Enchanted in Ice

My grandmother always nagged at me … “Dody, don’t you go out on that ice. That old pond is out to get us. And don’t you be thinking I’m a crazy old lady, I know this to be true.” So I listened to her, even though I thought she was a neurotic worrier. But that day, there was another voice in my head.

This voice was saying “Come little one, walk upon my sparkling diamond pathways and I shall carry you to nirvana.” Now believe me, I was too young to understand what nirvana even meant. I assumed it was some kind of candy store … but that’s what an 8 year old would think wouldn’t she?

So out I stepped gingerly with a tiny toe tip of my skates, looking furtively back to be sure my mother wasn’t looking. But no, she was laughing with one of the other moms and they assumed all the kids were together and safe in the frozen patch where we normally skated.

My toes were aching with the cold. I hated winter. Who invented that anyway? In a Canadian winter you were always cold, toes and fingers aching as you rushed to get home to the warm again. But this time old man pond sparkled as my toe tip hit the ice and a flow of warmth went up my foot into my whole body. “Oh”, I thought, “this will be a great adventure.”

I had one skate fully on the ice now with the second following right behind. I must have gone invisible because no one called me back or even thought to look for me. Now that was a bit of miracle for a kid escaping parental prison.

I was now fully committed to the adventure, boldly sliding with both skated feet out into the middle of the pond, that elusive place that we were told never to go. But that’s where the voice was calling me to and the closer I got, the warmer I felt. Well that’s a good sign isn’t it? I thought so.

As I reached the centre of the pond, the ice opened up and gathered me through. I really wasn’t concerned you know. I felt so warm in what should have been ice cold waters. As I floated down into the waters, the ice drew back again over top of me. Yet I still wasn’t concerned. “Ooh”, I thought, “this is like Alice in Wonderland.” And a thrill went through me.

So there I floated in this kind of spiralling, pink, sparkling waters. How could this be? Water isn’t pink. Yet here I was, enjoying every second of it.

It must have been old man pond who appeared in front of me then, laughing an old man’s chuckle of a laugh, spouting words in between the laughter that sounded like “Get ready little one. You’re in for the time of your life.” And so I was.

As he disappeared back into the swirling waters, a light grew in front of me. It seemed to be coming from the depths of this swirling pink vortex somehow, drawing me down, down, deeper and deeper into the depths of something way beyond what could be described as pond. Coz they’re not very deep you know.

So I went with the beckoning light with no concern whatsoever for my well being in the midst of this icy frozen pond. I was feeling fantastic and this was most definitely the best adventure ever!

Then whoosh, there in front of me was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in the whole of my 71 years. She was brilliance, shimmering with an icy pink sparkle in the flowing robe that she wore.

“Hello little one.” She spoke to me without words. I guess they don’t actually talk down here in the depths of the pond. “I am your future self.”, she said, if you can call ripples of pink giving you words to understand.

Ooohhh that is so exciting, I thought as the tingles went through me. How many people are lucky enough to see how life is going to go for them in advance. “Oh yes, please show and tell me all.”, I purred back to her in pink bubble form.

She showed me times of struggle, a young woman crying, my father dying. She showed me moving around the world and teaching people wondrous things. She told me that I was meant to transform the whole world in my lifetime and that I should always be true to that vision. For I was meant for greater things and that must always be my pathway.

She showed me the man I would ultimately love and marry and told me that I would not have children in my lifetime. “Well I’m ok with that.”, my 8 year old self surmised. “Kids after all take a lot of work and are a pain in the backside to keep track of. After all, I’m sure my mother will be really upset with me when I get back to the edge of the pond again.”

The thought of my mother seemed to break some spell, an enchantment that had been thrown upon me. Before I knew it I was back at the side of the pond about to put the toe of my skate onto the ice, when my mother grabbed me by the scruff of my winter coat and pulled me back into the snow. “But Mom!”, I shouted, angry that the spell was broken and the sparkling pink future me was gone.

So now I write this story, at the age of 71, having done exactly all that my future self allowed me to see. I have become a great creator, an innovative thinker, a source of new possibilities for how life can be. I am thoroughly and utterly fulfilled, regretting nothing of my past and excited still about the decades yet to come. I see the change in the world already from what I and those I gathered close to me have created. Kindness. Generosity. Respect. But more than that. We are remaking ourselves as a new species of infinite creators walking in this beautiful world. I am blessed beyond compare for the life I have been privileged to live and I can’t wait to see what comes from here. Perhaps that sparkling pink future self might make another visit to me one day soon, but this time without the ice I hope. I still don’t like the cold you know.