Guarded

I remember that day the clearest. Waking up to my room, looking around before realizing it was the day I both dreaded to come and still couldn’t wait for. It wasn’t anything special, just time my family had set aside to spend together. This particular day was exciting, but I can honestly look back on that now and wish that this wasn’t the case. I remember how we greeted one another with a hug. We were so excited about our plans. While we didn’t always get along, we still loved these days we had together.

Each of us would choose an activity, and I feel like I can speak for us all when I say we couldn’t wait to surprise each other with new ideas and new locations. My family…it’s hard to think of them now. I don’t remember what they looked like, but I do remember loving them. We were just about ready to head out to start the celebration when we heard a single knock at the door. When we went to see what it was, there was only a beautifully golden wrapped package on the porch. It was addressed to me. My family teased the idea of me having a secret admirer as I held it in my lap. I looked at it puzzled for a moment before eventually opening it.

It was this radiant red heart-shaped locket. When I say heart-shaped, I don’t mean the one designed by people; I mean the one that exists within people. I didn’t know it was a locket right away. However, it was still an exceptionally stunning piece of jewelry I had to try on. As I went to do so, my parents found a note left at the bottom of the packaging. It read, “This is for you, who is worth the best of wishes and the greatest of chances. Wear this, and you shall forever be safe”. After reading that, I did wonder if I might have had a secret admirer. Regrettably, it didn’t take long for me to understand this as not being the case.

Suddenly it was as if the TV, the radio, our phones all activated on their own. There was nothing to be seen but much to be heard. All I recall about the voice is how scared it made me feel. I don’t know the exact words that were said. It was something about how we were killing our home, the place that gave us life. How we had begun hurting it for selfish reasons and then each other. “This is the end. The end of using one another. The end of tearing up the very place that made our existence possible. We’re starting over”. I think I only remember that part because of how sick it made me. I remember my mom falling to her knees as she heard it. My father by her side and then…metal.

While it might have been some sort of machine, at the time, I thought it was a monster. The metal coming through the window, the beeping sound it made, and then the red metal that came out of the locket and covered my body before managing to pull me from the house. It forced me away, forcing me to hear their screams, then watch them die. My family, our neighbors, the kids on the street. And no matter my fight against it, it only took me further and further away until I was safe. It retracted back into the heart, and that’s when I understood. This locket is where the red metal came from. What I thought was a piece of jewelry was actually a strange armor, and it only got more complex from there. It wouldn’t come off. It had attached itself to my flesh, and if I tried to rip it away, the metal came out and stopped me from harming myself.

I didn’t grasp how it worked at first, but I’ve come to believe that it’s some form of nanotech over time. Something I would have once thought to be impossible yet find myself seeing on an everyday basis. It only activates if I’m in danger and responds differently depending on the trouble I’m in. It flew me away from my family that day. Although it might sound messed up, I try my best not to remember them sometimes. It only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel guiltier, angrier, and more alone. For some reason, I was chosen to be protected by an unknown source while they were left for dead. I can’t look back on it without trying to figure out how I could have somehow changed what happened that day. I don’t even know how long ago that was.

I used to be surrounded by cute tiny homes and kindly neighbors. Today I see debris everywhere. And when I run into someone, I face the risk of them attempting to hurt me before the locket kills in defense, or I meet people willing to take me in. People who want to help one another survive. I keep thinking this means I won’t always be alone. But then the machines come--the monsters. They work similarly to my locket, only aren’t trying to save anyone, just kill. They’re impossible to destroy and despite my best attempts…I still can’t save anyone. I’ve tried so hard. I’ve held their hands, I’ve guarded them with my body, I’ve tried to run away with them. But the moment I’m in danger, the locket activates, and I’m forced to leave or watch everyone else die. Sometimes both.

At some point I kept track; I hoped “this time” I could save someone. But when the death count reached triple digits, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I think it’s been years now since it started. I can honestly say I don’t even know how old I am now. I was 18 when I got the locket. Barely 18…most people I meet aren’t sure how long it’s been either. Most guess 6 or more years. This tech burned into my flesh can do thousands of things to keep me alive, but it can’t give me time. Although I imagine that it was designed with the idea of time becoming irrelevant as its monster siblings were, that could likely be why. What I don’t understand is why I can’t save anyone else. Why someone would send this to me as a gift, knowing I’d likely die alone of old age.

