Forever Imprinted on My Mind

You and me. Me and you. Days full of adventure. Days so full of spontaneous adventures that we never had to worry about what we were going to do that day; you always had it covered. From curling up under the covers to a good movie to running barefoot in the rain, you always had it covered. God, James. Why'd it have to end so soon? Why'd you have to end so soon? I always thought that would be my forever. You'd be my forever. Never would I have thought those adventures would eventually come to an end. Dammit James. Why'd you have to go and ruin such a beautiful thing? Why'd you have to be so selfish, James? It was supposed to be me and you. Me and you, James. Forever imprinted on my mind will be those amazing adventures you always managed to pull out at the most convenient times. Dammit James. You really did have me hoping for a forever with you. You really had me sitting on my bed, praying for your next text message... wondering where you were going to take us next.

God, I still remember that last day. Our last day. I was so eager to hear from you, James. So damn eager. Five hours have already gone by and you still haven't texted me back. Not even one of those stupid little good morning texts I loved so much. Never would I have ever thought to think anything of it. 'Maybe he just forgot,' I'd tell myself as I tried to push you off my mind. 'Maybe he got called in for work this morning,' were the words I kept telling myself over and over. Any excuse I could come up with for you, I thought of that day. Any excuse I could have come up with would've been better than the true reasoning. James, how could you? You. Out of all people, how could you? I had finally thought I found myself one of the good ones, James. I finally was able to believe in love once again. I told my best friend that you were definitely the one. My mother was obsessed with you; always joking about how my father was never twice the man you were. Goddammit James, how could you do this? Why would you do this? I thought I was the only girl you had on your mind. You said that. You used to always tell me how you could hear wedding bells every time I would smile. What happened, James? Was it me? Did I get too boring for you, James? Was I too tiresome? Oh, the things I'd do just to replay everything all over again. Oh, what I would do just to have that chance to go back in time and tell the old me not to fall too hard for the new boy.

I hope you're happy, James. You broke me. You broke every part of me. I gave you my heart to mend back together and you just proved yourself like all the rest. Oh James. You were what I once would've described as special. A dream come true. The missing piece to a long-running puzzle I spent years trying to find. Oh James. Why'd you have to be like all the rest?

Now I found myself laying across my bed, scrolling through old photos of you and me that I never found myself to gain the courage to delete just yet. An old video popped up from the afternoon we spent in the park. You insisted on recording us running through the rain; something about I wouldn't want to ever forget about this day. It was the day you first told me you loved me, James. I couldn't forget it if I tried. A tear found itself escaping down my cheek. A text popped up on the top of my screen.

"I just want to talk, babe."

It was you. My mind told me to ignore it, but the curiosity got ahead of myself as I found my thumb sliding up to open the unread message.

"Why?" I found myself answering back.

Oh shoot. Here we go again..