gone too soon...

Left aidless in the chilling medical institution, his colour was stolen by the ghosts of trauma. I scanned his broken form, digesting the tragic sight of his wounded leg, lost like a tree trunk bereft of its branches. The raw tears gently trickling down his sob-stained cheeks embodied the shattered dreams slipped too soon.

I press my delicate fingertips against my lips, fighting back my own tears as I felt the unstoppable edge to mend his broken spirit. My emotions trembled like delicate rose petals quivering upon sight of a filled graveyard. I stand there, my heart heavy with a mixture of fear and sorrow. His once vibrant spirit now flickers like a dying flame, struggling to hold on amidst the ravages of war. The weight of the battles he fought etched on every scar and wound, each line telling us weary story of sacrifice and pain.

Unable to hold back anymore, I reach out. The touch of his weathered hand is a bittersweet reminder of the life we once shared and cherished and of the dreams and hopes we held so tightly to. But now, those dreams slip through my fingers like grains of sand, as the reality of my lover’s mortality unfolds before me.

His breath comes in shallow gasps, a desperate symphony that echoes the fragility of his existence. And as I stand there, my heart breaking with each rasping breath he takes, I wish I could shield him from the pain, the violence that had consumed him. I want to scream, to shake him awake from this nightmare, but deep down I know his journey is reaching its end.

In an airy voice, I whisper his name, pouring every ounce of my soul into the sound, hoping that it will reach him, that it will anchor him to this world just a little longer. I somehow feel the depth of his pain, his unspoken words, the weight of his unfulfilled dreams.

As his wheezing weakens to a stop, the world around me fades to insignificance. The silence is deafening, echoing the emptiness that now envelops me.

I hold onto his lifeless body, clutching at memories that threaten to slip away, knowing that the battlefield has claimed not only his life, but also a part of my own.

1 year later…

Its been a year since my beloved husband was snatched from my grasp by the cold hands of war, days blurring like an infinite cycle of emptiness and belonging. I find myself trapped in a labyrinth of grief, unable to move forward. Confused. Lonely. Dejected.

It seems as though when Roland’s heart stopped beating, a part of mine stopped too. When he gasped for his last breath, it was the last moment I perceived colour. When he died, he took my happiness with him. Everyone is past the finish line, encouraging me to start anew, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. The world has moved on, but I feel stuck in winter, frozen in time.

The summer sun beams relentlessly, casting its golden rays upon a world that feels cold to my touch. Yearning for his warm embrace, it caused reminiscence of those long summer days we would lie on fresh green grass and talk for hours. Now, it’s a one-way conversation as I lay by his grave. The vibrancy the bright sun beams reminds me of the vibrancy of his deep blue eyes like endless oceans. Perhaps one day, the sun will fill my heart with joy once again. One day…

As autumn arrives, the leaves turn brown and begin to decay. Likewise, is my heart that continues to grow grey. The falling leaves mirror my hopes and dreams, each one a gentle reminder of the countless moments we will never share. Autumns melancholic beauty illustrates the storm that rages within my heart. And time, it seems, is allowing days to slip through its fingers while I remain trapped in the haunting grip of grief. I covet for release from this prison of sorrow, to emerge from the depths. In autumns embrace, memories of us dance like fallen leaves in the wind. We used to stroll hand in hand along various paths, crunching laves underfoot, our laughter mingling with the rustling of trees. The world was ours; we were invincible – or so it seemed…

The winter snow falls gently from the heavens, blanketing the world in a quiet hush. As the cold wind nips at my cheeks, I struggle to find solace amidst the frozen landscape. The bitter chill of winter clings the air, every snowflake embodying the icy grip that holds my heart like a bandage. Winter, once a season of joy and togetherness, now mirrored the desolation that consumed me. The barren trees, their skeletal branches, reaching toward the grey sky, reflects the emptiness that pervades my life. The world around me is cold and unwelcoming, devoid of the warmth that Roland’s presence once provided. Perhaps one day, I will feel that warmth again…

The world awakened from its slumber, adorned in delicate blossoms and happiness, but all I feel is emptiness. Each vibrant petal, unfurling with grace, seemed to mock my grief, as if it dared me to move on. But how could I? Despite nature awakening, I remain confined to the clutches of cheerlessness. The blossoms that once brought joy to my heart now bear a tinge of melancholy, as the remind me of the life we once shared, and the one we will never have.

The love of my life. Gone too soon…