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Dying of the Light

Like a beacon, calling her home

By Antonella Di MinniPublished 3 years ago 8 min read
2

Jenny was pulled from her sleep by a sudden lurch of the train. Her head was against the window and it took a few moments to orient herself. Her mind was clouded by the shadow of a nightmare. It was fading, but she still felt as if she was in a dream.

She looked around at the other passengers. Their faces were buried in books or newspapers. Jenny flipped her phone open and checked for messages. It showed no service, which was unusual. She noticed the time was nearly 8:00 pm. She couldn’t quite remember what had kept her at work so late. It must not have been anything important. Sometimes when paperwork piled up she would just lose track of time.

She stared out the window as the train trundled on. It was a dark, winter night and she could barely focus on anything as the train moved past. Lately it seemed her routine was so repetitive that her life lacked any details. Work, commute, home again, then start all over. It was all a dull blur. She had this realization often and always promised herself that she would find her way out of the rut she was in. So far, Jenny hadn’t kept that promise.

Static crackled from the train car speaker. A garbled voice said, “Nex shtop frvr stree. Frevr steet next stop.” It didn’t matter that she couldn’t make out the words; Jenny knew this was her stop. She got up to stand by the door. No one paid any attention to her. The train slowed to a stop, the doors opened and she stepped out. As the train pulled away, Jenny noticed that she was the only one who had gotten off.

Jenny left the station and walked down to street level. The cold was biting. It penetrated her gloves and made her ears hurt. She put on her hood, but it didn’t help much. Jenny had lived in Chicago her entire life, but this felt like one of the coldest nights she could remember. The streets were completely quiet. No one else was walking and no cars passed her. Everyone else, it seemed, was smart enough to stay out of the cold. She tried to focus on her walking. Just a few more blocks, she thought. Or was it? Jenny guessed that working late and the terrible cold was affecting her mind a bit. It would be ok as soon as she got home.

There was a time when Jenny enjoyed this walk, even on cold nights. It gave her a chance to clear her mind of the workday. She would think about her plans for the future as she walked. She believed that her job would be a stepping stone to better things. She was confident that if she dedicated herself to the job, she could get quickly promoted and maybe even move on to a bigger and better company. But after seven years in the same position, she had become complacent and her dreams of a career had faded. Now, she could barely remember what she did for a living.

In more recent years, Jenny had spent much of her walk home thinking about romance and marriage and maybe even having a family. For over two years she had been in a serious relationship. At least, she thought it was serious. Jenny would make dinner for them after work, stopping on the way home to buy his favorite foods. They would watch TV after and he would spend the night, most of the time. Sometimes he couldn’t stay because of his busy job. It was something in sales. Jenny remembered that time as happy, even though he was never as romantic as she hoped he would be. She told herself, it was just his way. Then he started making excuses why he couldn’t see her, often at the last minute. Finally, he called and told her that they were finished. She cried and begged him to reconsider. He said he was marrying someone else and hung up. He broke her heart. She had believed she was in love with him. She thought his name was Tom or maybe Tim. She couldn’t quite remember at the moment.

The walk seemed so long. Dark street after dark street. It was almost as if there was a power failure, but there were pools of light from the street lamps, so there had to be power. It didn’t matter. All she wanted was to get home and feel warm. With every step she felt the heat draining from her body. She just needed to hang on a little longer and she would be home.

Finally, she could tell she was reaching her street. It was dark, too, except for the streetlights. She could see her building and it made her feel a bit less tense. The building seemed to be completely dark, too, so Jenny wondered if maybe there was some sort of unusual power outage that only affected certain things. As she got a little closer she saw that there was one light coming from her building, actually coming from her own apartment window.

A green light was the only thing visible from the entire building. It came from a lava lamp sitting on a table by the window. She couldn’t remember owning a green lava lamp and had no memory of turning it on at any time before she left. Seeing it made her simultaneously scared and comforted. It was troubling that the light was on, but it also felt like a beacon, calling her home. She felt even more anxious to get to her apartment.

Jenny hurried across the street without checking for oncoming cars. She was looking up at the green light as she ran. As she approached the building, she suddenly felt even colder, so she moved more quickly to get inside.

The building door was ajar. A neighbor must have been too lazy to close it. There was some light on the stairs, but it seemed weaker than usual. She reached her second floor apartment and unlocked the door. She entered slowly, but she could see nothing amiss. Everything was as she left it. Pretty much the same way it had been for the past six years. The only exception was the green lava lamp. The moving light it created in the dark apartment was disquieting. Jenny tried the light switch, but the lights didn’t come on. She felt uneasy, and she also felt no warmer.

Jenny wanted to turn off the green light. She preferred to be in darkness rather than have everything bathed in the sickening green. She searched for a switch on the lamp but could see none. There wasn’t even an electrical cord on the lava lamp. She was pondering how the light could be working when she suddenly heard the screech of a car's tires as the driver slammed on his brakes followed by a woman’s piercing scream. After a few moments there were screams from other people to get help and to call an ambulance.

As she looked out her window, the street seemed as busy as it usually did. There were cars moving, and lights from windows and even a crowd of people. They were huddled around a woman who was lying in the street. Her arm was twisted beneath her in an unnatural way and there was blood running from her nose and mouth. Jenny immediately recognized the woman.

Jenny wanted to believe that she wasn’t seeing herself lying in the street, dying, but she knew that she was. She looked away from the window, but what she saw was equally terrifying. Everything in her apartment was completely different. The furnishings, the pictures on the wall, and even the paint colors had changed. There was a calendar on the wall that said it was the year 2021, nineteen years out of date. As she watched, an unfamiliar man came from the bedroom and raised the thermostat. He did not see Jenny. He picked up a device and appeared to be making a phone call. “Hello, Mr. Dilman? It’s Steven,your tenant. Yes, it happened again. Every night around 8:00 pm. Freezing cold. Uh huh, just the living room. Maybe if you stopped by one night you could see what I mean. Okay, thanks. See you then.”

Jenny couldn’t comprehend what was happening. She felt so terribly cold as she looked out of the window again. Everything was fading, becoming translucent. She watched as they loaded her body into the ambulance. Jenny could see her dying self mouthing the words, “I want to go home” and then watched as the light faded from her green eyes. At that moment, Jenny understood. She was overwhelmed with a wave of fear and sadness as she remembered everything. A long time ago she had rushed home on a cold night. She hadn’t paid attention as she crossed the street and a car had run into her. She had been very badly injured. Even her eyes had become clouded with tears and blood. She’d had the strange thought that it made the green traffic light resemble a lava lamp. She had died as they were putting her in the ambulance. Jenny also remembered that since then, she had been reliving the event every night.

The cold she was feeling became all consuming as she realized she might be doomed to repeat this night forever. If only she could rest for a moment, she thought. Maybe, then, she could figure a way out. But wasn’t that what she thought every night? She leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes.

Jenny was pulled from her sleep by a sudden lurch of the train. Her head was against the window and it took a few moments to orient herself. Her mind was clouded by the shadow of a nightmare. It was fading, but she still felt as if she was in a dream.

Short Story
2

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