Forgiven

“It’s just an old barn,” the little boy said, as he watched the wrecking ball collide with the warped, weathered boards that wrapped around the fragile wooden structure in front of him. “I wonder what they’re goin' to put in its place. A baseball field?..Maybe they’ll put up a playground! Wouldn’t that be nice, grandpa?…Grandpa?”

“You’re right, son. It is just an old barn…,” the older man said solemnly, his pale gray eyes hidden by the wrinkles seizing his tired face.“Evan, come on over here and sit down with me…allow me tell you about this old barn,” he motioned with his leathery hand and pointed at a couple of old, moldy hay bales yellowed by the suns rays. The chestnut haired boy clumsily stumbled over to his grandpa, crunching the dried brown grass underneath his dirty sneakers. Hand in hand, they strolled over to the hay bales and collapsed on top of them. “What’d you want to tell me, grandpa?” Evan asked, meeting the old man’s melancholy eyes with his curious baby blues. “What’s wrong? Why d' you look sad?" He questioned.

“Evan…”the old man paused…”I want you to take a look at that barn and tell me what you see.”

Glancing at the barn, then back up to his grandpa’s eyes and back to the barn again, Evan felt confused. “Well, I just see somethin' old,” he began, “…I see a buildin’ that’s about to fall down. The roof is changin’ colors. It looks like it was silver at one point but it's got a lot of brown now. There’s a lot of holes in the walls…and look at all that grass growin’ up around it! The doors ain’t even on like they're supposed to be…one of them is layin’ on the ground broken.”

The old man let go of his grasp on the boy’s hand and patted him on the back. “Several years ago, I knew a man man; he was about 21 or 22 years old, I reckon. He didn’t have a whole lot, but he had his hands. There wasn’t much he couldn’t build with those hands…”he weakly moved his hands above his lap, flipping his palms up, and watching as they trembled underneath his gaze.“That man…” he started again, “He fell in love with a girl. He'd known her most of his life. She lived about three doors down from him, so they played together all the time. They grew up together... went to grade school together. She was always good to him even when he wasn’t good to her. I guess they were about nine or ten, maybe? But I recall he played a prank on her at school one day. We were outside for recess and just had a big downpour of rain, and the ground was covered in mud and us…boys, being boys… thought it might be fun to start a mud fight. We balled up thick clumps of wet red clay, in our hands, and launched them at one another with not a care in the world. It was like a battlefield! Chunks of mud flying past our cheeks as we tried to dodge ‘em; slippin' and slidin', around on the boggy ground as our hands and faces landed in mounds of sludge,” his voice dancing to life as he describes the scene to Evan, who is laughing from amusement. “Did y’all get in trouble for that?” Evan asked adamantly.

“Yeah,” Grandpa nodded, “Our teachers weren’t too happy with us but that wasn’t the worst part. Ya see, when we were walkin' towards the sidewalk, my buddy caught sight of the girl. She was, maybe, 8 feet ahead of him when he stomped in another puddle o' mud. He looked down an' not another thought, reached and grabbed a fistful of gooey clay and slung it all over her new, pink dress she'd worn to school that day. She turned around, grabbing the tail to her dress as tears began to whelp up in 'er eyes. Her face blushed, with embarassment, so bad that she couldn’t even look him in the face. She jetted back into the school buildin' and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the day. Normally, they would walk home together from school since they lived so close to each other. He waited for her for nearly an hour, but she didn’t meet him in their usual spot. He decided to go on home and as he walked down the gravel road, he could hear shoutin'. ‘I can’t believe you can be so careless! You know we can’t afford to get another one! You know better than to be climbin' those trees… it’s not what ladies are supposed to do! Wait 'til your father gets home, Lord knows, what he’s goin' to do.’ He knew he'd gotten her in trouble, and he also knew that she didn’t tell on him. His heart sank hearin' what was happenin' inside that house. She'd be punished and there wasn’t nothin' he could do about it; he would've gotten her in even more trouble if he'd confessed and her parents found out she lied to them. So, he walked on home and went to bed without eatin' dinner that evenin', eaten up by guilt.”

