Do not be imprisoned by the views of others in your life

Living in this quagmire, there will always be too many things that hold us back.

Some because of their weight, some because of their natural curls, and some because of certain bad worldly customs and norms.

In the end, we care too much about what others think in our lives, and to put it bluntly, we care too much about how we are perceived in the eyes of others.

But the more you care about what others think, the easier it is to ignore your feelings and become inferior and timid.

1.

When I was a kid, I learned to draw for a while. In the studio, I met a girl named Jiaqi from the next class.

She often had short hair, often with a can of tea made from lemon slices by her side.

She was a bit fat, not very talkative, and even hid in the innermost corner of the studio alone to avoid the attention of others.

Of course, if she saw a student's pencil fall at her feet, she would immediately help to pick it up and dust it off and return it to others.

Last winter, Jiaqi contacted me because we were working together.

The last time I saw her was three years ago.

The years have changed, and when I saw her again, I was amazed at how much she had changed.

Looking at her now with just the right body and light feet, I simply can not put the girl in front of her and the past impression of the girl overlap together.

You know, Jiaqi was once a girl who was so fat that she was afraid to stand on the scale during the school physical.

The first time I saw her, she didn't look at me like she was in a strange place and finally found someone she could talk to, so she talked to me.

2.

Jiaqi was not fat when she was born, only three pounds and two. It is said that when she was five years old, she had a serious illness and took a lot of hormonal drugs, and slowly gained weight.

At first, she did not have any idea about being fat, only that her body seemed to swell up all of a sudden. She would ask the adults around her why she was so much fatter than her peers.

They all reassured her that she was still young and that her body would be twitchy when she grew up. Jiaqi could only nod her head in a puzzled way.

The first time Jiaqi realized she was really fat was when she was ten years old, she almost crushed her cousin to death.

That summer night, her cousin stayed overnight to sleep with her. Jiaqi is usually used to sleeping alone, sleep is not very honest, always fall to the east and west, did not expect to turn around and extend a hand to press the sleeping cousin.

When Jiaqi woke up from her sleep, the little cousin next to her was breathing heavily, pale, and in a cold sweat, and even her words were slurred.

The cousin's mother and father were rushed to send her to the hospital for emergency treatment. I don't know if the doctor was scaring people, but he said seriously that if he sent the doctor later, his cousin would be in deep shock.

Jiaqi looked at her fat hands, feeling particularly scared and self-conscious, she realized for the first time that fat can kill.

The students and friends around her always gave her various nicknames because she was fat. Fat woman, sow, and fat, these three are the most commonly called.

Because of the fat, all the good-looking and delicious food seems to be insulated from her. She could only stare at the bright and beautiful dresses and cakes in the window.

Because she was fat, she was always ignored and had few friends around her. Whenever the teacher was seating her, few people would want to sit at the same table as her.

At first, she didn't understand why she wasn't liked, so she always tried her best to please them.

I remember when almost every class in junior high school was raising silkworms, Jiaqi would always go to school early and give everyone the mulberry leaves she had picked in advance.

She often ran errands for her classmates to buy snacks at the school commissary, and often took out her pocket money to buy goodies for her classmates.

She always took the dirty work on herself when the class was cleaned up once a week.

The other people said what she followed and agreed, others said to the east, she never to the west.

Because she hated this feeling of not having friends and being ostracized. So choose to be a thoughtless puppet, the most real self wrapped up, at the mercy of others.

In her mind, if she did not do that, no one would look at her more, and no one would recognize her efforts.

All she does is hope to please the people around her, to make them notice her, and to become good friends with them.

But those who were pleased would think of Jiaqi when they were bored, and there were hardly any people who became good friends with her.

Gradually, she became sensitive and had low self-esteem. Whenever someone around her mentioned the word fat, she would be so nervous that she wanted to curl up.

Every time you walk into the elevator will deliberately tense their bodies, and squeezed them into the innermost corner, afraid of a careless collision, which will usher in the eyes of others' disdain.

Fear of being left out, ignored, disliked, but also fear of the ridicule of others. So, you want to spend all your life choking the throat of others, often wandering in their feelings and the views of others. To please others, the "self" fell hard on the ground, self-conscious first stepped on, that unique personality, like carved jade generally polished by their several times to no trace.

Once a person becomes inferior, it is really difficult to get around, and will naturally suffer a lot of aggravation.

