EMPTY

How do I start, knowing how I feel? There is so much yet too little to put into words: the betrayals, the anger, the aggression, and the bullying. Should I say what I think, or should I express how I feel? How can there be emptiness and fullness at the same time? There is so much to do, yet so little time to cover it. How do I cover the lies, the betrayals, the confusion, and the misleading trails, yet be tired but still energetic, yet confused but still wise.

Going round in a circle, not knowing when to stop, not knowing who to talk to, and not knowing who to trust, there are lots of wolves in sheep's clothing, yet they appear kind and selfless. But would not allow you to shine when opportunities arise. Is it out of fear of the unknown, their insecurity, or that they do not just want what is best for you? They prefer seeing you beneath them, helpless and seeking their validation at all times.

You wonder, Do you hang in there hoping they appreciate what they have, or do you place a value on your life? and so on. But then, what if you were their last hope? What if they needed more time to know what they had before it was lost. What if you are their only beam of light?

They don't know your greatest fear is losing them; each time they talk about their past, present, and future, your thoughts are always stuck in the present. How come you still think of the present, which is now, when you ought to be living in it? The fear of the unknown, the emptiness and the fullness, the seen and the unseen, the future and the present... How come they are unable to see these? Is it how your eyes are lit? the tremble in your voice, the fears beneath the voice, the boldness beneath the timid gestures, and the williness to fight and defeat every form or being that dares you both.

They are not aware of your certainties, how much you believe in them, and how convinced you are of their abilities, even when there are many doubts in their hearts. They appear overwhelmed with doubts and disbelief, despite your assurance and efforts, it holds no what.

Do you give up, or do you stay and fight for what is rightfully yours? Do you let go and accept your fate? How do you intend to fill the empty and full voids? How do you tell your fruit you gave a good fight when you end up with something you can't explain.

I had said stay and fight; I had said let go, knowing you gave your all, but how? Knowing you still have more than enough, knowing you can never run out of wit and wisdom, how can you decide when you are in a dilemma between the known and the unknown? You see, time is not on your side, but you would rather stay and live in fear of the unknown.

Make a decision, yet you ask how? You are weak and tired, yet strong; you are confused yet wise, you have it in you, but you refuse to take a stand, you envy none, yet you want all. How do you do it. How do you cope with the tears, the rage, the anger, the pain, the betrayals, the aggression, the sadness, the loneliness, and the confusion?Is it love, hope, or faith? How do you do it. How? In spite of all this, how

Enough! You don't want to care; you have a lot to say but few words...