Five more minutes

A gentle breeze waltzes through the tattered walls of my fortress, swirling cool night air amidst a blanket of humidity. Specks of dust swirl through the moonlight in shimmering rivers, dancing among waves of fresh evening air. Glorious notes of rose and lavender drift in from mother's garden. For just a moment, the world feels at peace.

My mind wanders to a world of glittering faeries. They flutter and twirl through the old barn, adorned in glamorous gowns of gossamer petals, filling my musty wooden palace with the scent of spring and new life. Vines spring up around me, bursting with the sweet scent of golden rosebuds. Fireflies burst forth from the golden blooms, erupting in a fountain of twinkling lights. The barn is enveloped in a soft golden glow, trouncing all traces of darkness. I could live in this moment for eternity.

The nearby howl of a coyote shatters my beautiful dreamscape, dragging me back to the dim reality of my present predicament.

If only people could start over each year… a fresh bud of existence to begin anew.

I nestle deeper into my cocoon of blankets and hay as the evening chill begins to set in. I would rather freeze out here than go back inside while father is in one of his “moods”. That’s what mother calls them anyway. I’m old enough now to understand that being wasted isn’t a mood, but mother won’t hear it. She’s always making excuses for him.

With an exasperated sigh, I turn my attention upward to a splattering of jagged holes in the roof. After we sold off the livestock father gave up on repairing this crumbling old barn, but it still feels more like home to me than anywhere. I built my little safety nest under the “skylight” to remind me that there's a galaxy of possibilities outside this run-down farm, this run down life.

The night sky is alive with millions of shimmering stars, reminiscent of the fireflies in my daydream. Is it still a daydream if you have it at night? Maybe it’s more like a wish…. or a happy place. Yeah, that’s it.

Granny always said you need at least one happy place to keep you sane out here in the boonies, even if it’s not real. The endless sea of prairie stretches to the horizon and beyond, as far as the eye can see. A girl could lose herself in these endless skies.

The gentle patter of feet creeps up behind me and I freeze. Blood pumps loudly through my temples as the fear creeps up my spine.

A familiar form glides out of the shadows and relief floods my veins as Felix saunters over to flop down beside me. He rests a reassuring hand on my shoulder as he snuggles in closer. The familiar warmth of his embrace is a balm on my shaken nerves. These are the moments I treasure most; a glimpse of pure unconditional love.

“Can we stay here forever?” I whisper as a small tear escapes to roll down my cheek.

MRRROW Felix replies, nuzzling his downy forehead against my moistened cheek. For a cat, he always seems to know just what to say. Felix has been my constant companion and emotional support in the turbulent three years since I found him. It may be more accurate to say that he found me.

I was laying in this very spot when a tiny plaintive cry nearly scared me out of my skin. Felix had snuck right up and made himself at home on the edge of my make-shift bed. His tiny black and white form was nearly invisible in the dim moonlight. All except for those eyes. His huge gleaming green eyes latched onto my heart and never let go. We’ve been inseparable since the day he adopted me.

My eyes begin to flutter as the late hour makes itself known. Stifling a yawn, I pull Felix closer to keep us both cozy and warm. My fuzzy heater relishes the attention, purring loudly as I tuck a blanket around us.

“I know, I know, we need to go inside” I mutter, both to Felix and myself. The house has gone quiet and dark. Father must have finally gone to bed or at least passed out. Staring up into the vast universe of possibilities I whisper to Felix “maybe five more minutes”.

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