Don't Tell Me Twice: Chapter Seven

Buck sat in her parent’s guest room, writing up a storm. She had been able to clear her mind over the last week, and she finally was feeling more like herself. Being around her family had brought her a sense of comfort, and even though her sister and mom annoyed her by bringing up the stories about Olive in the tabloids, she enjoyed the time that she got to spend with them. Buck also liked having Jim and Stacey so close. She hadn’t got to see them as much as she would have wanted since she was constantly on tour, and she had missed their conversations, forgetting how easy it was to talk to them. Buck knew that she was going to have to leave soon, so she had been trying to spend as much time with her friends and family as she could.

Despite her newfound sense of belonging, Buck knew her band would be waiting for her as soon as they found a replacement for Olive. They would be ready to get back on tour and make up all the tour dates that they had missed. Buck looked down at the desk in front of her. It was piled with notebook paper, containing lyrics for new songs. Some were about the feeling of coming home. Others were about going through changes, but most of them were about Olive. She wondered if the other woman thought about her anymore. It hadn’t really been that long but from the pictures that she had seen in the most recent tabloids, Olive looked happy. In one, she was even wearing a ring. It was hard to imagine that her life had changed so quickly in such a small amount of time. She felt like a completely different person. She felt so alone, even when there were people around, she felt empty.

Having Jim and her family around helped her, but it was just a temporary buffer, keeping her from working out her feelings. Buck knew that she would have to come to terms with the idea that Olive had moved on. She would have to move on herself, but for the time being, she expressed her feelings in the lyrics that she wrote, strumming her guitar to find music that fit her emotions. Music always seemed to explain how she felt more than words could, and when she played, there was a sense of relief that took her away from the current state of chaos in her life. Buck took out a new sheet of paper and began to write a few lyrics down. Feeling sad had its perks. Her writing had surely improved.

Just as she found the right words to tie the song together, her phone rang. She picked it up and saw Ralph’s name displayed across the screen. “Hello,” Buck answered.

“Buck?” Ralph replied. “Are you drunk?”

“No,” Buck laughed, wondering how he had gotten that impression.

“You sound groggy,” Ralph chuckled. “Sorry to assume.”

“It’s crazy that that was the first thing that came to your head,” Buck replied, somewhat amused. “I just haven’t gotten much sleep,” she said, thinking about the sleepless nights that had haunted her recently.

“Well, you better rest up,” Ralph told her. “We have found a replacement for Olive, and I need you to fly out to the studio in Sacramento tomorrow so that I can get the band together. We need to release a promotional CD with all the current band members before we go back on tour.”

“Tomorrow?” Buck inquired. “You are not much for giving a person a person a forewarning, are you?”

“Time is money,” Ralph replied. “Your fans have waited long enough.”

“Alright,” Buck said. “Can you book me a ticket? I need to let my family know that I have to fly out.”

“Already did,” Ralph told her. “I just sent you the confirmation email.”

“Thank you,” Buck said. “Well, I guess that I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure will,” Ralph said.

“And Buck…”

“Yeah?”

“Perk up. Life’s not that bad.”

Buck hung up the phone and organized her writing paper into a pile. She needed to pack, and she needed to say her goodbyes. She was both nervous and excited to get back to work. She had enjoyed her break, but with so much creativity flowing through her, she was pumped to get back on stage with the new music that she had written. It would be odd without Olive by her side, but Buck was ready for something new, and she was curious to see who the band had so quickly chosen to replace her former lover.