Evidence #C105

I need you to listen. Because I need you to believe me. Everything you’re about to read is true and absolutely vital in understanding what is at stake. My name is [REDACTED] and please, I beg of you do not shun me or disbelieve the following no matter how it may come across. If you think this is some madman’s diary, you are without doubt correct in your verdict. But that should only scare you all the more. Please stay with me. Read until the end. For my sake. For your sake. For everyone’s.

Have you ever had a moment in your life so momentous and life changing, one that drains every last ounce of mental stability from you that it feels as if it should have happened years ago even if it were only mere days ago? An event that saw your life from one continuous free flow, to a distant before and a confronting after. Once a moment like this comes along you may not even be able to conceive of how life once was. Sometimes now can be all that exists. For me that day was [REDACTED]. A plain, if not slightly depressing day. One where the rain was coming down loud enough to be audible but at an almost peaceful volume. A level that no doubt comforted those fortunate enough to be huddled up in their lounges and bedrooms, warmed by the many advantages of being home. However, for those of us who were freshly into their last hour of the working day the weather did not seem as much of a blessing. So of course my mood was as dull and grey as the clouds above. Even as the day neared to a close though, I realized these emotions would pass. It was a Friday night and once I was home with a little Southern Comfort to warm me up, I knew I’d be in a much better state of mind. The whole night was mine. When you’re in your mid 20’s there are three things in life that are guaranteed in life. Death, taxes and Friday nights.

Lost in thoughts of recovering my mental health with a drink, I must’ve not heard my phone start to vibrate. It had fallen off it’s holder and shuffled all the way to my typing hand. The office was dead quiet, as if the rapture had swept past while I calculated figures going into someone else’s pocket. As if people had known the type of afternoon it would turn out to be. Some put in leave days, others called in sick, but most had simply shaded away for one reason or another. A sick kid here, an emergency at home there. Strange how they always seem to occur on a Monday morning or Friday afternoon. Not that I’m judging, I only know this from experience of course. So therefore, with the office seemingly dead, the phone dancing across my desk seemed an ungodly loud racquet. Optimistically hoping this was a call that could take me all the way to clock-out, I snatched my phone up rather quickly. It wasn’t a call that had taken me from my daydreaming. It was a reminder. One I was sure I hadn’t set. I never set reminders, to the point where it was becoming detrimental. The amount of missed birthdays I’d had to make up for or exams that were studied within hours of sitting them was ridiculous. The reminder flashed up a notification informing me that I had a meeting in the [REDACTED] room coming up in 5 minutes. I was stunned with myself, if not slightly impressed. Thank god I’d set the alarm because whatever meeting this was, I’d completely forgotten. Pocketing my phone, I started the short trek to where the meeting was being held. Along the way I pondered whether it was a company-wide reminder set by one of the higher-ups and chuckled at the thought of all those who snuck out early panicking to their phones right then. Hindsight would show these thoughts to be null and void pretty quick.

My first thoughts on entering the room was that in my daydreaming, I’d entered the wrong room. There was a reason the meeting room had been nicknamed the [REDACTED] room. Normally as soon as you enter a grand, larger than life, full body portrait of the man assaults the eye. Hence the name of the room. Now don’t get me twisted, I hold nothing but respect for him, and his accomplishments will most likely never be rivalled by another soul. But from my admittedly limited knowledge about his personal life he was a soft-spoken, humble scientist who would’ve despised the thought of that great portrait hanging in the main meeting room of the company he founded. And so when my eyes weren’t immediately drawn to the obnoxious piece of ‘art’ I knew something was off. And on a more thorough scan of the room my unease only grew. As well as the missing portrait, the giant mahogany table that could sit upwards of thirty people had disappeared. No swivel chairs that broke too often were scattered around the room and the glass pane that covered the entire south side of the room had been replaced by a solid wall. The room itself was also significantly smaller. For a second I wondered whether it was just a change in furniture, like when you move houses and notice how big all the rooms seem while they remain empty. However I had attended meetings in which forty or fifty people crowded in, some having to lean against the three solid walls. Looking at this new room I could hardly see it fitting ten people inside. In fact just the one person waiting inside seemed to fill the entire space. In the dead center sat the only pieces of furnishings in the room. One small looking interrogation table stood between two very uncomfortable looking metal chairs. And in the furthermost seat sat a man whose face I had seen a thousand times before, but never once met. Looking exactly how the portrait had portrayed him, only now a warm, welcoming smile had replaced the self righteous grin he’d once held. This was more like I’d imagined him. I immediately felt more at ease, before coming to the conclusion that in no way could this man be sitting before me. He was dead. Seventeen years ago [REDACTED] had passed away peacefully in his sleep, at eighty seven years old. And so I remained where I was, one hand now with a death grip on the doorknob, jaw hanging uselessly from my face. All the while, a dead man at the table shone a beautiful smile my way. I was memorized. So memorized that I can’t even really tell you how long we remained that way. When he finally spoke it felt like only minutes had passed but the sunlight has stretched through the door in a way that suggested much longer

