Dystopia

The atmosphere was grey that day, although I can't remember the last time that it wasn't, now that I come to think of it. There was quite literally no resemblance anywhere anymore. None. As I stood there staring at it, a flood of memories and emotion overtook me. I thought about our drive out to the East Coast, and staying at that 200 year-old brick hotel. I remembered the wedding that was just wrapping up as we were checking in our luggage. There was a sea of commotion and activity on that sunny April morning. I remember how we went out drinking at the local pub that night, and calculating how many miles it had taken to get to our strange destination. Exactly 666 miles from home. We laughed and drank our beer. I remembered how we made love for the first time that night.

Absolutely nothing was the same anymore. The only semblance of continuation was the heart-shaped locket that you gave me on my birthday. I continued to stare at it. It became like an anchor of reality and sanity for me; something eternal and real that could keep me grounded, even if only barely. It was something familiar that linked me to how it was before. Before everything changed. Tears rolled down my cheek. I knew that I had to hold on to this amulet no matter what. If I ever lost this, I would lose everything. I wouldn't recognize myself or the world any longer, although I already hardly did anymore at this point.

The next moment, something snapped me out of my trance, and I looked up from my daydream. A voice overtook the air. It was that machine again, or whatever it was. “Your time is up in the bathroom. Please exit the facility in an orderly fashion.” I hated that thing. I wanted to scream, or throw a rock at it to shut it up. But I couldn't even find the source of the sound. The AI nanotechnology was far too advanced these days for me to ever figure it out anyway.

When I exited the bathroom, I gazed out into the atmosphere surrounding me. I got that eerie and uncomfortable sensation again. I was surrounded by all those dusty refrigerators and appliances, completely unused for what looked like years. Something about them just gave this terrible sensation in my stomach. I couldn't help but wonder WHAT WAS I DOING HERE??

This warehouse was probably once an old Sears or something, and I just couldn't stand how I was now living in this place, with hundreds of other people. Luckily, they were all out in the Field for the moment, and I got a rare opportunity at some privacy for the day, if only brief. I decided to look around for a minute. Those endless aisles of appliances just felt so foreign, and I began to walk slowly down one aisle.

I began wondering if there was a way to run away. But where to? Where could I even go, and how would I even get there to begin with? I wished it was the '60s, when hitchhiking was still acceptable. The 1960s, that is. Crazy to think that was already 70 years ago, but even reflecting on 10 years ago is a mind shock. So much has transformed in so little time.

Was suicide the way out? I remembered the locket, and I gripped it tight in my pocket. No. I had to push forward. Somehow. Some way. But I just didn't know where to go or what to do anymore. I didn't want to keep working the Fields. I wanted to play Music again. I wanted to write and read and dream. I wanted to see you again and hold you in my arms once more.

I had to find a way out of here.

But suddenly, a siren had gone off. That was the storm siren. Looking out through the window, I saw that people began heading in my direction, piling into the warehouse one after another. I overheard someone in conversation with someone else. A Tornado touched down on the ground somewhere nearby.

Now what?? Maybe this was God's way of letting me exit this world without having to do the deed myself. But what a hellish way to go, piled into this warehouse with 300 other strangers, like cattle awaiting their slaughter. I was already stuck with these people all the time anyway, but maybe not for long.

After 30 or so minutes, things got more intense. The wind started howling outside. My heart began pounding, and my hands sweating profusely. Everyone became incredibly quiet. I heard the tiles of the building starting to creek, as if the entire roof was about to be sucked away by the wind. The AI voice overtook the silence. “Danger. Danger. Tornado warning in effect. Please take shelter, and remain calm. Danger. Danger. Tornado warning in effect. Please take shelter, and remain calm...”

Why was the Universe allowing all of this to happen to me? That's the only thing that I could think about. Just...why did it all turn out like this? I never could have imagined this in my wildest dreams 11 years ago. It felt like my life had become a fictional Sci-Fi novel. Certainly this couldn't be real life, but it was. As Jim Morrison once observed, “Could any Hell be more horrible than now, and real?”

The rain and the wind escalated, and then the lights went out. We just lost power. I suddenly became more angry than anything. I couldn't believe this was how I might die, stuck in here with all of these strangers.

A gigantic “NO” emerged from my core, and some impulse deep within gave me a gut instinct. I decided to do something inconceivable.

