Going Home

Melissa hadn’t been home in almost a decade. The day she’d graduated she’d hightailed it out of town direct from the ceremony. There was nothing sinister here she had to get away from. The town was made up of perfectly polite people living perfectly quaint lives. And that’s what scared her.

She’d watched her brother make his plans to leave for university only to delay for a season because they need the extra hands and never leave. Then she watched her neighbors’ daughter, Tilly, do a semester of beauty school, only to take over the bakery when her mum got sick. Melissa didn’t want to end up like them.

She’d barreled through her degree, getting a job offer before she officially graduated. The week she started her new job and her new life she was on top of the world. She answered her phone in an excited haze as she stood behind her desk gathering the documents she would need.

‘Hey mum, so sorry I can’t talk properly now I’m about to go into my first meeting.’ She explained excitedly.

‘It’s me.’ Her father grunted, her blood instantly running cold even before she registered the sound of her mother sobbing in the background. ‘You need to come home. Your brother… had an accident.’

‘Oh.’ Melisa stammered as she fell into her seat. If her brother had merely cut himself, or broken a bone it would not have warranted a call.

‘Anyway, the funeral is Friday. You’ll be there?’ It wasn’t really a question.

‘Yes of course. But I have to go now.’ She hung up the phone, running quickly to the bathroom where she threw up. Then she cleaned herself up and rushed back to her desk and headed to her meeting.

Her only way of coping had been to shut down entirely and look at the facts. Her brother was dead. Nothing she could do would change that. If she went home even for the weekend she might get roped back into the small town. And so she hadn’t gone. She hadn’t even called her father to say she couldn’t go. And the day her brother was lowered into the ground she researched precedents for a dispute over a last will and testament.

Things had been strained between her and her dad ever since. She wouldn’t even be home now except that her mother had passed. She’d had a stroke while she’d slept. It was the kindest death that you could ask for but it was still too soon. The whole town was grieving. Melissa couldn’t even count how many people had shown up for the service today.

Her mother’s friends had taken over the kitchen preparing food for everyone, and cleaning as they went. Her father was sitting in the lounge room nursing a whiskey flipping between reminiscing with joy and sobbing so violently you could still hear him outside.

Which is where Melisa now stood, in the driveway of her childhood home. She couldn’t stay here. Someone would find her and not only give their condolences. Then they’d wax lyrical about how proud the whole town was of her for becoming a big shot lawyer. It was sickening. The worst had been her old neighbor Tilly.

‘I didn’t have the head or the heart for it in the end. I’m so much happier just running my mother’s old bakery.’ She’d explained and Melisa had struggled not to roll her eyes. That’s why she’d initially run outside to stop herself from screaming, ‘You did have the ambition, you just got suckered in by this stupid town.’

Melissa trudged her way over to the old barn. The familiar smell of damp wood, straw, and machine grease caused her brain to flood with memories. This had been where her and her brother had spent most of their time growing up. Once their chores were done, if they’d headed straight inside they’d have to start their homework, but if they stayed here it could be an hour or more before their mother came looking for them.

Melisa climbed the old staircase up to the hayloft. She sat down on a bale of hay where she could stare out the hoist door and out over the fields to the dam, as exhaustion began to catch up with her. She’d left after work yesterday, and had not arrived here till well after midnight. If this was a normal Saturday she probably would have slept in a little to catch up, but it wasn’t. She was back on the farm.

She’d heard her father getting ready for the morning and she was compelled to get up and help, dressing quickly and heading downstairs into the kitchen, socks in her hand. Her father was exactly as she remembered him, a big barrel-chested man with legs like tree trunks and strength permeating his every move. His hair was a little thinner and he had a few more lines on his face but his deep tan still remained. When he spotted her, wearing her old work clothes, he paused only for a moment before nodding.

‘Coffee’s on the stove. You do the barn and I’ll take the tractor out and do the fields.’ And with that, he’d turned and headed out to start work. Melissa didn’t know what she’d been expecting but somehow it wasn’t that. But at the same time, it was. Even if he hadn’t seen his daughter in ten years, her father had never been an overly emotional man.

She rested her head back against the hay bale and took a deep calming breath, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as she closed her eyes on the spectacular view. All she needed was a few minutes to gather her thoughts and she could go back in and help in the kitchen. She was leaving tomorrow anyway. The thought was comforting and she felt herself begin to doze.

‘Oy sis, wake up, no sleeping on the job!’ She felt the hay bale beneath her shift as if someone had kicked it as she struggled to open her eyes and focus on the person sitting next to her.

