Golden Shackles

The outside world was unknown to her, but she could see a glimpse of it through the window in his room. From here she could hear the clunking of horse hooves on the cobblestones, the buzzing of distant chatter with the shouting of marketers occasionally breaking over the hum. The smell of sweat, shit, and spices wafted up. The city outside could have been a whole other world. It was nothing like the quiet river village she’d grown up in, where a newcomer’s arrival would be a week’s worth of gossip and on a clear night, it was impossible to count all the stars.

She hadn’t left the small palace, since the day she had been chosen. Three years, two months and seven days ago. The adventurer in her wanted to explore; to see what dangers lurked below and what it was like living amongst so many people. Her tutor had told her there were twelve million of them. It seemed like an impossible number; her village had had less than one hundred. It really was a whole other world.

When she first arrived, she imagined her mama and papa were here with her in the palace. She'd pictured their reactions to this new place. Like her mother's eyes going as round as saucers, when she was given her first dress; the silk alone had probably cost more than a year's yield. She pictured her papa unable to contain his excitement upon seeing the King's horse; a magnificent pure-white stallion that put all other horses to shame.

At first, it had been a way of passing the time and keeping them close. But as she got used to the world around her, slowly finding her place in it, it just felt like a way to torture herself. Her time here had turned her into a whole new person. One she wasn't sure her family would even recognise or like.

In truth, Tanya wasn’t sure that there was anything left of the fiery girl that she had once been. That girl had been fierce; she’d climbed to the top of the old oak tree and challenged the boys to sword fights with sticks they'd collected by the riverbed. That girl had always raced to finish her chores, so she could spend the rest of her day exploring the woods.

She was fearless because there had been nothing in her village to fear. She learnt her lesson, the day she was snatched between the trees. Her whole life had been shattered, the moment those manacles were snapped around her wrists.

She didn't wear them anymore. Not for three years. Enough guards were patrolling the palace that keeping a single slave girl in line, was no obstacle.

Tanya rubbed her wrists idly, feeling the phantom weight. She could remember the day they were taken off. She'd been escorted to the throne room and pushed into a line-up with what seemed like hundreds of other girls.

The King had strolled in idly; examining each one of them in turn. Tanya's heart had pounded the entire time. By the time he came to stand in front of her, she was afraid she was going to throw up all over him.

"Turn." He'd said, quietly but with the tone of someone used to being obeyed. She'd done what he said, resisting the urge to cover herself in the figure-hugging dress she'd been forced into. It was practically see-through, she'd thought as she examined herself in the mirror that morning; imagining her mother's disapproving look.

She'd felt everywhere his eyes had touched. She might as well have been naked.

Finally, he told her to stop. He cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her head from side to side, not ungently as he examined her face. He pressed his finger to her lips. He ignored her gasp, as he pulled down her lip so that he could examine her teeth.

Finally, he looked her in the eyes. She'd swallowed. Unsure what to do. Her tutor had told her not to look at him. To always turn her head downwards. But she was unable to break his gaze.

A slow smile crept across his face. "I'll have this one." He declared.

Tanya had stiffened. He'd said it in the same off-handed way as her father picking livestock.

Tanya ignored the glares she earned, as the rest of the women filed out. Her shock and relief at being chosen, couldn't override her disgust.

She knew she should have been happy. That this was the best thing that could have happened for her - a slave to live in the imperial palace! She'd live better than she had at home. She could still remember that winter when all the crops had failed, and her family had had to survive by eating boiled leather boots. That would never happen here. She'd never go hungry again. And each day she would be dressed in the finest of silks to attract the King.

And yet the wild girl in her would not be content living behind all these walls. There was a whole world out there, she was yet to explore. She couldn’t bear a life wasted, staring out of windows.

But there was hope. As a concubine to the King all she had to do was give him an heir.

Tanya stared down at the flat plane of her belly and as she had done every day for the past three years, she whispered a prayer. Goddess, give me a son, so he can set us free.