For the sake of her

He shouldn’t have done it. We don’t steal from our own, it isn’t what we do. In this ‘new world’ we have no laws, no one to keep the peace among the poor. The ‘rich’ left us here as soon as things started going wrong. We knew it was coming, but we didn’t know when. As soon as the wars began, all the leaders left, along with those that had the money to buy ticket to go with them. It was like doomsday, only with man made technology instead of beaming lights from the sky. Several rockets and ships left. I don’t know where to. Hell I’m still on this damn planet. Could be worse I guess, I could be dead.

I hold some power here. Second in command to Justin, he’s a jerk, but a great friend to have these days. Ruthless, but cares for his own. We met in New York not long after it happened. The wars had just started, we both had no one left, all gone or dead. Within a year the wars had stopped, and it had become a fight or die world. We will never be weak. Hell, I’ve killed three people over the last month, it’s great training I suppose. It’s how I became second in command. You cannot be weak; we protect ours. Our ‘lands’ spread over several blocks. We have a steady supply of food and medicines brought in by our runners. Our lands are clearly marked, we don’t like trespassers, they bring risk and always try to challenge us. Its less likely for people stumble through anymore, we made our message loud and clear. Those that used to try to come through, we kill.

Justin had noticed that the supplies were moving, and numbers were dropping in what we had. The group always kept to rations, we made sure we had equal amounts for us all. But someone was stealing from the group, maybe keeping it for themselves or planning to leave. We let people leave; but not with our stuff. Justin was heated. He began watching everyone, all the time. Waiting for them to mess up, I knew he would kill who ever it was. Rightly so. It was a Thursday when they finally slipped. Thinking everyone had gone to bed I’d gone down to get water, Tony was there, backpack being filled with water and food. He didn’t see me, I slowly backed away. This was Justin’s war not mine; Justin was the one that needed to set an example. I went to wake him up and told him what I had seen. I knew how it would end, but I had no intentions of losing Justin’s trust. Not now, not when I am so secure in this crappy world.

He woke everyone up. Yelling at the top of his voice, he had seen red, and no one would have been able to stop him doing what we all knew he would. Within minutes Tony’s lifeless body was laid in the middle of the floor, face swollen, broken and blood splatted everywhere. We all had watched Justin beat him to death. Like it was nothing, like another living life is nothing anymore. But we all understood, he had stolen from us.

The next day we headed out, we needed to check the perimeters, to check that we were still in control of the land, and which way we wanted to extend into. That’s when I saw her. She was dainty looking. Fiery red hair. In the bakery across the street from where we were. The sun was reflecting from something on her chest, straight into my eyes. God, how stupid can she be, I hope whatever she has is worth it, it’s about to get her killed. If the others saw her, she would be dead within moments. For a second, I could have sworn she had put a trance on me without her even knowing. She didn’t even notice I had saw her. It’s like I had this stupid urge to protect her with everything in me. I must distract them, to save her. Instincts hit me, without thinking I looked the other way and saw clouds in the distance. I can lie. I pointed over to them and away from her. It could be smoke, I can convince them that its smoke and could be another group, a threat. They fell for it and set off in the opposite direction. I looked back to where my heart was stolen, to see nothing but an empty window space. I want to see her again I do; I wonder what her name is, was she by herself…did I just put my whole group in danger for a girl. Maybe I don’t want to see her again.

That night was the worst night’s sleep I had ever had. All because of her. The second I closed my eyes I saw the fire red burning through my eyelids. Her face was there but through a hazy fog. I could hear Justin yelling, just like he had with Tony, like I had seen him a thousand times. Then suddenly she became clear, and she was right in front of me. With Justin behind her with a knife to her throat. Before I could save her or tell him to stop. Her thick red blood covered her like a tsunami. The light from her eyes gone as she fell onto me. I woke up in cold sweats and shaking. Get out of my mind.

