Elvis and Friend

Elvis and Friend

Reading the obituaries. Who knew how rewarding it could be?

“Would you like a cup of tea Mr. Greene? It’s a nice Irish blend. Very tasty and relaxing.” The old ladies voice broke Frankie Dobbs’ reverie.

Great, just what he needed. A hot cup of tea on what was sure to be a scorcher of a day in this backwoods South Carolina swamp. A glass of something else Irish over ice would be better, but not now. It had been almost over two hours since he arrived and he was sure the temperature outside was closing in on three digits. He needed to get moving. The scam was in place. The story of her late husband’s military investments had sucked her in hook, line and sinker. He’d managed to hack her banking software and now he would be able to access it whenever he wanted. Maybe setup an automatic feed to his offshore accounts. He’d figure that out later. He needed to get on the road and out of this place. This creepy place, out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by swamp, drowned forests and no cell service. And the hoops he had to jump through to gain access to the internet. To think, a retirement community way out here had the wherewithal to have VPN access.

“Thank you for the offer, Mrs. Callaghan. But I really need to get on the road. I have a flight to catch and it’s a long drive back to the city. I hope you understand. Thanks again for the offer”. Smiling, he rose from the recliner taking care to use the cane with practiced ease and started gathering his stuff together, packing it in his briefcase. Another piece of his fake persona; along with the credentials and military ring he had found in a pawn shop. All to give him a semblance of legitimacy. He limped to the door and turned, offering his hand to her.

“Good luck Mrs. Callaghan. Thank you again for your husbands service and especially you for supporting him.” Smiling, she shook his hand and opened the door. A blast of oppressive heat struck Frankie as though he was next to a roaring bonfire. He blinked a few times trying to adjust from the interior’s darkness to the blinding sunlight. He could make out a blur of what appeared to be a thin wiry figure, as his eyesight adjusted more, he noticed the coveralls, beat up dusty brown work boots and stained t-shirt, standing in front of a green four wheeled ATV loaded with tools next to his car. What the hell, he thought? Hot as it is and this guy is in full coverall regalia?

From behind him he heard Mrs. Callaghan call out. “Why, hello Titus! How are you?”

Titus? This was Titus? Frankie thought, the community’s handyman? The one who had given the old lady the VPN access credentials he had needed?

“Fine Missus C.. Just fine. Just need to talk to your new friend.” The soft friendly drawl did nothing to alleviate the small knot of cold building in Frankie’s belly. This was not good, not by any means.

Frankie looked at Titus but couldn’t get a read on the darkly tanned face underneath a beat-up baseball cap with white bristles sticking out from underneath. “Hi.” Frankie replied nervously, his brain racing. “What can I do for you?”

“Well,” came the languid soft reply, “not sure what you can do for me. Weren’t planning on leaving any time soon, were you?” Titus asked.

The icy knot started becoming bigger and tighter in Frankie’s belly. Who the hell was this guy anyways and what was he up to? Frankie quickly started running through his mind for any reason this idiot would suspect what he had just pulled off with the old lady. Coming up with nothing he decided to brazen his way out.

“I just finished some confidential legal discussions with Mrs. Callaghan and need get back into town and file paperwork for her due to some private government business. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get going before it gets any later, as I have several deadlines to meet.”

“Don’t think so friend,” replied Titus. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere soon.”

Panic now enveloped Frankie’s entire being. Something had gone wrong. Seriously wrong. The sweat running down the middle of his back wasn’t just due to the oppressive heat. He grasped the head of the cane with a tight white knuckled grip. If nothing else, Frankie thought, he could strike the old man upside the head and stun him so he could get into his car and drive off. No way that ATV could catch up with him. Everything was falling apart in front of his eyes. The panic was starting to rise in the back of his throat.

“Lookee here friend,” said Titus as he gestured to the hard packed dirt ground in front of Frankie’s rent-a-car, to a large wet spot in front of the bumper. “Looks like you may have punctured the radiator or a hose. You wouldn’t make it more than a couple of miles down the road in this heat before the motor seized up.”

Frankie stared blankly at the old man, mixed feelings washing over him. Ok so this wasn’t so bad. His scheduled flight would be a bust but he could still figure something out. “Oh boy, that’s not good. Thanks for catching that. Is there a triple A around or another rental place?” he asked.

