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“Don’t Tell Me Twice”: Chapter Nineteen

Soaking It All In

By Nicole Higginbotham-HoguePublished 2 years ago 4 min read

Ziggy soaked in the details of the morning, knowing that Olive’s return would impact the intimate growth that she had shared with Buck the night before. She knew that she shouldn’t have expected anything to last between the two of them. Buck had avoided her since Olive’s return, and though she felt like the two of them should talk, she didn’t want to push it.

The group had made the final trek into Seattle, where they were awaiting that night’s convert. The venue manager had been friendly, allowing them early access into the building, which gave them time to warm up. It also gave Buck time to call Ralph and inform him that Olive was back and time for Buck to put the phone on speaker so that the group could listen to Ralph rant and rave about the fact that they couldn’t postpone the tour again to get Olive caught up.

Ziggy did her best to keep her cool, not wanting to show any vulnerability in front of the others. She couldn’t help but feel sad after Buck brushed her off so quickly, and even though she tried to remind herself that the two of them had only known each other for a short amount of time, Ziggy still felt a strong connection with the other woman. Buck was easy for her to talk to, and once she had gotten past her touch exterior, Ziggy could see that the other woman was a good person.

She looked over at Buck, noticing that the other woman was arguing with Olive. The scene confused her a bit as she knew how distraught Buck had appeared after Olive had left her. Ziggy had expected Buck to be more pleased to see Olive when she came back, but from what she was witnessing, that didn’t seem to be the case. Ziggy watched as Olive stormed off, and Buck’s eye caught hers. Buck immediately began to walk Ziggy’s way, and she prepared herself.

“I can’t believe her,” Buck said, sitting down next to Ziggy.

“Who?” Ziggy replied. “Olive?”

“Yeah, she comes back and just thinks that she is in charge of everything,” Buck said, shaking her head.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, first she comes back and takes over your spot on the guitar. Then, she wants to change the song line-up, and then, she started talking about how she was going to call Ralph back and convince him to postpone tonight’s show, because she thinks that we need more practice.”

“Ralph already said that we weren’t postponing any of the shows,” Ziggy commented.

“Yeah, But Olive has a way with him,” Buck told her. “There’s a chance that she will change his mind.”

“That’s not good,” Ziggy said. “We’ve been working hard to get the tour back on schedule. How is she going to throw away all of that work?”

“Because she doesn’t care,” Buck replied. “She doesn’t care about us or the fans. She’s focused on herself and what makes her happy. She’s not the same Olive that I knew at all.”

“I’m sorry,” Ziggy said. “It must be hard to see her change.”

“It is,” Buck replied. “I never thought I’d say this, but after being around her, I don’t even feel the same way that I used to. I thought I would feel more emotional towards her, but I just feel angry at her and myself.”

“I think that you have such strong feelings for her because you still care about her,” Ziggy confessed. “I also feel like you are ignoring everything that happened between us last night, and I think that I made a bad choice by sleeping with you. I know that you are having a hard time right now, but I think that you need to hear this. You are clearly not over Olive, and you haven’t moved on. I can be a friend to you, but I can’t be with you intimately while you are still in love with her. I can’t do that to myself.”

Buck was quiet as she looked down in thought. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, and I understand what you are saying,” she finally said. “Last night shouldn’t have gone that far.”

“No, it shouldn’t have,” Ziggy confirmed. “And you shouldn’t say that you love someone when you don’t. It plays with a person’s emotions. I get that you might have had a moment of weakness with everything that has been going on, but next time that you say that to someone, make sure that you mean it.”

“For sure,” Buck said, clearly closing down.

Ziggy could tell by her body language that the other woman was about to leave, and she didn’t blame her. Buck had been having a tough time lately, but Ziggy respected herself too much to be used, even if it wasn’t intentional. And even though she wanted to be friends with Buck, she wasn’t willing to be intimate with her again. She wasn’t willing to take a risk that would hurt her emotionally in the process.


About the Creator

Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue

Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue is a lesfic author at Sign-up for her newsletter at

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