Do-Over

If Newt had read this book 20 years ago, his whole life would have been different. He wouldn’t have been cleaning the Time Travel Institute, he was sure he’d be running it.

All those tips and stories made everything seem so obvious. Things it had taken Newt years to figure out, notions about life and what mattered, all set out in black ink. He’d made so many mistakes over the years. So many messed up relationships and lost jobs. So many years, numbed by drink and drugs. But this book - God, if he’d had this book when he was younger, it’d all have been different.

Newt stumbled into work the following day. He watched, mop in hand, as those kids played with their machines; turning back time to resurrect frogs and beetles and a whole manner of other creatures long extinct. Surely, they could be using time travel for something else, something bigger?

He’d likely be thrown out of the Institute, if he told them his opinions about the bugs, they went to so much effort to save. Who cares? I probably squished six bugs on my way to work! But the pay was good, and even though he walked the halls almost entirely unnoticed, he liked his job well enough.

Soon it was time for lunch. Newt munched on his cold ham sandwich while opening his book to one of the pages he’d post-it noted. The title of the chapter read ‘seize the day.’

And perhaps Newt was suffering from temporary insanity, or he was still drunk from last night, but he found himself brushing the crumbs off his trousers and walking into the time travel chamber.

He’d cleaned this room a million times before. He nodded at Jerry, the security guard and held his mop tightly to his chest, hands sweaty on the handle. He’d tucked his book underneath his armpit and hoped his perspiration didn’t damage the cover.

He’d seen those kids use the machine a million times before. He could work it practically in his sleep. But was he willing to do this? He stared down at the mop, then at his dirt-stained trousers and worn, holey shoes. “Seize the day.” He whispered to himself.

He dropped the mop to the floor, and fast as he could, he entered the date into the keypad. Not giving himself the time to doubt or overthink his decision. He could hear Jerry shouting into his walkie, as he ran over to him. Newt swallowed, knowing it was now or never. He pressed the button.

And just like that, he was falling through time. His body was weightless, as he tumbled through the vast blackness. His stomach churned, and he was worried he was about to throw up. He landed, back hitting the floor hard. He grumbled as he got to his feet and widened his eyes. He was in his college dorm. It had worked! Lying on the bed asleep was his younger self. Newt rubbed the back of his own head self-consciously, suddenly missing the full head of hair he used to have.

He noted the bottles on the side of his younger self’s bed with dismay. He held his life-changing book gingerly in his hands, ready in equal measure to give it to the boy gently and to hit him over the head with it. "You don't know what you're doing;" he snarled. "You don't know the path you’re sending us on." The boy didn't stir. Newt walked over to his bed and unceremoniously shook his younger self awake.

"Yo." Young Newt grumbled sleepily. "Where's the fire?"

"Wake up." Older Newt snarled.

“Okay grandpa, jeez.”

“Grandpa.” Older Newt huffed, “Who are you calling —" Newt growled and cut himself off, “it doesn’t matter.” He mumbled under his breath, “I don’t know how much time I have left. Can’t waste it pulling out his hair.”

Older Newt pressed his book into younger Newt’s hands.

“What’s this for?”

“Reading.” Older Newt snarled and was tempted to add ‘you imbecile’ to the end but decided not to. He wanted young Newt to listen to him, and for that, he had to keep him on his side as well as he could. He swallowed his anger, and said as sweetly as he could muster, “this book will change your life. I would like for you to read it.”

“Whatever dude.” Young Newt said and rolled over as if ready to fall back asleep.

Newt felt his temper flare. He picked up the bottle by the bed and took a sip to ease his nerves, only to cough.

“This is bloody Absinthe.” He snarled.

“Yeah,” Young Newt grumbled, “so what?”

Older Newt closed his eyes and counted to three. “So, you’re not going to remember a shred of this conversation tomorrow morning, now, are you?” Young Newt shrugged, he was beginning to understand why his father had threatened to throttle him so often.

“So, so I’m trying to change our life.” Newt clenched his hands as he felt a sudden pull that he knew meant he would soon need to return to his time. Groaning he quickly tore a page out of the front of the book and wrote a note, “Read this, it’ll change your life.” Before placing it and the book on his small desk. As he was yanked back into his own time, he closed his eyes and prayed that he’d done enough to make a difference.

He opened his eyes, to find a tall woman standing over him with crossed arms. “What the hell did you do?” She snarled, “what did you change?”