“Nope and nope.” Titus replied. “Tell you what, follow me down to my workshop and we’ll take a look at it. If it’s a hose I can replace it for you and if it’s the radiator I have some gunk that’s supposed to be able to seal small holes.” He smiled. “Maybe we can get you out of here sooner than later. Just follow me.” Titus hopped into the ATV and waited for Frankie.

Frankie wasn’t sure what to do. His cell phone was useless out here. He turned to Mrs. Callaghan with a quizzical look on his face.

“It’s ok dear. Titus will take good care of you. He takes good care of all of us. If nothing else, I’m sure he could run you into town. But I bet he can fix you up and get you on your way in no time.” She smiled and patted him on his arm.

With a small smile and nod of his head, Frankie turned and went to his car. He stored everything in the back seat, got in behind the wheel, and then started after Titus down the road circling the lake to the promised workshop.

Following Titus slowly Frankie got a better view of the rest of the area. Along the lake was a well- groomed path that appeared to have seen a lot of use. Here and there were several small docks protruding into the lake. Scattered through the trees, he could see other small, neatly kept houses. Interesting place he thought. Maybe some other candidates as an added bonus he thought. He then just as quickly dismissed the thought. Once you hit a target in a particular area you don’t do a repeat visit. Just keep moving on to the next distant locale. No need to bring attention to himself, there were plenty of marks out there. Turning a corner he noticed a large sign that was on the shore of the lake by a dark green metal workshop. The sign had two lights on top, one green the other red. Currently the green one was glowing. Beneath the lights the sign had some words that he couldn’t quite make out. He wondered what the sign said as he pulled into the spot in front of one of the open bays that Titus was gesturing to.

Titus walked over to him as he rolled down the window. “Leave the engine running and pop the hood. Let me see if I can find where the leak is.” Turning his back, he walked into the workshop returning after a few minutes with a small tool box and a quart size can of something. Titus bent over the engine compartment muttering to himself as he shined a flashlight around the interior searching for the leak. Frankie agitatedly waited trying to see what was going on through the gap in the hood. Finally, Titus smiled, straightened up and came back to Frankie.

“Well, it’s a good news, bad news kind of thing,” he said as he wiped his hands on a greasy rag that had seen better days. “I can fix it so you can get back to town but it’s going to take a bit. You’ll need to shut the car off and let the motor cool down before I can work on it. Then I plug the hole I found, add some stop leak additive, and after letting it set up you can get back on the road. How’s that sound?”

Frankie thought it sounded shitty but he had no options. “Sure. That’s great. I appreciate it.” he said with what he hoped was a sincere smile.

“Good. Shut her off and come into the shop while we wait for it to cool down a bit.” Following Titus Frankie walked through the open bay into the dark interior of what appeared to be a well- organized, well- equipped workshop. Titus opened an interior door and Frankie followed him into an office. Through an opened interior door within the office, he observed a living area in the back. Noticing Frankie’s gaze, Titus smiled and said, “It’s my work area and home all in one. It’s part of the deal I got when I took this job. Decent pay and free housing. Bit out of the, way but I like that. Can I get you a drink? Might as well take it easy while waiting for the engine to cool down. It’s getting towards the end of the day and the residents don’t bother me usually this late in the day. Beer? Or would you prefer something else? I have a decent local bourbon and a nice single malt if you are so inclined.”

Frankie hesitated only a second. It had been a stressful day and his schedule was already hosed. Why not he thought? “Sure. How about scotch?” Titus smiled. “I took you for a scotch person when I first saw you. One or two fingers worth? Ice or no ice?”

Well Frankie thought, might as well make it worthwhile. “Two fingers, one cube. Thanks.” Titus smiled, producing a dark brown bottle and poured a generous two fingers of scotch into a thick heavy glass with the requested one ice cube. He took a longnecked bottle of beer from the refrigerator. “Local micro-brew. Great stuff, has great flavor and good with just about anything.”

Frankie took the proffered glass and took a small sip. It was very, very smooth with just a hint of smoky peat and back taste of something else. Honey? Orange? Strange but definitely drinkable. “Very nice. Thanks for the drink and helping with the car.”

“No problem,” Titus replied. “Any friend of the residents, we look out for them as well.” He took a long draw off the bottle of beer draining about a third of it in one long swallow.

