Far Side of the Moon

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. But the Bose audio system in my helmet transmitted my panic attack perfectly for everyone at Base Camp and Mission Control to hear. (Not to mention anyone back on Earth who might be live streaming.) Fortunately, only Mission Control would be notified that I had also just wet myself.

As much as I wanted to turn around and climb back into the Lunar Jeep, I couldn’t. Shock had taken over. My legs were no longer responsive.

“Commander, this is Base Camp,” Jones’ voice came into my helmet.

Her sweet Southern drawl normally would have calmed my nerves, but not this time.

“Are you OK? Please try to remain calm and speak slowly. Do you need help? Over.”

I didn’t bother responding just yet. It took 2.5 seconds for signals to go between the Moon and Earth. By now, Mission Contol would be in the middle of transmitting something similar to what Jones had just said. Some young punk in Houston would probably ask me if I peed my pants or if a sensor was malfunctioning in my Under Armour.

I kept my eyes peeled while I waited for my legs to become compliant. This side of the Moon was rougher and more beat up than the side that faced the Earth. There were more nooks and crannies for things to hide behind. Of course, what I had just seen didn’t need any help hiding.

“Commander Saunders, this is Houston. Are you OK? You have an elevated heart rate and are showing other signs of distress. Do you require assistance? Over.”

Assistance? The only thing I required was to get off this pile of regolith and head back to Earth. The sooner, the better. I was surprised by the phrase ‘other signs of distress.’ Mission Control didn’t typically mince words. But considering everything was live streamed, it probably wasn’t wise to announce to the world that I had just peed in a sponsor’s product. Maybe the world should know I wet my pants. That would help convey the seriousness of the situation.

Who was I kidding? Nobody would believe me. I just needed to get going before whatever that was came back. Once I was back at Base Camp I could take time to digest what had happened. Hopefully, the cameras caught some evidence to back up what I saw.

“Base Camp, this is Saunders. I’m headed back to you. I do not require assistance. Over.”

“Copy that, Commander. We’ll sit tight till you return. What happened out there, Rick? Over.”

“I’ll tell you at chow time. Over.”

******

Back at Base Camp (and in fresh Under Armour), I started looking for evidence to prove I wasn’t seeing things. Jane Owens knew more about our systems and equipment than anybody else on Base, so I started with her. I found her in the data center tending to her collection of Chia Pets.

“Jane, do you have a few minutes?”

“Sure, Rick. Is this about what happened out on the Far Side earlier today?”

She set down her watering pot.

“Yeah, I saw something out on the Far Side and was wanting to review any footage we may have of it. I was wondering if you could help me retrieve it.”

“It must have been pretty frightening to make you pee your pants,” she started giggling.

“Does everybody know?” I sighed.

“Sounds like Houston noticed, but I’m the only one on Base that did. I was here in the data center at the time. When you started yelling I checked your vitals to make sure you were OK.”

“Yeah, it was pretty freaky. I’d rather not say more until I see the video,” I confided.

Jane pulled out a tablet and began tapping.

“I reviewed your helmet cam and didn’t notice anything unusual. Let me show you.”

A large monitor on the wall flashed on, displaying the Moonscape I had just returned from.

Small tire tracks led away for a couple of meters, ending at the small rover I’d been sent to retrieve. Suddenly the screen filled with static for a few seconds. When the Moonscape returned, the rover was gone. I was yelling unintelligibly.

“Far Side interference blocked the part where you retrieved the rover,” Jane commented.

“I never made it to the rover.”

“Then what happened to it?” she asked, visibly confused.

“Nobody will believe me without that video. Is there any way to clean up that static?”

“Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it. We didn’t get a clean transmission. It happens a lot out on the Far Side.”

My heart sank. Without that video, people would think I was nuts.

“What about the Lunar Jeep?” I questioned. “Did you check that footage?”

Jane was already thinking the same thing. As I finished my question, the view on the monitor changed. This perspective showed me walking toward the rover. After a few steps, the screen was again covered in static. When the picture returned I was standing looking at an empty Moonscape.

“It’s not a coincidence that the interference happens just before the rover disappears,” I declared. “There’s something out there. But without that video, nobody will believe me.”

Jane paused for a moment. I figured she was wondering how to break the news to everyone that their commander was crazy. I was wrong.

“Rick, something is happening on the Far Side. I don’t know what it is, but the radio interference rate is more than quadruple the Near Side. Equipment only seems to fail on the Far Side.”

“Do you have any idea what the cause is?”

“No, but I think there’s a chance we may have some footage of what you saw today,” her voice trailed off and she began tapping and scrolling furiously on her tablet.

I didn’t understand. If the transmission from both my camera and the Jeep’s camera didn’t come through clearly how could we have footage?

“What many folks don’t know,” she explained, “is that while our equipment is built to NASA specifications, our sponsors often, sneak in some additional features to help them with commercial products later on. I’m pretty sure there are one or two additional cameras on the Jeep that don’t auto-transmit out to Base and Mission Control. These save locally like the commercial model. Let me connect to the Jeep and see what I can find.”

I was relieved that Jane didn’t think I was crazy for suggesting something was going on and that she already had suspicions of her own. I crossed my fingers and hoped that the Jeep held another video.

“Found something!” she exclaimed as she made a few final taps.

The monitor now displayed another vantage point of me walking towards the rover. I held my breath as the crucial moment approached.

“Any second now,” I heard her whisper.

No static interrupted the picture. Instead, the monitor replayed exactly what I remembered.

Just beyond the rover, a mirage-like shimmer appeared. It was roughly the shape of a person. After about a second, the shimmering stopped. In its place stood an astronaut wearing a suit just like mine.

He stepped up to the rover, picked it up, then looked directly at me. The shimmering began again then both astronaut and rover disappeared.

“Now I understand why you freaked out,” said Jane, already rewinding to where the shimmering first began to get another look.

“You want to see the freakiest part?” I asked. “Zoom in on the face.”

Jane zoomed in on the shimmering area. Just as the astronaut looked up at me, she hit pause.

“No wonder you wet your pants,” Jane gasped.

The mysterious astronaut was me.