Experiencing Love

Angel.

Hold on, let me send you the song. Did you get it? It didn't deliver. I think you blocked me again. I'm sure it's a mistake. Angel?

I saw you in the cashier's eyes this morning while I buying gum on my way to work, Angel. I bought your favourite flavour - lemongrass and mint. I hate it but I'd do anything to incorporate memories of you to my day.

Angel. I actually forgot your name. I know it's not angel. It's befitting, don't you think? I wish I told you that you reminded me of a fairytale's depiction of an angel, not the bible's of-course.

Sometimes, I stare at my sheets whispering incantations maybe I'd summon you and be able to see you again before you roll your eyes in disgust of my presence and vanish again.

I know you'd call me a liar but let thunder strike me if I've ever lied to you more than ten times. Another truth I'm about to tell is my angel, I miss you. I miss us.

I still feel your energy roaming around me, it keeps me holy. I still remember the words you sang to me.

Your word was the gospel. I'm sure it still is. You're depriving a believer of god's word, Angel.

God must've known to plant the truest words within you. For everything I've heard you say sounds sacred. They stay with me, I write them down. I dream of them - of you, speaking to me.

I wonder what you think of now. You used to tell me everything you thought of, I wish I listened more attentively. I listen to your podcasts to sleep now, does the app send you notifications of people that stream? I started listening hoping it would but I fell in love with what you had to say, Angel.

Praise and adoration be unto you, my Angel. I'm willing to worship at your feet if you'd let me. Would I be worthy to lick the dirt off your feet and the salt off your chest? Let me love you again, I'll be better this time. Wallahi

I saw a church with your face on the cross. I stood at the entrance and watched you glow. I heard you call me, I walked to you and knelt. I prayed to you, my Angel and I ended the prayer in your glorious name. Answer me angel.

Abi you're busy? When next are you free, my angel?

Cocktails? Same place. Maybe later. I can wait, I'll wait. I've been waiting.

I still feel things for you. Different things. I don't know what I'd describe them as. I'm not good at emotions but for you, my angel, I'm willing to try.

I do recognise one of them as love. I love you, my angel but I'm still the devil and I'm doing it as a devil. This is the love I have to offer even though it doesn't suit you. Would you change your choices, my angel? Would you let me love you?

I'll pass by your church this evening. Bless me with your presence, angel.