Newt swallowed and answered honestly, “I handed my younger self a book.”

Her eyes narrowed. Newt noted the mop still on the floor with dismay. “Am I still a cleaner? Or do I have another position here now? Where do I live? Does my house overlook the sea? Am I married to Nicole Bell?” He said, referencing a famous movie star of their time.

The lady sighed. “Yes, you’re still a cleaner. You live in Portside Apartments, Room 11B. It does not overlook the sea. Natalie Bell is married to Jacob Day and your records do not indicate marriage or a recent serious relationship.”

Newt’s eyes widened. “So, nothing’s changed. Nothing at all! Except now I’m probably going to jail, oh God!”

“Just you wait,” she sighed, “we’ll need to see the exact repercussions your actions have had. You never know what untold changes they might bring about.” She pulled a tablet device from her pocket and entered the date Newt had gone back to, reading it off the machine.

He watched his exchange playback on the screen, cringing all the while, at his stupid younger self and his desperate attempts to get him to listen to him.

The boy had fallen back asleep as soon as he’d left. The lady - Jackie - her name tag said, skipped ahead on the recording until they were watching the boy groggily wake up the following day. Newt watched hopefully as he picked up the book. Only for the boy to raise an eyebrow and pop it back on the desk, ignoring the note entirely, before switching his alarm clock off.

“Okay, he’ll read it later,” Newt said, crossing his fingers. Jackie skipped ahead again - the boy slept in until noon! When he woke - he just got changed and headed off, not even glancing at the desk.

She skipped forward again. This time the boy did pick up the book to examine it fully, reading the title and turning the first few pages, - hope rose within Newt. Finally, the boy was seeing sense! But his hopes were dashed completely, as Young Newt began to tear out a page, and used the thin sheet to roll a joint.

Newt moaned and they didn’t watch anymore.

“The fool didn’t even read it.” Newt snarled, “not one word. Not one bloody word!”

“I see that your trip has had a limited impact on the timeline,” Jackie said quietly.

Newt was tempted to scream, “No bloody shit.” But paused and decided not to, remembering that this lady was still here to arrest him.

“How long will I be put away?” He said, with hunched shoulders.

The lady smiled down at him gently, “the severity of one’s crime, depends on the severity of the impact it had on the timeline. Seeing what a,” she paused, “small difference your trip made, we would classify you as an unregistered tourist. The sentencing is 3 months community service.”

Newt felt his chest lighten ever so slightly. He wouldn’t spend the rest of his life in jail. His life would be - well exactly the same as it was. He sighed and hugged his arms around his chest. “It did nothing, nothing at all. My life didn’t change one bit. That stupid idiot –”

“You do realise you’re just insulting yourself?” Jackie said, with a small smile.

Newt shrugged, not caring. The guards that had gathered around before, slowly dwindled away, sensing the threat was over, and the two of them were left to talk alone.

“You know,” Jackie said, placing her hand on his shoulder gently “Everyone at the organisation is always tempted to go back and change something about themselves or something that they’ve done. Hindsight is the curse of the time traveller.”

“Well, I’ve got a whole lot of that,” Newt said with a grimace.

“A sapling does not grow to be a mighty oak, overnight." She said gently, "You can’t hate yourself for not being the person you are now, 20 years ago. It took you this long to get here; to have these values, to see the wisdom in something important.”

Newt just looked down at his feet.

“You risked so much, to change your life.” Jackie said, “Why?”

Newt glared at her. He didn’t grace her with an answer. He simply gestured at himself. She’d read his file; she knew who he was and the little he’d done with his life.

“You’re not happy with your life.” She said simply. He gave her an unimpressed look. But she only grinned. “You know, there is a saying, that the best time to do something important was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now. The more you travel through time, the more you realise that now is all you have. You can moan and grumble about all you should’ve done, or you can start doing it. It’s as simple as that.”

Newt stood there for some time, considering what she had said and the various failures throughout his life. He could see now that that fool boy in his college dorm, would never see sense. His brain was too fogged with booze and drugs. He didn’t see the importance of working towards a better future. It wouldn’t matter how many times, he went back to yell at him because the imbecile didn’t know any better – yet.

“Now it is then,” he said with a heavy sigh. He walked out of the chamber, leaving his mop behind him. His book had told him to ‘seize the day, he planned to do just that.