Forgetting a Life

The contents of this script are confidential

Forgetting a life

Clifton Pratt

​

The credits roll and the screen is black. The sounds of music are heard over the names of actors.

CLOSE UP: ​Upper body and face of Colin. COLIN: ​ItwasMiranda

Says the voice of the bearded man who was fondling his glass of red at a table lit with candles in crimson glass receptacles.

​side angle between the conversationalist pair.

I loved her, I didn’t care when I was told at first because I knew it in my

heart that I had it.

​Colin gesticulates as he describes the time when he learnt of his

infection.

​I had heard it ringing in my ears.

EXTREME CLOSE UP: ​Extreme close up of Colin’s Face.

It was a deep impending doom that struck me as callously as a fist to the

jaw

​As Colin sips a quantity of red wine. It was Miranda who infected me

​

From the other aspect of Colin’s face.

She was a free spirit

Jane the councilor sits with an expression of deep concern and an intense stare. The flares of the table candle holders glare in the reflection of her glasses. Squarish and plain they sink into her face and relax along slender nose and tied back hair.

​As Jane reclines in her chair and unfolds her arms.

There are no other people at the restaurant and the music that plays is soothing for Jane the councilor, but it is just a mellifluous hindrance to the now deep, intensive and sustaining conversation.

​Side aspect of the upper part of Colin’s body as he speaks to Jane.

WIDE SHOT:

MID SHOT:

CLOSE UP:

MID SHOT:

CLOSE UP:

COLIN: ​I proposed to Miranda after six months of courting which was hurtful and unpredictable. She would taunt me with lines that made me know that I was not half the man she desired.

CLOSE UP:

CLOSE UP:

​Other aspect of Colin’s upper body.

I wondered if I would ever be able to please her and her response was

always nay.

​Other aspect of Colin’s upper body. I dearly wanted to please Miranda

She was wild, like desert flowers, her hair was orange like the sight of the sun after blinking. That would be the only thing that remained with me after glancing at the sun and HIV would be the only thing that would remain with me after her departure

This is beautiful? No?

Jane unfolded her arms in the dense climate of the light filled restaurant.

​Profile of Jane’s upper body.

​I think that you are telling me all of this in a very beautiful and compelling way. I wonder if you took the news as easily as you say. I’m concerned about you and what you’re going through.

CLOSE UP: JANE:

MID SHOT:

COLIN:

MIDSHOT: JANE:

MIDSHOT:

​Mid shot of Colin. ​Thank you for your concern

There wasn’t much to learn about life at the time when we left each other. I was overcome with jealousy and wanted Miranda back. I felt complete when we were lovers and wanted to be set free by every instilled moment. I could never please her though and the hatred of other men ran through my blood like a spur of hot metal, I was jealous

​Of Jane.

​Why did you maintain the friendship, or relationship?

​Of Colin.

COLIN: ​Solitude is completely aphrodisiacal. When one is alone it is the overwhelming blanket of solitude by which one recovers the need for intimacy. You see? It all gets to you like nonsense, then somehow I felt the need for it, again and again. I have a drive, yeah.

CLOSE UP: JANE: CLOSE UP:

​Jane.

​Has there been any existential angst for you since leaving that woman

​Colin.

COLIN: ​Yes there has, I died in that moment, that terrible bloody moment but now I am free. I was free with Miranda and felt in my heart that I was infected. I knew it and it was a resounding facet of my whole outlook on life

MID SHOT:

​Colin.

I am still learning every day, I contradict myself in that way, I sometimes am complete with no more advances into the enlightenment that is elevated in my consciousness and sometimes I feel that I am learning or exploring new ground. Its very funny

EXTREME CLOSE UP:

There is something final about all of this. Its ending, yeah?

CLOSE UP: Jane.

JANE: ​You still have years Colin

CLOSE UP: ​Colin.

COLIN ​Years, months, weeks, days It’s all relative. I just want to know the meaning in all of this you know

Colin sips a large quantity of his house red and leans over to the interviewer.

