Eggasaurus Rex

-Author’s Note from the Wobbleverse.

This wobbly, glitter-splattered tale is a joyful break from my usual writing. Eggasaurus Rex is my very first attempt at a children’s short story, filled with sock trees, meatball disasters, and one delightfully ridiculous hero. I'd say it's meant for kids somewhere under the age of 9.

It’s meant to be read out loud, giggled through, and shared with young (or young-at-heart) readers.

So if you're here for my darker fiction or grown-up stories... today, we wobble instead.

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One morning in the Land of Wobblebottom,

right between the jellybean jungle and the sock tree forest,

the sky gave a hiccup.

BOING. BONK. SPROINGLE-SNAP... THWAP!

A rainbow-striped egg came bouncing down Trampoline Mountain,

ricocheted off a giggle-bush,

and landed smack in the middle of town square,

right next to Grumpasaurus’s soup stand.

It wobbled.

It rolled.

It hummed a little disco tune.

Tina Triclipclops dropped her clipboards.

“All three!” she gasped.

“That egg is unregistered and smells like marshmallow glue!”

Zoomy Zaptor zoomed,

spun seventeen loops,

and flopped face-first into a muffin tree.

“ZOOOOOOM-SPLAT-CHA-BOING!”

Baby Bloop put a sock on the egg

and sang it a lullaby.

Then floated upside-down into the bushes, whispering,

“You shall be Sir Socky von Wiggle, our bravest knight.”

The egg wiggled...

jiggled...

jellied...

And with a glittery wobble-pop,

it burst like a confetti cannon full of jellyfish and socks.

SPARKLES. EVERYWHERE.

They got in noses.

They danced on foreheads.

One sparkle flew up and gave the moon a high five.

Out rolled a perfectly round, giggling dino

with disco-ball eyes, banana peel slippers,

and lettuce taped to his tail.

“HELLO, TOTS!” he chuckled.

“I’m not a dinosaur. I’m a wiggly-jiggly Eggasaurus Rex-a-roo!”

He hiccupped jellybeans.

Three birds fainted.

One tree applauded.

Tina cleared her throat.

“Dino Orientation, Rule One: Roar like you mean it.”

Eggasaurus puffed his cheeks,

scrunched his sparkly face,

and ROOO,

AH-CHOOOO!

A blast of glitter launched Zoomy into a lemonade stand.

“Rule Two,” said Tina, wiping glitter from her glasses.

“Stomp like you’re angry at the ground.”

Eggasaurus raised one banana-slippered foot.

“STOMPY-STOMP!” he shouted.

whooooosh.

He slipped, tumbled,

and rolled into a pineapple cart.

Grumpasaurus Grumble looked up.

“Hmph. That’s not a stomp. That’s a squish with ambition.”

“Let him chase something!” Zoomy yelled.

Eggasaurus nodded.

He locked eyes on a butterfly,

waddled after it…

and hugged a cactus.

“OOOOPS-A-NOODLE!” he said happily.

“Wrong butterfly.”

The other dinos stared.

Tina sighed.

Zoomy groaned.

Grumpasaurus muttered, “He’s not even a real dinosaur.”

Eggasaurus blinked.

His glitter dimmed just a little.

“Oh,” he whispered. “Maybe I’m not.”

He rolled into the bushes,

quiet for the first time,

and sat beside Sir Socky von Wiggle.

Sir Socky didn’t say anything.

But his stripey silence was very comforting.

Suddenly, the ground jiggled.

Then wiggled.

Then made a slurping noise.

“Oh no,” said Tina.

“It’s happening again.”

Every dino turned to the cliffs.

A GIANT, GARGANTUOUS SPAGHETTI MEATBALL BOULDER

was barreling toward town.

It had pepperoni eyes.

It had garlic bread legs.

It had NO brakes.

“EVERYONE FOR THEMSELVES!” Zoomy shrieked.

“GLUE ME TO THE EARTH! I AM A TREE!”

“We need a plan!” Tina shouted.

“We need soup,” said Grumpasaurus.

“Bloop,” said Bloop.

Eggasaurus peeked from the bushes.

His eyes widened.

Then… he smiled.

“Can I ride it?”

“NO!” everyone yelled.

He grinned.

“Then I’ll roll at it!”

He curled into a perfect rainbow ball...

spun up speed...

and launched himself straight at the meatball boulder.

BOING! ZOOM! SLAMMO-RAMA! KA-BLOOSH!

He stuck to it.

He giggled.

He waved at a butterfly.

Then,

he rolled left,

rolled right,

bounced off the sock tree,

spun around Muffin Hill…

and SPLORRRRRRSH!

Straight into Great Tomato Lake.

Noodles flew.

Cheese rained from the sky.

Bloop caught a meatball in her sock.

A tiny mayor popped out of a muffin

and declared a sprinkle emergency.

The dinos blinked.

Tomato soup dripped from trees.

A noodle signed Tina’s clipboard.

Out in the lake, Eggasaurus floated like a ravioli.

“WOBBLE SUCCESS!” he shouted,

spinning a soggy breadstick like a champion.

Baby Bloop threw jellybeans in the air.

Zoomy skated in circles yelling,

“Eggasaurus! Eggasaurus! King of the ketchup!”

Tina sighed, still covered in cheese.

“I hereby declare him…

The Land of Wobblebottom’s Official Roller of Rescue.”

Grumpasaurus grunted.

“Hmph. Took you long enough.”

The dinos danced.

They jiggled.

They wobbled.

They snorted juice out their noses.

Eggasaurus did the worm.

And the worm clapped.

As the noodles napped in the sun,

Eggasaurus stood on a stack of muffins and proclaimed:

“From this day forward… let it be known…

You don’t need claws or stomps or roars…

TO BE DINO-MIGHTY!”

He paused.

Then added with a wink:

“You don’t need to fit to shine,

just wobble in your own design.”

He rolled into the sunset.

Backwards.

Singing the alphabet out of order.

“Q... W... Marshmallow... H!”

Baby Bloop waved a sock on a stick,

Sir Socky von Wiggle, flying proudly.

The crowd cheered.

The birds burped bubbles.

And somewhere far away,

a second rainbow-striped egg wobbled.

It had googly eyes.

And a mustache.

THE END

(or maybe... the SPLAT-TASTIC beginning?)