“Hello [REDACTED]” he spoke softly, keeping those twinkling eyes and charismatic smile trained on me. The voice coming from the dead man’s mouth was exactly what I’d expected, kind, grandfatherly and weathered with age. He had me in the palm of his hand, but there was a tug in the back of my head. Something was wrong. It couldn’t be his voice. It didn’t… match? “Or perhaps I should call you by some other name? Nothing that details any part of yourself or your life of course. Nothing that they can redact.” Fueled by a wink his smile only grew larger, but no brighter.. All while I stood there like some abandoned child in the middle of an impossibly complex mall. My confusion only grew with every word spoken. Obviously now I understand what he meant. If this record of events past does somehow find its way to anyone, there is no doubt in my mind that certain facts may be omitted. Facts that can validate what happened that afternoon. Unless I’m wrong about what’s to come. God I hope I’m wrong.

“Al” I whispered, my voice horse from a silent afternoon. “My friends used to call me Al, as kids. It’s… complicated.”

“Al” he repeated, nodding his head. “Al. Clean. Simple, slightly plain even. Like your life before today right? Haha don’t worry, I know you’re confused, but you can vent about all this once you write it down.” A cold chill ran through me, both up and down. I no longer wanted to be there, although I knew I wouldn’t leave. Every second in the presence of this man made him feel less of a man. More of an… it. That same feeling washes over me now, as I sit here and write this. It knew. “I like it!” it yelled unexpectedly, slamming his hands down on the table and rocking the entire room. “Al it is. Take a seat Al.”

“Who are you?” I demanded, praying it couldn’t hear the pure terror in my voice. An icy fear was spreading throughout, taking over my body, the way an oil spill pollutes and spreads in the water surrounding it. Not splitting apart, just growing and growing, tainting everything with a deathly black color. But I wouldn’t let it show. Or I’d try my hardest not to. What right did it have to use his body? “Because that’s not your face. And I don't think he would’ve appreciated you wearing it.” What little courage that had remained drained away with all the color in my face as it’s face turned sour. A snarl, upturned on it’s left side replaced the once shining smile and for a second I could’ve sworn I heard it snarl.

“I said sit, '' the creature growled at me. And you bet I sat down, my final act of defiance being a determined look back at the door I’d walked in. Could I make it? Would whatever this thing was let me? I’d seen no proof this thing was anything other than human, but… I wish I could explain to you the dread that curled itself tighter and tighter inside me as I sat there. It was unnatural. Something was terribly wrong. The curling only quickened when I realized the door was gone. Now there was only a wall. I was going to be sick. By the time I’d turned back around, it no longer seemed angry, although the plucky grandfather act had been dropped. Now this dead man sat leaning back confidently in his chair, one arm bent behind and the other relaxed on the table. Meanwhile I sat back straight against my chair, hands shifting nervously on my lap. Honestly though, nervous would be an immense understatement.

