin that resembled that of the dogs that roamed in the streets eyes black as a cupboard and nose that two express roads would fit into, would have said Habibi didn’t have taste if I wasn’t a part of the picture “Where is she?...i hear you say?” DEAD the baby took care of that for me already killed her in the labour room so you see I loved that child so much long before i met her and I’m grateful she’s all mine now. Plus she’s a carbon copy of her father, Habibi and looks nothing like her mum, she made the shame hidden too.

Prior to this 16/02/2017 it was stated by the doctors that i could never bear a child after so much trials and running around due to an abortion my habibi had orchestrated in secondary school. Long story short that was our first and last child.”mwah ha ha ha ha” i laugh, my eyes teary. unbelievable. He said he will stick with me till the end since he pushed me, I guess the glue wasn’t all that strong hmm? Habibi?

“Before you say anymore” i spoke to my conscience...as she has been the reason why we are having this conversation anyways ”he said he was sorry it was the devil’s handwork” each time it happened...his uncontrollable infidelity to me that is “ha ha ha ha ha ...even if the devil had so much time on his hands, not for you Habibi”.The baby laughs.i laugh.My conscience too we all laugh.We knew too well Habibi was in full state of awareness and his good looks didn’t help too they rang around him.

I spoke with Alinko today, Habibi didn’t state where he was going stepped out without his wedding ring. Am I bothered? Either ways he isn’t getting there. I hired Alinko actually he and his boys will be kidnapping Habibi, keep him hostage and then castrate him so I’ll give IT to baba seven colours, he’ll then use it to process the money my Daughter and i will use to plant our feet on a foreign soil.Oga for Oga or how do the swedes say it?. I also sent a resignation letter in his name to is workplace this morning.The valuables in the house? all in my name I fear not.”Shouldn’t you just kill him?” I hear you ask but to that... i say “you’ll never understand i love Habibi he’s my lover ...ha ha ha ha”.