Fresh air had always helped steady my mind. Its rare to cross anyone at 3am outside. Its silent in the city, which feels like worlds away from how it used to be. The night sky is littered with stars in the dark. Only a few of the streetlights had managed to remain on. It was refreshing to just exist sometimes, without feeling prayed on. It felt like I was there for an eternity in a daze of the new world, my dream and tiredness. When I was pulled out of it all. Someone was watching me; I could feel eyes burning into me. I looked around fast, not seeing anyone. Then behind me to see whether anyone else was just struggling to sleep. No one. An outsider maybe? I strained my eyes down both sides of the building, it was only after a second look that I saw movement. God, I wish people would stick to daytime if they wanted to try a takeover. I grabbed my baseball bat. Its rare that I need more than that to take a couple of others out. I walk down to the alleyway where I had thought I had seen someone. It was silent and still. But I could feel someone nearby. I don’t want to fight right now, I am tired. But protecting the group is always priority. I yelled out for them to run and I wouldn’t kill them. It wasn’t a lie; I mean they wouldn’t get far, and we could hunt them down tomorrow. But again, no movement. They had to be stupid to not take my advice. I walked down the alley slowly. I had to be sure that it wasn’t a trap, that I was going to be attacked from behind. I was near the end, they had to be behind the bins, either that or I had simply lost my touch.

That’s when I saw her.

The fire red hair that I had dreamt about now looking brown in the dark. In a ball next to the bins, hoping she hadn’t been seen. I moved the bin and she looked at me like a deer in headlights. Like I had just ripped her away from a safe place and put her in the middle of danger. I froze. What am I to do? Why is she here? Oh God. Why is she here! She didn’t move. I didn’t move. I have never felt so…scared. Not in this world. I have no fears, no weakness. But now she is in front of me. And suddenly that stupid urge to save her is back.

It felt like a lifetime before I remembered how to talk. I think she had forgotten how to as well. Either that or the fear had got stuck in her throat. I asked if she was alone and all she could manage was a nod. I knelt next to her; she can’t fear me, it’s not what I want. This seemed to prompt her to talk. She told me her group had been killed and she had lost her path and had no one. She was desperate and sad. So sad. Then she exploded into tears, as though she had just rewatched those she was with dying. She was saying she didn’t want to do it anymore; she didn’t want to be in this stupid world. Her whole body was shaking. She began begging to die. Pleading for me to just end it. I should, the group will. She shouldn’t be here. I can’t. I wanted to scoop her up and tell her that it would all be fine, but that is a lie. I was froze just watching her break, observing every part of her as she did. Her tears were flooding down her cheeks, some dripping off her chin until her head fell back against the wall. Then they began a steam down her neck. Pitting at the object I had been blinded by the first time I had saw her. A silver heart-shaped locket. It had definitely seen better days with a couple of dents in the top of it. This was the most human I had felt since all of this began. I could have sworn the world had stopped moving. I cannot let anyone hurt her. But we don’t accept newcomers. It could all be a trap; it could get them all killed. If I don’t kill her, Justin sure as hell will. What am I supposed to do?

It felt like hours before I moved. I stood up and it made her jump. Like she had forgot I was even still there. She looked hopeful when she asked if this was the end for her. I told her no. I told her I would do my best to make sure she would be ok. Even as I said it, I knew it was a reach. How the heck am I going to do this. I took her hands and pulled her up. I guided her out the alley and realised that I hadn’t let go of her hand. Once I had let go, I realised just how nervous I was. Is there anyway I can hide her, or do I just tell Justin and hope he doesn’t kill us both?

Once we got inside the building, I realised it was too late. No going back. I have to do this with confidence. This is fight or die for us both and, after all I’ve been through, I am not dying today. I poked Justin with the end of my baseball bat to wake him up. It took a couple of tries, the first one was light, as part of me had hoped he wouldn’t wake up. Once he had, at first, he was in a daze. He hadn’t really noticed her yet. I opened my mouth to talk, and nothing came out, I had hesitated. The moment of opportunity had passed. He was awake and yelled profanities at me before I had the opportunity to plead my case. He stood up and lunged at her. My body moved before my mind had caught up with the moment. He was fighting for the groups safety and I was fighting for her. We were similar built and can both hold our own in a fight. We both took equal blows before becoming exhausted. Neither of us would win that night. No one was dying tonight.