“I picked this face because it was one you’d respond to. Listen to. Respect. Because Al, I need you to listen. Because I need you to believe me. The world needs you to believe me.” It had become businesslike as if the subject was merely talk of a transaction. As if after the talk was done it would just roll down their sleeves and head home. “I’m what you would call a closer. Just on a much grander scale than your people would be used to.” It paused a beat, seeming to contemplate how to get the next few words out. More likely wondering how to dumb it down to a level I could’ve understood. Then it’s eyes met mine and held me there in an uneasy intensity. “The universe isn’t set in stone. But there is a plan. And to achieve said plan, there are a multitude of steps in place. Some older than a millennium. The big bang, formation of earth, creation of life itself. All that’s the easy stuff right?” It wasn’t a question. This thing was telling me, bragging about events I would never understand. It pushed back it’s chair and started to pace, hands doing half the talking. Could it have been excited? “But you lot. Genuine living, breathing, thinking organisms. You were the hard stuff, impossible to control. Early on the universe came to understand that life would never follow the most simple direct path, even if there were no other available. You see, something like an asteroid, that’s easy. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Even you humans understand that. And maybe because you understand it…” Shaking it’s stolen head, the smirk reappeared. In annoyance or admiration, I couldn’t tell. “You humans act as both the object and the force upon it. More than any other species of life, you refuse to conform too obviously. So the universe had to get creative. Guiding you more subtly towards the end goal. But every now and again, no matter what happened, the free will of life fights back. And so I was made.” It gave an over dramatic bow, before jumping back into it’s chair and leaning forward enthusiastically on the table. The creature’s eyes burned with the same fire throughout it’s monologue. Wide and piercing, forcing you to stay with them. “I am the last resort. I am the final solution. I am the closer. And once I’m here… you will follow the path.” My eyes followed it’s eyes, finding an official looking document on the table between us. Like the door disappearing into the wall, this document had seemingly grown out of the tale beneath it. I leaned forward cautiously, feeling a magnetic repulsion preventing me from getting too close.

‘I [REDACTED] agree with every fiber of my soul to directly follow the path set out for me from this moment until the end of all existence. I also acknowledge this is for the good of the universe and all life that dwells within, and so hence is my communal responsibility.

Singed _____ Dated_____’

“Don’t stress about the date” it casually remarked “I can take care of that. We don’t follow the exact same calendar you see.” I struggled to get a read on the creature. One second it seemed aloof and excitable and the next it glared at me as if I was a bug stuck to it’s shoe.

“I’m not signing this.” My words came slow and drawn out. It’s eyes narrowed as it leaned back slightly, taking me in. “I won’t.” I drew my eyes to meet it. A cold drip started down my back as the thing let out a low snarl. To this day I’m not sure it even knew it was making that sound.

“You will” it growled angrily. Then as if nothing had happened it suddenly sat straight up again, tilted its head in a cruel imitation of a friendly human gesture and smiled. Something was now missing from the smile, as if it was degrading. “But let’s keep that option as a last resort shall we? Something great is happening. Devastating and terrible yes, but necessary. Years were wasted trying to mold you into a certain type of person. One who would be willing to do what needs to be done. Hell, we wanted you to be able to enjoy it. But every time you resisted. Every time you surprised us. You stayed… good.” A flash of emotion crossed it’s face. Not anger though, or annoyance. For a second it almost looked proud. Was this thing truly my enemy? Could it be possible that it was really helping me? Helping the world? “Think of it like this; the Titanic, World War I, World War II, the desolation of Jupiter. Actually scratch that last one. Bit before your time. Point is all those events while each being more tragic and devastating than the last were essential to the success of the end goal. Any sane person would of course go back and stop any of them if given the chance. But the world they’d come back to would be much worse for all their efforts. The universe balances all options carefully and chooses the most desirable outcome, no matter how undesirable it may seem.” It’s eyes dropped, and I found myself feeling for this creature. "And the path laid out for you… You will not like it, no. And many people will get hurt. But the end goal is in sight now. And what will be done must be done.” It looked drained and tired. This creature had come to force me to agree to whatever horrible catastrophe fate had in store for me. Some event on par with the greatest tragedies in recorded history, and further. But I did not think it wanted to be there. In fact I almost wanted to agree to it’s terms. The poor thing looked so miserable as if all these events weighed on its shoulders.

“So,” I started, shifting forward. “Sometime in the future I will cause some horrific event that alters the entire Earth, sorry universe?” My hands were shaking terribly now. “I need to know what I will do.” It was the only question that mattered. The question I wanted the answer to most in the world. And the question I hoped would never be answered.

“I can’t tell you that Al” it whispered, dragging its voice from the most somber part of itself. “If you knew, well then not even the greatest powers in the cosmos could force you into it.” My eyes narrowed. This creature could play the pitiful act all it wanted, but I wouldn't be manipulated into doing it’s bidding.

