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Dragon Ki-Ai Karate

A new fighting spirit unleashes in the Valley

By U.B. LightPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
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There weren't always dragons in the Valley. Karate in the Valley was dominated by uniforms with bonsai, cobras, and eagles showing fangs; the three major martial arts schools contending for who is the best around. Well I got news for all of them; it's none of them.

A word to the bonsai artists. Your way of the peaceful warrior is crap. To be a peaceful warrior, you must first be a warrior. To be a warrior you must possess at least some ability to be dangerous, but your wax on and wax offing has you better prepared for a career as an esthetician than stepping on the mat with me. When you hold the ability to at least do some damage, and choose otherwise, maybe then you'll be a peaceful warrior. Right now, you are all basically hippie tree huggers wearing martial arts gi on a career path to waxing hair off people’s bodies.

A word to the cobras. Strike first, strike hard, blah blah blah crap. You are now the second most badass dojo in the valley, with the second most badass name in the valley, and you will always take second place here on out, if you don't loose to the hippie tree hugger estheticians. I'll give you their number, so you can schedule your waxing.

A word to the eagles with the fangs. Eagles don't have fangs dumbasses. Enough said.

Brooklyn Born. Brooklyn Bred. Brooklyn brawling on the streets made our exterior as tough as dragon scales. You don't know what it is to be tough here in Valley. I don't care what you've been through. You haven't been homeless in Brooklyn, New York. This west coast makes you soft. You haven't fended for food, or clothes. You haven't fended off people who attacked your sister, and then learned she needed to learn to fend for herself. You don't have our fight. You don't have our drive. You don't have the burning fire inside that swells in you so much you breath fire like a dragon.

When Sensei saw us fight on the street, she took my sister and I in. She taught us some Ip Man stuff and mixed all the martial arts while mixing margaritas at night so we would have a place to stay. You see, we aren't afraid of trees, or snakes that have no bite, or eagles that have no fangs. We have no fear. We are highly motivated. It's 2000 sit ups, 500 hundred pushups, 100 pull ups, and a two mile run at 4 am, and that's just a warm up. It's school work in the day and training for hours into the evening. It makes us hungry. When we finally sit down to eat, it's a plate of snakes and eagles, and then we take a huge dump on bonsai trees.

Like all dragons, we like treasure, and we are coming for that All Valley Trophy. It's ours. My sister and I. Number one in men's and women's here on out. It was unfortunate for you before us, that when you got beaten by a bonsai, or a slithering reptile that can't stand up for itself, or the never existed eagle with fangs, you would have to tell your friends and your family or even strangers the embarrassing story of who whooped you on the mat.

Now you have something to look forward to. Now you can thank us. For the last thing you'll see victoriously walking away from you is a badass fire-breathing dragon on the back of our gi. At least then you can hold your head up to your friends, and family, and strangers, and say, I got beat by a Dragon!

People in this town will have said, "there weren't always dragons in the valley," . . .

(announcer: and now representing Dragon Ki-Ai Karate . . .)

Well enter the dragon. As I step out onto the mat, take witness to who is the best around.

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About the Creator

U.B. Light

U.B. Light writes fantastical fiction to explore heavy subjects and transform them into light. His first novel, Flicker: Light of a Lantern, debuted in December 2019. Please subscribe, like, share, and if a story touches you, a small tip.

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