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Here's a story. Somewhere in a completely messed-up and bizarre universe, there dwelled a civilization of Soya Beings. They were highly intelligent and extremely educated folks. They had two legs, two hands, two heads, and three eyes. Their body was a bit hairy, and if anybody decided to beat their belly with a drumstick, they would hear a deep ringing sound. The drummed Soya Being would immediately become hungry upon hearing this ventriloqual calling and most probably would at once devour the hapless belly instrumentalist. So please don't even think of touching their fluffy bellies. The books on the history of Soya Beings civilization say that these creatures used to be represented by two distinct races: edamames and tofus. But Mother Evolution prudently blurred any distinctions between them as the existence of different races gives roots to racism.

There are many peculiar facts about Soya beings. But the most curious and probably quite terrifying one is the one about their eating habits. Soya Beings feed on human beans. "What's for dinner, mommy?" a little Soya girl would ask her mother. "Stewed human beans glazed with sweet and sour sauce, kiddo."

The Soya child would take her three-tine fork, alternately blink with her three large blue eyes, say her prayer, and start pronging juicy and tender lumps and putting them in her two mouths. Munch-munch. Chomp-chomp. Gobble-gobble. Gulp.