COLIN: ​I’m in love, and I am lonely. I am going to die alone and I know that there is nothing I can do about it.

CLOSE UP: JANE: CLOSE UP:

​Jane’s face. ​I will be here

​Colin’s face.

COLIN: ​Yes I know but you can’t die with me, no one can. ............................................................................................................ VOICE OVER:

COLIN: ​Miranda was glorious to me, Jane. WIDE SHOT: City street.

Miranda walks her bicycle around the street her hair dangling round her shoulder. Her low fitting piece is trendy in its making. Her dress is a sari like drape that interferes with the wheels of her bicycle. She pulls her clothing up around her knees and begins to ride down the street.

She sings and whistles a tune as she makes her way to the next destination. She

walks into her apartment from the street where she leaves her bicycle and picks up the telephone.

SPLIT SCREEN

CLOSE UP X2.

MIRANDA: ​There is no love between us anymore Colin, you have to understand that.

COLIN: ​But Miranda, We were thinking of children just before the time when you told me and you were talking of how glorious it would be to have some little ones.

MIRANDA: ​That can never be. It would have been possible but not now. Not anymore. If I had have been pregnant and healthy then I would have not wanted any of yours anyway. I would have aborted the conception.

COLIN: ​How could you say that? I just wanted to be with you and now we have this terrible, terrible illness.

MIRANDA: ​There’s no use laboring the points in which we have in common Colin. There’s no use for us, its over completely. You have to understand that I would like some time alone. This whole infection matter is really disturbing my peace of mind. I need to go away Colin.

COLIN: ​I have needs Miranda. I need you to be here for me.

MIRANDA: ​No, I have had enough of this. No more us Colin its over.

COLIN: ​Okay I see what you are saying but I have needs Miranda, I need companionship, someone to be with and to share my feelings as I walk down this path.

MIRANDA: ​I will speak to you Colin but we can’t ever be dependent on each other for support, those days are gone.

COLIN: ​You have taken away everything you realize. You bitch. I don’t have a life now. I have this semblance of an existence. No one to hold, you unreasonable woman.

CLOSE UP. Colin.

The phone begins to beep as Miranda hangs up on Colin. .........................................................................................................

In a pub in the busy city centre, Colin, two men and Jane all sit down. And begin an elaborate conversation about all things of value.

The two new men are gay and have each others arms around the

other. They are quite drunk at this point, everyone is.

VOICE OVER:

COLIN: ​I remember when I first told them.

WIDE SHOT: ​All players at a pub sitting down at a table.

ANTON: ​cheers erupt when you are here my friend. There is nothing that can compare to sheer hedonism. It’s the most precious thing. Aside from all of that crap and nonsense here have a drink with me while we are here in the moment.

VOICE OVER: Colin.

COLIN:

​I love him. He is my best friend. He’s a downright queen and I am straight as a dye, its just that no one thinks the same as anyone, and no one thinks the same as me. Although he comes close to reading my thoughts. Being a presence that comforts me while I am sick. I have forgotten my life, Jane, but when Anton is here and we are all a little tipsy I can feel that I am losing my fear and I am forgetting that I am dying.

The two homosexual men start to speak to each other and signal for a waiter.

​Caleb. They all laugh.

VOICE OVER. Colin.

COLIN: ​When I told them they cried. They were overcome with sorrow because they knew exactly what was going on in my life at the time and they knew that the scenario with Miranda was doing my head in.

MID SHOT: ​Anton.

ANTON: ​Caleb and I would like you to know that we want to be with you through this toughest part of your life. We will always be together, even when all of this has finished. In the next life we will all be together once more. Here have a drink.

MID SHOT: ​Caleb.

CALEB: ​Apart from all the philosophy I think we are inseparable. We drink to be merry and we are. I am drunk. You are drunk. We are all drunk. We are friends and always will be.

MID SHOT: Jane.