‘Mark?’ She mumbled her confusion.

‘The one and only! Never thought we’d be sitting up here together again, huh?’ He turned his dopey grin on her and she felt dizzy as she reached her hand out to stroke his face.

‘But you can’t be here.’ She muttered. ‘You’re dead.’

‘Correct. I am. And may I just say, not coming to my funeral? Harsh move sis.’ He mocked his eyebrows arching as his eyes danced with humor.

‘It wasn’t like that. I just, I couldn’t… If I’d come back I might never have left again.’ She stammered.

‘You do realize that that’s crazy right?’ He shrugged staring out over the golden sunset.

‘But you always said you were going to go to college and you never did. You just ended up back here working on the farm.’ He laughed as she spoke shaking his head.

‘I didn’t actually want to leave, sis. Not really. Even if I had gone to university I was only going to study business and agriculture to come back here. In the end, it didn’t seem worth the debt when dad could teach me most things I needed to know.’ Melisa was confused, she remembered him not going away to university but she couldn’t remember what he’d intended to study.

‘What about Tilly? She’d wanted to go to beauty school and she ended up back running her mother’s bakery.’ She asked the already chuckling Mark.

‘Tilly gave someone a first-degree burn when she was trying to wax them and made people cry with her haircuts. She much prefers baking. If she burns the croissants they don’t scream at her.’ He looked smugly at her daring her to contradict him.

‘How do you know so much about it? You spy on people from up there?’ She questioned.

‘Tilly told me herself. I believe the kids call it pillow talk.’ He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Melisa had to resist the urge to laugh with him.

‘So what are you trying to tell me?’ She asked. After all her dead brother was taking the time to visit her, which meant either she had snapped and gone crazy or there was something important he had to say.

‘I’m trying to say that you don’t have to be so afraid of getting stuck here. It’s not possible. We all choose to be here because that’s what we wanted. But since it’s not what you want, you could come and visit and your world would still be waiting for you.’ He spoke in earnest reaching out to hold her hand and Melisa found the warmth of his skin on hers soothing to her frayed nerves.

‘So you’re saying visit more?’ She teased. ‘That hardly seems worth all this trouble.’

‘Maybe not to you but this isn’t about you. It’s about dad. He’s alone now and he might need some help. Not with the farm, he’s got workers for that. I mean he’ll need some family around him to help him.’

‘He’s not exactly a fan of mine.’ Melisa mumbled staring and the muddy tips of her boots.

‘Are you kidding? He’s so proud of you. You should have heard him back in the pub in the old days telling everyone who would listen that his little Mel Bell was off studying to become a lawyer. It just hurt him when you didn’t come back to say goodbye to me. He’d promised mum you’d come. He felt bad.’ Melisa felt bad as well, she hadn’t seen her mother in person in ten years and now she was gone. She hadn’t seen her brother in almost five years when he had passed. Did she want the same to happen again with her father?

‘I guess you have a point.’ Melisa agreed tears she hadn’t realized she was holding back rolling down her face.

‘Do me a favor sis? Give Tilly a hug for me. Like you don’t have to tell her it’s from me, just give her a hug.’ He looked sheepish at his heartfelt request as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

‘Of course.’ She promised as he nodded his thanks. Gently he began to shake her by the shoulder, she looked to him confused as to what he was doing but when she blinked the light of the sunset vanished and she was in the dark barn and Tilly had her hand on her shoulder.

‘Sorry to wake you but, everyone’s starting to head out and your dad was looking for you.’ Tilly’s voice was laced with an apology as Melisa stood up brushing the straw from her clothes.

‘Thanks, Till.’ She responded, following the other woman down the ladder and out of the barn. Remembering her promise to her brother she pulled the other woman into a hug as they parted, Melissa heading inside while Tilly left. The house was empty now except for her dad sitting in his chair by the fire. He looked up as she came in.

‘Hey, I was getting worried you’d run off already without saying goodbye.’ He remarked offering her a glass of whiskey. She sat in the chair opposite him sipping her drink letting it burn down her throat.

‘Actually dad, I was thinking of calling work and seeing if I could get a week off. Hang around for a bit.’ She murmured.

‘You don’t have to do that.’ He muttered concern creasing his brows. ‘I know how desperate you are to get back.’

‘I know but I wouldn’t mind spending some time here if you’ll have me?’ She asked uncertainly.

‘I’ll always have you here, beautiful girl. As long as you want to be here.’ He answered earnestly affection sparkling in his eyes. She nodded at him. After all her brother was right. Some family time was exactly what they both needed.