Elle

Elle stood staring out at the endless acres of wheat. Mesmerized she watched as the wind molded it into waves, transforming the field into an ecru ocean. The winds are gentle and warm. They run through Elle’s hair lifting and curling each golden strand like ribbons on the breeze. Every gust adorned in the scent of sun kissed earth, and wild lavender. She closes her eyes and draws in a deep breath. Taking it all in like a snapshot to save in her minds photo album. Just as the sun caressed her skin, she to embraced the sun. I could spend all day describing Elle. She’s fascinating. I often ask myself if I’m fascinating in any way at all. Don’t fascinating people know they are fascinating? I would assume so.

Elle has always felt more at peace in nature. It never really mattered where just as long as it was outdoors. She rarely wore shoes and had a mantra regarding the topic as a whole. “Our feet must be bare to feel the earths heartbeat” she’d say. A rather beautiful thought isn’t it? Consider it for a second. How magical to be so connected to your surroundings. Elle always had wonderfully profound theories, some I could never understand. I likened her to Alice from the story books. A curious whimsical young woman. I envied her in ways. I wished to be as lost in thought as she was. Calmed by just being so present in each moment.

I could never be like Elle. I’m Melissa, the skeptical, dubious, apprehensive, afraid of everything cousin. While I’m busy keeping everyone safe from life, Elle is busy living it. I watched her feel every moment in the field that day. I watched her often. Just quietly admiring her. “Elle” I whispered “even her name is perfect” I sighed. A girl like me could never even glow next to a bright shining light like her. Like a beacon her essence radiates swallowing my dim flicker. I’m like a candle trying to burn brighter than lighthouse. It’s unfeasable.

I suppose I don’t want to be a duplicate of her. I just want to embody her many wonderful attributes. To be me but free. Free from the tiring burden of anyone’s judgment. How do you care deeply but care less at the same time? How does one effortlessly differentiate between what deserves our energy and what does not? That’s a trait I admire most. It’s an art really. To gracefully go through life dismissing situations or people that don’t bring you peace. What a liberating movement of self growth. I’ll learn by her example. I wonder does Elle know or even care how she’s seen through others eyes? How I see her through my eyes? She isn’t crafted with ego just the opposite actually. I believe she knows just how wonderfully refreshing she is. Elle just doesn’t care to fixate on putting a value on small things such as others opinions. That’s just what makes her so intriguing.

Everyone has that cousin whom they admire. That person who makes us look at our selves and wish we were something more. Someone else entirely. Maybe it’s not true at all. Maybe most people are like Elle. Free and grounded. Calm but filled with excitement. At peace but roaring into lifes adventures fearlessly. Living without assessing every risk. Just breathing it all in, eyes closed. Standing still as long as their feet want to. Barefoot digging heels into the earth, the sun kissing their skin. I long for that. To be embraced by a warm wind that is mine and belongs to me. I want to live that way. I want to live like Elle.