JANE: ​Thank you for inviting me into this group. I feel like I have been accepted and it’s really nice to know you all. Hopefully the future will hold many new surprises and be fortuitous for us all.

MID SHOT:

CALEB: ​Champersanyone?

CLOSE UP: ​Caleb.

CALEB: ​Ill drink to that.

MID SHOT: ​Colin.

COLIN: ​So will I. And so should we all.

MID SHOT: ​Anton.

ANTON: ​What’s on your mind Colin? You look bad. Not ugly just like your letting fear get the better of you and I want to know why?

CLOSE UP: Colin.

COLIN: ​It’s Miranda again. I think I should just forget about her.

CLOSE UP: Anton ANTON: ​Forgetabouther.

CLOSE UP: Caleb.

CALEB: ​Remember her, but for Gods sake don’t talk to her. MID SHOT: Jane.

JANE: ​It’s great to have times with people who are with us but don’t let those who can’t be here get in the way of that.

CLOSE UP: ​Caleb.

CALEB: ​Don’t let her ruin tonight.

MID SHOT: Colin

Colin begins to sob.

COLIN: ​She’s ruined my life for crying out loud. And there’s no one that can take me out of this dark deep hole that I am in.

MID SHOT: Anton.

ANTON: ​Don’t despair. Please try to hear us Colin. CLOSE UP: Colin.

COLIN: ​I’m here to be alone just like with everything. This isn’t life this, is hell. ............................................................................................................ WIDE SHOT: Colin

Colin walks around his home room and throws a vase at the wall. It smashes a mirror.

CLOSE UP: Colin.

COLIN: ​Dear Father, please forgive me for my sins. I pray to you Lord, that you may offer me redemption from my sins and grant me peace and eternal life. When I die I want to return to your presence in heaven Lord. Amen.

Colin proceeds to pick up the phone and rings Jane.

COLIN: ​Sniff, Sniff, Its Colin here. Is this a good time to talk? SPLIT SCREEN. Colin and Jane.

JANE: COLIN:

JANE:

COLIN:

JANE:

COLIN:

JANE:

COLIN:

​Yes Colin, I always have time for you, you know that right?

​Yes, Yes, Its just that I’m very fucking full of fear of Satan right now. I have never thought that there was a God until now. I’ve been an idiot Jane, what should I do?

​Just relax Colin, take a few deep breaths and relax. Close your eyes and listen. If you want to pray you can pray.

​What if my sins, Jane what if my sins come back to get my after I leave this world? What will I do then? In hell? I don’t want that at all. (laughs with tears in his eyes).

​I’m not a religious guide Colin but if you want to you can just pray to the Divine Creator and he will grant you peace. Don’t pray for the sake of fear Colin, try to do it because you love god.

​I love god. That’s right, now I have to go and get my rosary beads, no no wait I need to self flagellate, just because I love god and I know that god loves me.

​Settle down Colin. It’s no use being dark and sarcastic. Be free in this time and moment. Try to find God and with in him peace.

​Yes, Yes, Hallelulia, I’ve found it.

Colin raises his hands into the air and starts to really speak in tongues. He’s now trying to do whatever he can to please God.

COLIN:

​ Shamalagamala, ishmababulalamad supularemerla shamagamala

JANE: ​Colin, are you there, are you ok? I’m coming over, are you alright? Can you hear me?

......................................................................................................

Verdant greenery expands from the stumps of trees and bush and wildflowers congregate around each other in the dense forest. Colin and Jane are walking.

WIDE SHOT: Colin and Jane.

COLIN: ​This is where everything gets brought into perspective Jane. I become aware that I am alive and not dead yet. I feel that I am a primal man with a spiritual side. I ponder the meaning of all of this out here. Do you ever get that propinquity Jane?

MID SHOT: Jane.

JANE: ​Yes, I am drawn into your thoughts and feelings Colin. I feel you. I feel like I am a member of a species out here and not a part of a systemized regime. You know like a mechanical part of a robotic procedure.

MID SHOT: ​Colin.