“Is this a retirement community?” asked Frankie, trying to be sociable. Guy gives you a drink might as well be polite. He took another sip enjoying the slow spread of warmth as it went down his throat into his stomach. “What’s with the sign with the lights on it? I couldn’t make out what it said when I drove in.” Boy this scotch was excellent. He took another sip and enjoyed the spreading warmth. He glanced at Titus and raised his glass. “Thanks, I needed this.”

“You did, you really did.” said Titus with a strange smile.

Frankie felt…..odd. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it but something definitely was not right. Then with a rush of consciousness he realized several things in a shit stream of badness. First, he was waking up, not good. Second, he absolutely had missed his flight. Third, he came to the realization that he was laying on his back naked and that it was dark out. The panic built to an overwhelming fear that only increased with the realization that he couldn’t move. Blinking his eyes he could see stars and the light from a three-quarters moon filtering through the tree tops. Then a voice came out of the darkness behind his head and his sphincter clenched.

“Hey friend, how you doing?” whispered Titus. Now Frankie mewed in stifling panic. “Don’t go getting yourself all worked up. You are an interesting person aren’t you?” Frankie lay still, unable to move making more soft mewing sounds. “Shhh don’t strain yourself.” Titus continued whispering. “That nice scotch, has a little something extra in it that numbs your vocal cords. It also gives a shot to your motor controls shutting them down. So, you more or less are just a lump of meat sucking air right now.” Titus gave a soft sigh. Then Frankie heard the sounds of fingers working a keyboard.

“Let’s see what we have here. Who are you, I guess, is one of the questions; not a critical one, but one we’ll get an answer to in the end. I don’t believe for an instance that you gave Mrs. Callaghan your real name, now did you?” The fingers were moving quickly and Frankie was stunned. What the hell had happened? What was going to happen? He felt he was going to end up in jail. That would be a bummer of immense proportions. Could he somehow wheel and deal, cutting this guy in on some money? He didn’t look like he had much more than what was in the workshop. Frankie had enough stashed away that he could afford a small loss of funds. Cost of doing business. Yeah, that might work. None of this was making any sense at all. Frankie struggled to speak but was only able to grunt. Still the fingers clicked on the keyboard.

“Nice laptop you have here. Got all kinds of software loaded on it from what I can see. Some of it pretty specialized don’t you know. Not something you normally get from Bill Gates is it?” Frankie’s heart was pounding. Who the hell was this guy? The old lady said he wasn’t a computer geek. “Oh, look what we found here.” said Titus with a chuckle. “Heavy encryption and hacking software, banking transfer software, key stroke logging software, network hacking tools, secure off shore bank accounts. Impressive balances in those accounts by the way. Not exactly stuff one would expect to find on a government laptop. Especially one that deals with the VA and the US Military Investors Organization Department. Which by the way doesn’t really exist, now does it?” Frankie was stunned. His panic level increasing. He’d paid good money for that encrypted software. No one should be able to break into his secure folders. And they knew about his offshore accounts. He desperately tried to move his arms and legs. Nothing. His voice was still non-functional. What did this guy want? His brain screamed silently.

“We seem to know all about you, friend, and my other really good friends are going to dig a lot more into your laptop and whatever else we find in that rent-a-car of yours. Which, by the way, is in fine shape. I spilled water in front of it to make it appear to have a leak. Didn’t want you to leave without us knowing a bit more about you. Good thing, don’t you think?” Titus moved his chair and came into Frankie’s view. He was sitting in an old rocker with the laptop balanced on his knee. He stared at Frankie and was no longer the friendly good old boy he had initially presented.