“What happened to 'er? Did she forgive him?" Evan asked impatiently. “I don’t think she was ever, really, mad at 'im,” Grandpa replied.“She didn’t come to school for...about a week? But when she did, she acted like nothin' happened. I can’t say the same for him. He was sittin' behind her while the teacher was taking the attendance, and he caught a glimpse of the purple bruises that were peekin' out underneath the sleeve of that mud stained, pink dress. He knew he caused it, and couldn't bring himself to even look 'er in the eyes, much less speak to 'er. He left her waiting in their meetin' spot after school that day, and the days followin'. Weeks went by, and that turned into months. Summer break came an' went, and a new school year was about to begin. She didn’t show up the first day…jumping up an' down from excitement…learning they'd be in the same class, again, that year. The day flew by, and he started his long walk home. As he passed by that rundown, yellow house he'd left her at so many times before, he noticed a ‘For Sale’ sign sittin' in front of it with big, red letters stampin' the word ‘SOLD’ over the top. The rusty old car he passed by many times before, didn’t sit in the driveway anymore. Baxter, the golden Cocker spaniel that greeted him, every day, trottin' down the fence line with him was gone. She was gone…” Grandpa’s voice trailed off.

Exasperated, Evan stated “I don’t see what that has to do with this barn, though?”, pointing at the dilapidated structure. Chuckling, Grandpa replied “I guess I ain't made it that far, yet?” He looked down towards the ground as he heard the wrecking ball striking the side of the barn again. Tearfully, he began again “A few years went by and the boy started becomin' a man. The land where his grade school once stood was sold; the community grew and they needed funds and more space to build a newer, bigger school buildin'. His daddy bought part of the land and cleared it to start farmin' on it. He quit school to help his family with the farm. He an' his dad put up a new barn. It took 'em several months to build it as it weren't but the two of 'em. It was a beauty, though!,” Grandpa said excitedly.“ They painted each board a deep, red and highlighted the trim with a white, so bright, it shined! The silver tin they placed on top was the highest-quality tin that they could afford. Anyone who passed by that barn was amazed by the craftsmanship that went into it. It was finally complete when they bought and moved their livestock into it. Goats, sheep, horses, cows…You name it, they had it! It was a dream their family had worked for, for so long.”

“What about the girl, though?” Evan asked, confused. “ I thought she had somethin’ to do with why the barn is so important?” Grandpa met his grandson’s question with a smile and responded “Why, she’s the most important part.”

“A few more years went by and the man had established himself as one of the most respected farmers in the county. His father had passed away, not long after the barn was finished, leavin' him as the man of the family. He worked hard to put food on the table for 'is mom and younger siblin's. He worked day in an' day out, raisin' crops, maintainin' fences, and carin' for the farm animals. He had little time for friends or datin'. It just wasn’t in the books for him, 'til one day, while he was milkin' one of the older cows; he heard a gentle tappin' on the front door of the barn. He stopped what he was doin' to go meet the source of the knockin' he'd heard. He opened the door of the barn and was knocked down, with whose eyes were starin' back at his. It was her! All the years that'd gone by since the mud ball war that day, at recess, an' he was finally able to look at 'er kind face and apologize for what he did. ‘I’m so sor-,‘ he stammered before she'd cut him off. ‘Don’t. I forgave you when you threw it. I forgave you when you walked by my house that day. I forgave you when you didn't speak to me…or even look at me. I forgave you when you stopped meetin' me so we could walk home together.’ She grabbed his hand with hers and clenched tightly, asking' ‘Do you forgive me?’ With confusion in his eye, the man, my friend, was speechless. He wasn’t sure how to answer, not understandin' why she'd need to be forgiven. Seein' the look o' confusion on 'is face, she continued, ‘Do you forgive me for leavin'? Do you forgive me for not writin' to let you know where I was? Or that I was okay?… Do you forgive me for lovin' you so much that it scares me that you won’t return my love?’ her voice started to tremble. Right then an' there, she fell into his arms. He'd waited so long to hold her like this. It was that moment, in that old barn," Grandpa pointed to the tumbling structure, "that he knew he'd spend the rest of his life with her.”

“Ew!” Evan said, disgusted. “Did they kiss, Grandpa? Did they get married?,” he asked. With a smile, grandpa replied “They did. They made a life, together, workin' the farm. His fondest memory, of 'er, was when she tackled him to the ground, with news that he was goin' to be a daddy, knockin' over the fresh stack of hay bales he'd just put away. Seein' the joy in her eyes that day was the most magnificent sight he'd ever seen,” he said, with sorrow.

“You see, Evan,” he continued, “It is just an old barn. An old barn I built with my own hands. A life I built with the woman, I love. All of our beautiful memories rest within those walls. My hands couldn’t save her when she got sick, so I had to sell our barn, to pay for the best care I could get 'er but even that couldn't save 'er. I don’t know if she'd ever forgive me for sellin' it.”

Evan reached to grasp his grandfather’s hand. “She forgave you when you did it. Do you forgive her for leavin'?”