This would be a good place for that. I’ve isolated myself here, in this dirty cave. The ground isn’t soft, but it’s one of the comfiest places to sleep nowadays. Right now, I’m outside the cave, admiring the stars. Whatever those monsters are, their biggest target seems to be people and the society we built. I find animals and nature are safe from direct attacks. Of course, if people hide here and find you, they’ll do whatever it takes. Luckily starting a fire is their last resort. I’ve only seen that happen up close once, but their first killing attempts are usually successful. One of the most disturbing things I’ve come to realize is that no one I’ve met since it started has any understanding of how these machines work.

I know because I’ve seen most of their methods at this point. If it hadn’t been for the lack in numbers of these machines, I think I’d be the last person alive by now. But it’s rare technology, and so only a few monsters exist, all remaining in their seemingly designated areas. Some have attempted to chase me in the past, but they would disengage once I crossed certain regions. Then proceed to look elsewhere for human life. It’s safe to say I don’t know everything about them. I don’t know everything about the locket I wear either. I realize it keeps me alive from physical harm, and if I’m close to helpful yet abandoned supplies, it will alert me to go there.

There was a time I refused to eat, to drink. I remember blacking out, and when I awoke, the metal was surrounding my body. I was no longer hungry or thirsty. In all truth, I did this many times, but this locket won’t let me die. It’s taken care of me in ways I can’t comprehend even while sick. It’s helped me travel when an area becomes endangering by storm or other natural disasters. I can’t die. And because I can’t save others, I’ve decided to stay alone. Maybe that’s selfish or wrong. All I know is I can’t watch any more people lose their lives. I mean, I have to, but I don’t want to anymore. I think it’s been about a week since the last death I witnessed. But people are desperate and often find my safe places in hopes of finding refuge.

When they find me alive and well, it always gives them a false sense of hope. Still, I can never find it in myself to tell them the truth. I usually try to help them out. I give them a place with me, share my supplies with them, and teach them small tricks I’ve learned to survive. In the end, the monsters always find them, and I’m alone again. There was one incident when I didn’t think I should even try. I gave them some supplies and left them. When I did that, I know it was because I feared witnessing them die or even growing attached to them. Now I wish I stayed. I still don’t know if they’re alive or dead. I hope they’re alive and well, but part of me is sickly sure they’re dead.

The sky, the dirt, the grass, the wind. It’s all I have right now. I don’t know why I’m thinking about that day, I don’t often. However, I’m glad I did. I think I can still hear my mom’s laugh…I only wish I didn’t have to listen to her scream. Oh gosh, I can hear it. Not her screaming, but something just as bad. It’s one of those machines. Someone is close, and they’ve led it out here. No, no, no, this is bad. I can feel myself shaking as I get to my feet. Those damning footsteps. The flashing lights shining past the trees. It’s getting close. And suddenly, so am I. I can’t stop; my legs just started carrying me. For a moment, I think it’s the locket, but when I glance down their no red covering me. What am I doing?

Then I hear it, screaming? That wasn’t my mother. It’s this woman. As I arrive at the scene, I see the silhouette of a woman standing before a monster. I watch as the monster reaches out to grab her, yet she manages to doge, and I notice her running in my direction.

“Over here!” I yell. She sees me, and before I can do anything, she takes my hand, and we both run from the monster. Still, it’s only gaining. I don’t know why I’m here; she’s going to die.

“Let go!” I shout. I’m only going to hold her back, but she doesn’t seem to want to leave me behind. Eventually, I find her thrusting me ahead of her. As I fall, she stands guarding me as the monster gets closer. She’s going to die. I get back to my feet and grab her hand as the monster lifts her; why do I still try? I finally see her. Her strong-willed eyes, her freckled cheeks, her…locket?! I can’t explain why but I could tell we were thinking the same thing as we stared at each other. We’re the same? As if on cue, the lockets activate, working together to get us both away from danger. Once safe, we faced each other again. I don’t know who she is in any regard, but we know. We finally know we’re not alone.