Finding Hope

Grey snow had started to fall around them and the dirt was already sludge under their boots. Annalise shuddered, pulled her coat tighter around herself, and watched Tabby do the same. This winter was proving to be the worst one yet. The June air was bright against their noses and ears. They hadn’t found any balaclavas on the last run through the old town. They hadn’t found much of anything. Scavenging was becoming less of an option every day.

‘It should be just up here,’ Tabby pointed ahead. Beyond a mound of dirt was the stream they were looking for. It used to be a river, it even had fish. It wasn’t a trickle anymore, just a group of puddles connected by strings of water. The bank was muddy and sloped down a meter or so.

‘I guess it’s no good,’ Annalise sighed.

Tabby still took her bottle from her bag and jumped over the bank. Her feet sank down into the mud, covering her boots. She crouched down to collect what she could. ‘It’s alright if there’s a bit of mud in it, the filter will clear it out.’

Annalise put her pack on the ground and rummaged for her own bottle. ‘Do you think we can collect some of the snow?’

‘Probably not,’ Tabby sighed, screwing the lid back on. ‘There might be some of the muck in it.’ Muck. Annalise hated that she wouldn’t just call it radiation.

‘We can’t filter that?’

‘Nope, not with the equipment we have.’

Annalise sighed and unscrewed the lid of her own bottle. She handed it down to Tabby who swapped with her. She put the bottle back in her bag.

‘I know that you’re tired.’

‘I’m okay.’

Tabby came back up the bank and sat down on the ground beside where Annalise was crouched. ‘I don’t mean that sort of tired.’ She rubbed Annalise’s back and leaned her chin on her shoulder. Annalise let her head fall onto Tabby’s.

‘I’m okay.’

Tabby pushed in closer until her lips were against Annalise’s neck. She started to say something but her words were muffled. The feeling of her breath against Annalise’s neck had her giggling and she gave her nudge with her elbow. ‘I can’t hear you.’

Tabby laughed as she pulled back before pressing a kiss to her cheek. ‘I said, do you remember what we planned before? Back when everything was normal, remember? We said that we were going to buy a house, adopt a kid, have a family, grow old. All of that. We can still do that. It’s not even any harder, we just have to find a house instead of buying it.’

Annalise felt her heart beating. ‘Okay, but it’s not like adoption agencies are exactly functional right now.’

Tabby started to rock side to side. ‘I know, but there’s always kids who need help. Always has been, always will be.’ The wind picked up and washed over them, carrying the smell of wet grass. It couldn’t penetrate the warmth the two had built up huddled together. ‘Especially now.’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. Do you still think we can help them?’

Tabby nodded. ‘But not while we’re sitting here. Come on, time to go.’ She patted Annalise’s side before she stood up, pulling Annalise with her.

‘Hang on, just two seconds.’ Annalise pulled her polaroid camera from her bag.

‘You still have that thing?’

She didn’t answer, instead, pointing it at Tabby. ‘Okay, smile!’ Tabby rolled her eyes, but she put on a big grin. The photo printed itself, and she handed it to Tabby while it developed. She was back to rummaging through her pack until she pulled out a pair of scissors.

‘You brought a camera and scissors on a trip to get water?’

‘Yeah.’ The photo had developed. Tabby stood in the middle with a big grin, surrounded by the dark clouds. Maybe in another time it would be considered ominous, but Annalise would always think about the fact that they were going to build a life together. Nothing was going to stop that. They wouldn’t let it.

She pulled a heart shaped locket out from under her layers of clothes. The metal was warm in her hands, but quickly growing cold in the air.

‘You’ve been wearing that the whole time?’

‘Yeah.’ She opened it, the empty frame staring back. She’d been meaning to fill it for years, but it had never felt quite right. She cut the polaroid into a little heart and stuck Tabby into the heart. She stuffed it back into her shirt were the cold metal rested beneath her collar bones, making her shiver. ‘Okay, lets go! We’ve got a lot of work to do if we’re going to get a house.’