Finding Mr. Wrong (1)

Cambridge, UK - 2012

Sara let out a long sigh that was a mix of resignation and sadness. ..mostly sadness.

‘I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. How does someone put that much effort into things and then just…I mean someone with a job like his. Like, you know, he literally saves lives, works 23 hour shifts and he woud still make time to come over and go out with me knowing full well he would have to get up at six a.m.the next morning for work.’

‘I know sweetie, he does seem genuine though. From what I’ve seen he does seem like a really, good decent guy.’ Hattie replied sympathetically from the couch, watching her friend torment herself. It did seem a rather abrupt change in his feelings but Hattie wasn’t unhappy to see Eric gone.

‘I know! And that’s the fucking problem! He’s kind, thoughtful, has his shit together, he’s sweet, and god, so fucking hot – those abs! I mean for the love of God, he helped me organize our trip to Nice! He spent a week on the beach in France with us! Who does that and then just buggers off?’

‘Maybe it really is just the timing like he said. Remember, you said yourself it’s better to leave things positively than struggling through six months and maybe ending up hating each other.’

‘What else could I say? I told him I was up for trying to make things work and he decided he wanted to focus on his training for the next six months. Off to police school or whatever it is. He didn’t want to try; that’s the only way I can interpret that. Six months and a two-hour drive is nothing to me. One of my ex’s lived in a God-damned different country and we made it work…for a while anyway.’

She rotated and gracelessly flopped facedown into a pillow.

‘Logic brain knows that if he wanted to make it work he would have. If he liked me enough he would make it work.’

She paused. Hattie could sense Sara’s mood changing again.

‘But that’s where the sending me fucking messages the day after he ends things like nothing has happened has fucked with my head.’ Her tone was bitter and angry.

‘Ya, that would mess with me too. He shouldn’t have done that if he wanted to end things. It’s a bit cowardly. Ending it via text rather than calling you is really cowardly.’

‘Exactly! I mean was that him trying to say “I don’t want to cut off communications with you”? In which case why not just carry on talking to me, half the time he’s away as it is anyway and I’ve never complained. And then when I send him a quick “Heya! Hope your first couple days of training of gone well” I get completely blanked.’

‘But didn’t you say you didn’t want him to text you everyday, that that would be worse for you?’ Hattie ventured, trying to insert a bit of reason while remaining a good, I’m-on-your-side friend.

‘Ya, but that was a load of bullshit. That was me trying to be tough. If he called and said hop on the next train to Southampton I would, which is completely fucked up of me, I know, but I would. God what is wrong with me?’

‘Nothing’s wrong with you. He’s just the first guy that has been supportive and treated you nicely in a long time and you really like him. But he’s not the only one out there.’

‘Really? Because I’ve never clicked with someone like that before. I don’t go around inviting guys I’ve just started dating to holidays on the bloody French Rivera and shack up with them in villa with my friends and co-workers. Just everything was so easy and going so well…other than his work schedule.’

‘And maybe it will calm down and he’ll reach out to you.’

‘Ya, maybe, but he won’t. If a guy wants it to work, if he wants to talk to you, he makes it happen. That’s just it.’ Sara paused, threw her head back and looked at the ceiling, willing the tears back into her eyes. ‘What did I do wrong?’

‘Nothing! You did absolutely nothing wrong. It just didn’t work out.’

‘I just don’t understand why. If I knew for certain if it was actually because of work or if it’s because his feelings had changed it would be a lot easier, but I can’t ask that now, not without looking like a psychopath.’ She let out another long, dejected sigh. ‘This is karma; this is definitely karma for every guy I’ve ever broken up with. I finally meet one that ticks all the boxes and he breaks up with me.’