Evanescent

I’m not okay. I’m not. I can hear them. Feel them, but I can’t find them. They tempt me to follow. Shifting but I don’t know where. Up or down? Maybe not. Where are you? Why are you so sad? Why am I so sad? Have you not had enough?

Cold. That’s what wakes me up. Something really cold and hard is pressed against my cheek. I crack an eye open, frosted glass is all I can see. Anything beyond is hazed over. I sit up, blinking away the grogginess. Am I on a train? I scrunch my brows together, rubbing my temples as if massaging them will bring back the memory of how I ended up here. It’s no use. There’s just a hole. The last thing I remember is curling up in bed, listening to the storm and wallowing in self-inflicted agony. But we’ll ignore that bit. How long ago was that?

Looking back out the window, I can tell the train is moving fast. Really fast. I’ve never been on a train but this doesn’t seem right. In fact, as I look around the whole situation seems strange. The others on the train with me, they’re… different. Something is not right here.

The seat across the aisle from me holds two passengers, a man and a boy. The man, secluded in a cloak of black, sits tall and straight. I can see no distinguishing features. The hood of the cloak covers his face in darkness so even his eyes cannot be seen. He reminds me of a grim reaper. The boy with him has a mop of chocolate curls. His head is… lumpy? One eye has deep circles beneath it while the other is missing entirely. And there’s this stringy stuff sliding out of the socket. His sweater is at least two sizes too big and paired with black sailor shorts.

I quickly look away for fear of being caught staring. Concealing my shock is difficult. There is a strange aura about this train and the passengers aren’t helping. The man and the boy are not the only unusual ones. Three seats ahead and to the left is a giant bunny rabbit. At least the size of a bush, with fluffy light brown and white fur and a beanie atop its head. Though there is something sinister in that bunny’s shining eyes.

No one seems to be aware of the other seats, as if everyone is in their own little bubble. I focus on the back of the seat in front of me. I’ve died. That’s it. I’ve died and this is some weird after death hallucination. Right?

The train begins to shake, windows rattle and I squeeze the seat beneath me until my knuckles turn white.

“Wildfields stop approaching.” A monotone voice announces. Finally, the train is going to stop. Maybe I can sneak off. Except the train doesn’t slow down.

An owl swoops past me, causing my sandy brown hair to flutter. He stops at a door to the end of the car, and, is he holding a flower? The door opens and a black shadowy figure emerges. “Ticket please.” They say. The owl squawks and ruffles its feathers as if outraged the shadow would expect such a thing. “I suppose I’ll allow it this once Owl. But please, do try not to make a habit of it.” The shadow says.

The train is still speeding on and I can’t figure out how this owl plans to exit, though I supposed his wings give him an advantage. A sign above the door flickers with the word Wildfields. The shadow opens a side door, I try to peak outside but I can’t make anything out. Just colors blurring by. The owl just flies right out, bright purple flower clasped in its talons. I look out my window expecting to see him but I don’t.

How am I supposed to get off this train? I stuff my hands in my pockets, looking for a ticket that will tell me where I’m going but there’s nothing. Nothing in my seat and nothing on the floor. This does not bode well for me. I haven’t dared to look behind me out of fear of what I’ll see and being caught. It’s clear that I do not belong here. I keep my head down while the train speeds on.

From the corner of my eye, I see the air next to me shimmer. It ripples and before I know it, something is materializing right next to me. No, a someone. I keep my head down, certain I’ve been caught even though I’m sure I’ve done nothing wrong. I didn’t ask to be here. At least I don’t think I did.

It’s a man beside me. I refuse to think about how he just materialized there. Obviously this train is not normal. He’s wearing black slacks and a dark button up, maybe purple. I refuse to lift my head any further so I don’t see his face. But he feels dark. And I can feel him watching me. In his hand, I see a ticket.

Onism Express

Destination: Selcouth

I’ve never heard of these names or places before. I don’t think on it long though because movement across the aisle grabs my attention. I keep my head down but let my eyes trail up enough to see a woman sit beside the man in black. I gulp excessively to keep myself from moving, or shrieking. The woman is all sharp angles, bone protruding from her skin which has a grey sheen to it. Her face is triangular with a sleek, dark bob. But her face… it’s upside down. Her mouth is on her forehead, wide with thin lips. A pointy nose sits in the center, nostrils exposed. I imagine I could look straight down them if I was taller than her. Sultry, lazy eyes sit where a mouth would normally be. They are dark and dull.

