Fauns in your Area?

A/N: This is a satirical piece written in the format of a pamphlet. A little bit of social commentary to make the reader think - I'd love to hear what it means to you in the comments! Happy reading!

There have been an increasing number of widespread reports detailing the presence of mythical creatures in your area over the last 10 years. While many have accepted the presence of these animals, some realise the true threat that they pose to modern society. None more so than the Faun, a most troublesome creature - half goat, half human - that utilises modern disguises to infiltrate into innocent human neighbourhoods. But, thanks to the new department of social defence, you can now play a role in the peaceful relocation of the faun population.

People think that identifying a faun is easy, but it is not so. While it is certainly not an art to spot a horn's rigidity through a winter hat, nor to see the hoofprints following a person in a long dress, these hastily covered fauns are usually visit human areas for no more than a day.

It is those fauns who choose to take up residence in human towns and cities that pose a real threat to the human populace. Unfortunately, these fauns can be much harder to identify...They may even be amongst you already.

That friend who spends far too much money on wax strips? Faun.

That co-worker with the ridiculously high updo? Faun.

That person who is particularly hardheaded? Definitely a faun.

It must be known, however, that the dangers of fauns lie not in their infiltration of human areas, but in their radical ideas.

It is a common belief in faun 'society' that humans are a destructive force that destroys 'valuable' wilderness with our infrastructure. They believe we should cease our pursuit of comfort and change to one of ecological balance.

That's right, if these fauns had it their way, they would use their knowledge of wild areas to grow their territory into ours! Our streets would be paved in flower crowns, and shed horns. Pan flute music would play all night, hypnotising us into slumber, and (perhaps worst of all) the fauns could see themselves as equal to both nature and humans - all on the same level.

Naturally, the Order for the Acquisition of Feral Fauns and Satyrs (OAFS) believes that these creatures would be much happier if relocated into an OAF-controlled nature reserve. There, they are free to enjoy a life of circumscribed happiness, away from savoury human society. They are free, at these reserves, to play the pan flute as loud and as long as they wish, to gallop around without shoes or socks, and to exercise their right to free speech in private.

Doesn't that sound fun?

Therefore, the OAFS strongly encourage you to call our department at [034 - 555 - ****] to report any local sightings of fauns in your area.

Remember NATURE:

• No Trousers
• Affinity for flower crowns
• Tall Hats
• Unnatural ankles
• Radical ideas about nature
• Erratic behaviour (e.g. kicking and jumping)

If you see any signs of encroaching NATURE in your area, call the OAFS to eradicate it today! Remember, NATURE has no place in modern society. Help stop these fauns today!

- Signed, the OAFS

A/N: This is from a writer's club session i hosted with the prompt 'Faun - mythological creature'. I wanted to write something that had a note of social commentary to it. I hope you enjoyed the satire!

What do the fauns represent to you? I'd love to hear it in the comments below!

-TWW