“It appears that you are nothing but a figment of your own imagination, a life based on lies. Not much truth in anything we’ve found. You never were in the military. You have no legitimate financial background credentials. You friend, are nothing but a fraud. But enough about you, for now. It seems I’ve been very impolite. I haven’t properly introduced myself, have I? Or answered your questions that you had about our facility when you first arrived. As you know my name is Titus. I was in the military for thirty years. Thirty years of loyalty, dedication to God, country and my fellow troops. This facility is a continuation of that service, loyalty and support. We currently have forty-five residents whose spouses made a lifetime commitment to our country and their fellow military members. You see, we check in on the spouses of retirees who have passed. Making sure that they are getting by and have family or friend support. If they don’t, or if they are having a hard go of it, we are able to offer them a safe community of like- minded people dedicated to helping each other. We have several of these small secluded communities scattered around the country to help these folks. We don’t push or cajole. We just let them know that we’re there for them if they want or need it. We keep watch over them, protecting, supporting and being a family for them. Especially protecting them from people like you. You would be amazed at how many people are ready to take advantage of these folks. Well maybe not, after all, that’s what brought you way out here wasn’t it? An easy score? Feeding off the elderly? Guess one has to make a living somehow, right? Why not you? You don’t know them, so what’s the problem? We try to watch out for any outsiders who would take advantage of them. We ask the residents to let us know if someone is offering free things to them, have lost money that is theirs that they only have to sign some papers for or give an account number to facilitate the transfer of funds. So, when you jumped onto our VPN, after Mrs. Callaghan asked for permission for your access, we decided to tag along to see what you were up to. Very slick software you got there, friend. Nice scam, add software to her banking accounts that enable you to suck her balances dry whenever you wanted. Must have cost you a bit for that. Anyways, one thing led to another and here you are. Oh, and you were asking about that sign with the lights, right? Here let’s get you situated so you can at least have a view.” With that Titus got out of his rocking chair and reached over and gently tilted Frankie’s head to the left where Frankie could see that the green light was glowing. He still couldn’t make out all the words on the sign.

“So, there’s quite a story about that,” said Titus. “When we first got here, this area had a connecting channel from the lake to the swamp on the other side of that berm over there by the arch crossing the end of the lake. Seems there’s this big bull ‘gator, about fourteen feet long, old but still very aggressive. Unfortunately, it developed a taste for some of the resident’s dogs that went too near the water. Scared the shit out of the residents as well. Despite his appetite, no one really wanted to get rid of him. They felt he added a perverse sense of unique charm. One time when the ‘gator came through he had a clump of moss on his head. One of the old ladies saw it and said it reminded her of Elvis with his swept back hair. So, the ‘gator is now known as Elvis. We set up some sensors at the mouth of the channel and we can tell when he’s in the lake or has left. We also set up that sign so the residents can tell at a glance if he’s come into the lake or left. The green light means he’s gone, the red light means he’s come in. The words are a takeoff from Elvis’ tours when the announcer would say that Elvis was either in the building or had left the building. The sign states that Elvis ‘ is in’ or ‘has left’ the lake. That way the residents can feel safe walking around the lake with their pets. Or spend time trying to spot Elvis. One time, Elvis came through and Mrs. Crenshaw saw him and said he’d brought a friend. Got everyone all excited. Fact was, it was the carcass of a swamp hog that Elvis was getting ready to stash before dining on later. Eventually, he left the lake taking the carcass back out to the swamp where, based on gator habits, he fed on it for the next several days. That was the hot topic for a while for sure. Now, Elvis has a routine that he follows pretty close. Usually, a pass through shortly after sunrise and then again after sunset. Spends a while cruising around looking for an easy snack before leaving back to the swamp. So that’s where you come in. Guess who’s going to be Elvis’ best new friend? Hmmmm? Any ideas?” With that Titus again got up out of the chair. He walked over and grabbed Frankie by the ankles and dragged him down to the waters edge and slightly into the water. Frankie’s panic rose exponentially along with the mewing. Walking back up to Frankie’s head Titus looked down at him. “Now we wait. Shouldn’t be too long. Keep an eye on the lights. When it turns red things are really going to get exciting.” He smiled at Frankie and sat back in the chair. Frankie couldn’t believe this was happening to him. His heart was racing. Panic flowing through his veins. His brain clouding with fear. Suddenly, he felt a convulsion course through his entire being. The light had turned red!

“Ahhh, the fun is about to begin.” said Titus as he got up from the chair. He walked down to the water’s edge and started splashing his feet in the water. “That’s going to get Elvis’ attention. Won’t be long before he gets here and you two get to know each other really, really well. Could almost say you’re going to become “one” so to speak.“

With that, Titus left the water and stepped back behind Frankie. After a few moments, Frankie sensed a change. A sound? Splash of water? The crushing sensation of his legs being clamped between massive jaws screamed that Elvis was here! He felt his body being dragged into the water. He tried to scream yet nothing came out but grunts. As his head was pulled under water his eyes saw the moonlight swirl in a final blur of his existence.

Titus watched the settling dark swirl of water. “Don’t worry friend. We’ll see that Mrs. Callaghan gets her money.”