“I won’t sign,” I half whispered, half yelled, confusion shifting into anger as I spoke. “You’re asking me to cause some heinous event you compare to World War bloody Two, causing God knows what devastation AND to top all that off you want me to carry on blind? Well I won’t. The universe is big enough and ugly enough to find another way. Because. I. Won’t.” The creature just stared at me and for a second I believed I had truly done it. I had beaten it. It could not fool me, no matter where it had come from or what powers it had. But no matter how fantastical life can get it is still life and if it’s not kicking you up the ass, that’s only because it’s still winding up. The creature finally moved, sighing, It stood, shoulders slumped, as if it had given up. But I saw that the fire had returned. And that dam smirk. At that moment a pain so indescribable caused my entire body to go rigid. I would try to at least detail what I felt, the pure torture I went through, but the creature did that better than I ever could. The final glimpse of any sympathy was gone. It stood over me, grinning while showing its teeth for the first time. They were black. Unfortunately the only part that could react to the pure hellfire infinitely raining through my body was my eyes. And if they could, they would’ve screamed.

“I really hoped I wouldn’t need to resort to this.” It growled, lips upturned to a snarl. I could focus on nothing other than every inch of myself screaming for mercy but still I would not take my eyes off it. Pure hatred ran through my body, only fueling the pain. “What you are experiencing is not pain. This is much more than pain. Nothing in your observable universe can do to you what I'm doing to you right now. And no soul has suffered more, whether in the trenches of battle or the embrace of death. Have you ever had pain so bad that you cannot even kick and thrash and scream even though your body begs for it? You would chop off every part of yourself to make it stop, yes? But even your thoughts are not safe, for they too burn with unspeakable misery. But…” It slid the paper forward again, now with a pen seeping out of the ink. The contract came forward painstakingly slow and it reveled in my anguish. Every second feeling like an eternity in my own bodily Hell. “There is a way to make it stop.” It tapped the contact. “Once this is signed, no matter how hard you fight you will no longer be able to escape destiny. Your free will, poof. No more. But I will promise you, you will never, ever go through this little ordeal again. You have twenty minutes.” I cursed it with every filthy word that came to mind but none made it past my frozen lips. I hated it with every fiber of my being, praying for it to kill me and release me from this torment. It walked slowly towards the door, drawing out my suffering. And then just like that it was gone and with it, the pain disappeared.

My body slumped and writhed against the floor in exhaustion. And that’s how I remained. Weeping, sniveling and shaking, my muscles wrecked and broken. I was pathetic. I still am really. Laying directly in front of my face, mocking me, was the contract. Wave after wave, hate flowed through me. Hatred for the pain it had caused. Hatred for the contract forced upon me which would seal my fate. Hatred for the universe for creating that creature. But most of all hatred for myself. I knew then that I would sign that paper. I would do unspeakable things to never have to suffer that pain again. I truly hope that you never have to experience what I did, but until you do, you have no right to judge my actions. Whenever I think about what happened that day I feel it again. It doesn’t fade like most memories gain a filter over time. If I lived to be a hundred that pain would never be forgotten, the memory never diminished. And so I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Because I lay there, a broken thing, barely human for nineteen minutes. And then I signed the contract. And gathering myself together finally I left, before I had to see that vile being again.

I wish I could’ve told you I stood up to it, that I’d been a hero. I wish that I could have withstood the torture of the Gods themselves. I wish I could tell you now that none of you need to worry about what the future holds. But you do, so listen. I need you to listen. Because I don’t know what’s about to happen, but it’s close now. At first I tried to trick myself into thinking I wasn’t capable of causing so much pain. But the universe is clever. It always knew I would resist. That it’s little ‘minion’ would be forced to use the last resort. Now, even weeks later I can’t focus on anything else. I really did try to move on with my life, I did. But those infinitely long few minutes replay constantly in my mind. The memory is rotting me from the inside out. I am going insane. God it feels good to just come out and admit it. My mind is turning to mush. And my thoughts… they aren’t my own anymore. I don’t know what I signed away but sometimes, every so often but more frequently lately, I’ll get an idea. An idea so horrible, so utterly soul destroying that any sane person would have dropped the thought right away. But. I. Am. Not. Sane. Please believe. Please listen. It’s too late to help me, so stay away. Whatever you do, stay away from [REDACTED]. And if you’re in the area, don’t bother praying. The universe doesn’t give a shit. Just. Run.

'Evidence #C105 was recently declassified by the Department of Defense according to the Secrets Liability Act of 2009. It was discovered under the rubble of what appeared to be the author's residence, over 150 miles from the blast Centre…'