“Careful. Swallow any louder and you’ll give yourself away.” I jump slightly as the man beside speaks. It’s as if he knows getting caught by her would be bad. His voice is deep, smoky and despite myself my eyes flick to his. He’s… handsome. In a very dark and dangerous way. Soft curls in the darkest black I have ever seen sit just on his shoulders. Smooth skin and black eyes greet me. He doesn’t seem intent on giving me away so I flick my gaze back to the woman.

“Eeks, have you considered my offer for the child?” Her voice is so high that it actually hurts my ears. There’s a subtle rasp to it that gives the same feeling as nails on a chalkboard.

“Mierva, you’ll be the first to hear of it when I decide to get rid of him. As of now, he’s still useful to me.” The man is black has a voice that sends a chill down my spine and makes my blood cold. It’s obvious he’s not a good person. In fact, I don’t know that a single passenger has been… The boy scoots closer to the man in black, hiding behind his cloaked body. The nature of their conversation tells me all I need to know about them.

“Rumor has it, she eats children.” The man next to me says. I sit up a bit straighter, letting my gaze fall back on him. The train begins to shake again, window panes clank together. “Abditory stop approaching.” The voice announces. The man in black, the woman, and the child stand and walk to the door at the end. The shadow greets them, “Tickets.” The sign above flickers to the word Abditory. They hand over their tickets and the shadow opens the side door. The woman jumps first, then the man in black. But the boy, he hesitates a second. Just before he jumps, his head turns in my direction and I know without a doubt he saw me. Then he jumps. All of them right out of a speeding train.

“First time?” The man next to me asks. I guess my shock would be obvious. I nod my head but find it hard to speak. As if using my voice would somehow make this real. “My name is Elias.” He says to me.

After a moment of dead silence I whisper, “Mia.”

“Mia.” He repeats and I choose to ignore how much I like hearing him say my name. I don’t even know this man.

“Where am I?” I finally ask, daring to hold his eyes with mine. Darkness swirls in those eyes. He tilts his head, as if I’m a puzzle he can’t quite figure out.

“My, my. How far you have fallen Mia. No matter. You may join me if you like.” He speaks as if we’ve met before, but surely I would remember him.

“And where are you going?” I ask him.

“To my Kingdom.”

“And why would I go with you?”

“To be my Queen, of course.” I can’t help the laugh that tumbles out of me.

“Oh, of course. Queen. Ha. This is ridiculous. Hilarious really.”

“I can see that you don’t remember. Never mind that. They will come back sooner or later.” He stands, extending a hand to me.

“Selcouth stop approaching.” The monotone voice says. Elias cocks an eyebrow at me. Well, it’s not like I have any better options. I take his hand. It burns, like its branding me. The heat wraps around my wrist, up my arm and settles into my heart.

“Is now the time to tell you that I don’t have a ticket?” I ask him as we walk toward the door. He smiles but doesn’t say anything. The shadow appears, but instead of asking for tickets, they bow.

“Your Majesties.” They say, addressing both of us.

“Why are they addressing us that way? Don’t you have to make me Queen first?” I ask Elias. I can’t say for sure what the driving force is that makes me complacent in everything.

“You are mistaken Mia. It is YOU who made ME King.” The shadow opens the side door. The sign flickers to Selcouth. Swirls and streaks of color appear below us, the air above a hazy mist. Otherworldly is the only word I have for it. “Ready?” Elias asks me. He squeezes my hand and I squeeze back.

“Ready.” I tell him, then we jump. I don’t question it, it’s like instinct. I feel like I’ve jumped into ice water, I want to scream from the freezing pain. But then I remember…

There are a hundred worlds inside my head. Though there is one in particular I visit frequently. Selcouth. This world is the most tumultuous, but the most addictive. Not shocking for myself as I thrive on the edge. It’s being the puppet and the puppeteer. It’s speaking to an Owl in love with an Iris. It’s sitting on clouds with obnoxious flowers. It’s the sounds of bells and beasts. It’s the dark vines that cover the houses. The honeysuckle that is deceiving. Lavender and sugar. Ink well and peculiarities. Reality and sanity. Being aware of the depravity inside your soul but being unable to settle it. Craving more but shunning it away. The color Crimson.That edge of my mind, teetering precariously. The scales of justice constantly out of balance. It’s knowing it’s wrong but also knowing it’s where I flourish.

Welcome to my worlds. Try not to get as lost in them as I have. You may find it difficult to find your way back.