COLIN: ​Yes, like an arm or a leg of a robot, a money making, earth pillaging, robot.

CLOSE UP. Jane.

JANE: ​The Earth is becoming rather putrescene with all of this technology and industry. It’s only out here that we can loose sight of our ingenuity as beings of discovery we have to cope with nature once more.

MID SHOT. Colin.

COLIN: ​Fuck, nature is a killer, its killing me. This virus is so strong that no machine or chemically engineered effect can alter the progress of the AIDS Virus. It’s a highly evolved killer Jane. For once in my life I don’t want nature to win.

MID SHOT: Jane.

JANE: ​Don’t be afraid Colin, Science is amazing and they could find a cure one of these days it’s not out of the equation.

..........................................................................................................

​Colin begins to write a letter to Miranda. There is a voice over as Colin proceeds to write his thoughts down to Miranda.

MID SHOT: Colin writing letter.

COLIN: ​Deep within the caverns of my heart I need you to unlock me from this loneliness, shame and sorrow. I am needy. There was something between us that no one can ever take away. I haven’t forgotten you and I don’t intend to. Deep within the beat of my heart I feel strongly towards you. I respect you and wonder why it is that you no longer want to see me.

​Life has always been simple. It’s always been that way for me. Now things are more complex than they need to be. I feel that you could be the one to set me free from my suffering. I am a complex case I admit that but I desire relief from this agony. It’s a favor that I am asking and I am asking that you would submit and be a dear friend to me during this painful time.

​

​I know that one day I will die from this horrid epidemic, but I want someone to be with me when I die. I also would like to extend my support for you and I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what happens. I will care for you while you are sick and will devote my time to your needs if you should so desire my company.

​I am wondering what it is that I need from all of this. Only god knows the answer. Take care Miranda may you have a fruitful existence and find sanctuary in the elevated spiritual awareness that you have.

........................................................................................................... Colin and Anton are walking along the splendid coastline. Waves crash on the shoreline as the travel along the extending sandy shore.

............................................................................................................

WIDE SHOT: ​Colin and Anton are so far away from the camera as they begin walking down the coast that they appear as small as specs, then, gradually they become more visible and walk closer towards the camera.

COLIN:

ANTON: COLIN:

ANTON:

COLIN:

​My postcard to Miranda has been returned. We have cut off our ties completely, this has caused a breakdown in an emotional way.

​How long have you known her?

​It seems like a millennia however sometimes she is so strange to me that I feel like I don’t know her at all.

​I wonder if we can ever know another person, I mean, can we ever fully understand how another someone thinks, feels and registers or comprehends a situation?

​Mood floods in like waters from a spring. The walk on the beach for you is different to the walk on the beach for me.

ANTON: ​I believe we share a common thread.

COLIN: ​I know Miranda. She disregards me and when I am with her I am subservient to her time.

ANTON: ​It’s not good to let others walk over you.

COLIN:

ANTON:

COLIN:

ANTON: COLIN:

ANTON:

COLIN:

​This postcard, its return only strengthens the point that she has no respect for me and our friendship. It’s just an action that speaks louder than words. I’m angry and feel ripped off by all of this.

​Is there anything more you can do to regain contact with her? Has this episode confirmed the thoughts you were having earlier about her disregarding your life, wanting her own space, and leaving it finally at that, fini.

​Yes, It’s over, I’m sure of that now. It’s all over for me and its all over for us. My life has ended, It’s being forgotten, now that she isn’t my lover she is actively taking part in the repudiation of our friendship.

​Memories are good Colin. They let us know who we are.

​I un-remember them everyday. They twist and conspire to take away the verisimilitude. I only see this coastline. My footprints in the sand. The shells, the spray of crashing waves, the pristine dreamlike spectacle of boats like dreams or images from a painting.

​You’re a beautiful thinker. Its not over for you.

​I am no one, I am not even here anymore, I am forgetting a life.

Screen goes black.

Music starts to play as the credits roll.