I ran.

Out of the warehouse I went. The rain was pouring down, and the wind was incredible, but I did not see an actual Tornado. I had no idea how close or far away it actually was. I climbed the electrical security fence. This was possibly my only chance to escape, since the power was down.

I fell a hard fall from the top of the fence, injuring my knee. It was probably a 10 foot drop, but I got myself up and kept moving, unsure of what damage I had just done to my leg. Despite the immense pain, a strength emerged as I just ran and ran, but I had no idea where I was going to go.

A Freedom took hold of my being, however. I haven't been outside of that fence for years now. That same landscape and people I had been dealing with for I don't even know how long. They didn't allow us to use clocks or calendars. We just had to estimate things by word of mouth.

I came out to an empty road, and after many minutes a car drove up to me and stopped. It was over, I thought. They caught me.

“Hey...you know there's a Tornado, right? You need to take shelter right now!”

“I know. I am trying to find some.”

“Well...where did you come from? Do you need a ride? We need to get out of here.”

“I don't know where I came from exactly. I'm lost.”

“Well get in! We gotta get moving.”

I had no idea if I could trust this man. But I got in, because I felt I had no other options. We didn't speak for several minutes, before he finally broke the silence.

“If we keep moving in this direction we should be safe. I shouldn't even be driving to begin with right now.”

“Well, why are you?”

“I escaped from one of the Fields a month or so ago, and I've been on the run.”

I didn't respond.

Nothing surrounded us for many miles other than empty fields and the occasional warehouse. I wondered if cities even existed anymore. The Sustainability Act had outlawed much of industrial life years ago. I was surprised they still even allowed for vehicles, but they were all electric by this point, and yet pretty hard to come by.

We drove and drove. I understood why he kept driving. He didn't know where he was going, either. I didn't even bother to ask him about it, not to mention how he managed to get one of these cars, or escape just as I did. I just wanted to sit in silence, as I couldn't believe my luck. I had actually managed to escape that hell-hole. I didn't even care about the Tornado at this point. If I died with this stranger, at least I died by escaping and being free. Or even if he killed me, I still would have preferred that over dying in the warehouse, or the Fields.

After what seemed like hours, the storm had subsided. There was hardly any cars anywhere the entire time.

“What direction are we heading in?”, I asked.

“East Coast”, he responded.

“And then what?”

“I don't really know.”

He went on to explain that he didn't know where his family was anymore, or even if they were still alive. I told him that it was the same for me. After we got abducted out of our house, everyone was separated and our phones were confiscated and likely destroyed.

After a very long time, the ocean emerged in the horizon. We got to the very end of the road, where there was a dead end at a beach. The driver stopped the car, and we both got out.

“There's just nowhere to even go”, he said.

I nodded.

“Well I'm going to keep moving. I don't think it is smart to stay in this car, but you can do what you want. Here's the key”, he then said.

“You're going to leave me? Let me come with you! I'm afraid”, I responded.

“I don't think it's a good idea. I'm going to try and find my family now. The last time I saw them they were in this area. I at least need to try and find clues.”

“Wait. I want to thank you for saving me. I want you to have this.”

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the heart-shaped locket.

“Take this with you, so you can remember me. It's my way of saying thanks. Someone very important once gave this to me, and I also don't know where they are anymore. You have now become someone important in my life, and I want you to remember me.”

He took it, his blue eyes stared at mine, and he smiled. The moment only lasted for a few seconds, before a concern washed over his face.

“I have to go now”, he said.

And he turned and walked away from the beach, slowly disappearing from view.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I was starving for some kind of food, and I had nowhere to go. I didn't need money, as that didn't exist anymore. But I didn't have Permission to get food either. All I had was this stolen electric car parked beside me at this empty beach.

I stared out into the ocean, watching the waves crash and roll in. This...this is still the same. I still have the sea. They can't change that. Not yet anyway.

A strange calm overtook me. The sun was beginning to set, and I hadn't felt so happy in years. I stood there for a long time, taking in the moment. I literally had absolutely no idea what was supposed to happen next, but I didn't care at all anymore.

Internally, I knew why. This is what Freedom is. Freedom has never been safe, or secure, or assured of anything.

I knew that somehow the ocean recognized my Truth also. And so I sat with the ocean, and we listened very quietly to each other. The closer I listened, I swear that I could hear a whisper...from you.