Frozen Hearts

Erin, geared with a thermos of hot chocolate, walked through the snow toward her favorite spot in the world. The cool air felt like a balm to her heated emotions. Her brain had been boiling with frustration and disappointment for days and she had been on the verge of bursting before she decided to head out into the wintry mix. The incoming storm was forecast to bring intense winds and a fresh, burying layer of snow so it seemed best to get out for a bit now. She loved her cabin, and she loved the pond she was moving through the snow to, but she was not supposed to be there, alone, this weekend.

It was her Grandfather’s birthday weekend and the family typically used the celebration to gather for a mini reunion. Until a day ago Erin had been expecting and giddily anticipating this fun weekend with her favorite people, but Grandfather was in the hospital due to a fall and the generation older than hers decided no one should come to visit in order to allow him time to heal. Erin knew it made sense to cancel because, although he was generally healthy, any injury at Grandfather’s age should be treated with diligence, and he would never have stayed settled down if he knew the grand kids were in town. Erin’s sour mood lifted a little as she thought about all the trouble he was probably giving those around him for deciding to cancel. They would reschedule, but it was still disappointing in the moment, and the issues she was having with her boyfriend, Jeremy, did not help. The weekend away would have been a great distraction. Erin grumbled to herself in frustration as she reached the tree line of the green-in-the-summer belt which led to her pond.

Erin and Jeremy had met in college and had been happily dating for years, but he had been distant and irritable the past couple months. Some of Erin’s friends told her it probably meant he was preparing to propose, and that he was just worried about ruining the surprise and nervous, but this was not an excuse for the behavior in Erin’s opinion, and she had been reactive in kind, which made tensions more volatile.

Erin pressed her mittened hand to her jacket pocket where her phone was and thought about reaching out to him. Jeremy had initially planned to go to Grandfather’s celebration with her, as he had gone every year since they started dating, and she had not told him it was cancelled and that she had stayed in town yet. She was irritated at how he had, huffily, told her he had a work project deadline so he had to stay in town and miss the weekend away days before. Still, she wondered if she should text him and let him know. Maybe he could even come over before the storm hit and they could work things out. She was stubborn, but she missed him, and Grandfather’s injuries made whatever they were being immature about seem small. She decided she would let Jeremy know she was still in town after some time alone; time in contemplation with the glassy pond always seemed to mend her worries.

Erin had wanted to bring her ice skates but she was worried it had warmed up too much for the ice to be safe enough. This did not ruin her trek because she loved being at her pond in general, and taking the path through the trees, rather than going around like Jeremy would, felt like an adventure. Jeremy thought the brambles were creepy and he said he did not like the birds. Erin rolled her eyes at the thought. This was a sacred world hidden away for her.

The makeshift parking lot was visible through the bare trees before the pond was and Erin appreciated this vantage so she knew what, and oftentimes who, to expect. She preferred solitude at her pond so the truck parked in the little lot stopped her momentarily. Erin determined it should be fine since she did not plan to skate anyway and continued on. Most people did not know there was a cabin in the area since it was set back from the road, and since she walked to the pond she could mind her business without the visitor knowing she was there. She would linger in the trees and on the banks looking for birds her Grandfather had taught her about while warming herself with the hot chocolate she had brought. Erin briefly wondered if the vehicle’s owner knew how treacherous the ice could be here, but determined if they had made it this far, they must know the area.

Erin continued down the path listening to the chirps of creatures and snaps of twigs underfoot while the wind moved through the trees. She heard the people from the truck before she saw them. They seemed to be out on the ice, Erin hoped they were keeping close to the shoreline, and they were laughing. Erin smiled thinking of the times she and Jeremy spent on the pond, fishing in the summer and skating in the winter. Erin would always have to tell Jeremy to move away from the center when the ice was not as thick, and he would tell her she worried too much. And maybe she had been worrying too much; maybe she was making a bigger deal of Jeremy’s behavior than it needed to be. She was taking her mitten off to grab her phone when the pond finally came into view. The thermos dropped from her hand and plopped into the wet snow as she gasped. She stood frozen, unable to exhale the cry, or scream, which had caught in her throat.

Erin could point Jeremy out with ease and that was Jeremy, in the middle of the pond, clutching an unknown-to-Erin woman. He leaned in to kiss the woman and Erin took a step back, feeling the air finally leave her chest with force. She did not know whether to turn and run or shout and rush toward them.

Is this why he had cancelled with her family? Is this betrayal the reason he had been acting so distant? Why had he brought someone here, to their place, to her place?

Reason left Erin’s thoughts and she wondered if she was even seeing things clearly as she focused herself in time to see him turn, smiling, wearing a sweater she had bought him, as he spun the woman he was with around in a lazy circle. Something within Erin cracked, deeply aching, she was sure it was her heart, her breath pressed in and out ferociously, but then…

…a scream ripped through the brisk air…

and Erin realized it had not been her heart.

The ice had fallen under Jeremy’s feet.

The ice Jeremy had carelessly decided to share with this stranger had buckled, and Jeremy was waist deep in the gloom of it, his slipping grip unable to hold fast to anything. The woman skated in closer to him, shrieking as she reached out a hand, but the already fragmented ice gave way further under her. Erin started to move toward the flailing bodies as she reached for her phone again.

She stopped short of the tree line though, phone still in her pocket.

An eerie calm settled within and around her. The tears in her eyes stayed, obscuring her vision and the world seemed to lose its soundtrack as she watched.

Silence and fuzzy, struggling limbs reached desperately from the watery gap in her pond.

They were panicking, pulling at each other and the ice with no chance of gaining momentum while fighting the fear, cold, and each other.

Erin did not know how long she stood there, how long she watched them.

She had told Jeremy to be careful on the ice so many times before.

Birds that had also been startled by the commotion began chirping again and Erin released the breath she had not realized she had been holding. Her pond was peaceful. She blinked away the settled tears and peered curiously at the murky water from where she stood.

Nothing.

Erin took a step back then turned, picking up her thermos, as she moved back to her cabin to beat the storm.

Two days later, when it was comfortable to get out again, Erin grabbed her ice skates and went to her pond. The truck was still there. She took in the serene landscape, freshly frozen layers of ice glistening, and laced up her skates. The pond was stable, and she glanced down, wondering if she would catch glimpse of any wraiths.

After some time she went back to her cabin and warmed herself up with a mug of hot chocolate while she Facetimed her Grandfather to wish him a happy birthday. Then she called the police to report a vehicle with no occupants at the pond.