Once in a study session, everyone was buried in doing the exercises assigned by the teacher. In addition to the rustling sound of flipping through books, almost no other sound could be heard.

Suddenly in a corner of the class came a "poof" sound.

Before anyone could react, the male student sitting in front of Jiaqi immediately jumped up and said, "Jiaqi farted!" The class was in an uproar.

But Jiaqi didn't, so she blushed and retorted loudly, "Not me!"

The boys in the front row were not to be outdone: "Who else could it be? You're so fat and you eat so much every day that you fart!" There was another outcry from the class.

Just as Jiaqi gritted her teeth and tried to retort, the class teacher rushed over and reprimanded everyone to be quiet. Jiaqi had to swallow her anger aggressively.

On another occasion, Jiaqi gave up a shady parking space to other students and locked her bike in the sun, which unfortunately blew out in the summer heat.

The male students who passed by laughed at her for being too heavy, and Jiaqi pushed her flat-tire bike home in the hot sun with her backpack dripping sweat, accompanied only by the hoarse chirping of cicadas.

When I finally got to graduation, the teacher lined up for the graduation photo shoot, but Jiaqi was deliberately absent. I read Jiaqi's name four times, but no one responded.

Because ten minutes before, their classmates casually joked that she was standing in the upper right corner, occupying two people's seats by herself

The more she thought about it, the sadder she became, and she hid in the bathroom alone, sobbing.

Those buried in the depths of the inferiority complex have long exceeded the maximum load, living Jiaqi into a sensitive and suspicious person, timid and heartbreaking.

3.

To shut people's mouths and not be belittled by others, Jiaqi lived almost every day in the eyes and opinions of others and secretly vowed to lose weight.

When it comes to summer vacation, all the other kids are playing together and enjoy a relaxing vacation. But Jiaqi stared at the diet plan posted on the refrigerator, jumped rope,d a hunger strike at home.

As her family worked early and late, Kaki ate only one meal a day, secretly tying her pants tightly and sharing dinner with her family.

Every year blowing out birthday candles to make a birthday wish is always the same, that is, to lose weight successfully. This may sound a little ridiculous, but it is a little girl's biggest dream since childhood.

She said do not need to reduce how beautiful, how slim, just need to be able to successfully become thin, which is already the greatest grace of God to their own.

She has tried many ways to lose weight, eating apples, using plastic wrap to shape, a hunger strike, eating diet pills, and acupuncture, but all the methods that she heard can lose weight, she silently wrote down, and tried them all!

If it weren't for the fact that she needed a guardian to sign for the gastrectomy, Jiaqi said she would have tried to lose weight by cutting her stomach.

At that time, Jiaqi can start school to show everyone a thin self, in order to win more respect, even if stathe living flat is also willing to do it.

In fact, in the adolescent development period, everyone is growing body, not exaggerate to say, even if you do not increase the number of meals, feel like drinking cold water will be fat, Jiaqi is no exception.

She looked at her own body getting fatter and fatter, and despair, when sitting down to count the layer of fat on the belly covered a layer of sadness and despair.

Finally, there was a relentless effort to lose ten pounds, looking at the clothes model from XXL to L, Jiaqi jumped up with joy.

But things are not as they should be, every time you rely on those weight loss methods will almost always rebound.

Of course, at the end of the story, Kaki, sitting across from me, finally lost weight successfully. She shared with me her secret to weight loss: lose the opinions of others, focus on your own heart, and change for yourself.

Until the moment she met me, she did not purposely show off her weight loss results, of ch only she could probably appreciate the effort she put in. I think what others think is no longer so important to her.

We all want to become more perfect, but if we change for the sake of other people's opinions, then we care about what they think of you anushat they say about you. Russo-called change is just a pretext to deceive yourself for a while, a reason for low self-esteem, anexpandd use to escape. Each person is an independent individual, we do not exist for anyone, choose to become better, just to love themselves well.

4.

A while ago, many people in the myrtle of friends plaplayedther people's impression of you", I did not forward. I thought about it carefully, but what others think of me is rea that important.

The people don't know and don't feel, no matter how good you think I am, or bad, life is still my own life.

There was a time when I was also a person who cared about what others thought. The same moral contempt and other people do not care about the eyes, will close the door to alone sad.

Because others do not understand, I used to make vicious expexpressions the whole world, beat it, cursed it, spit on it, and even to e in this world have been disappointed.

Later, I thought it was not worth it, no one would be responsible for my stupidity, and those wasted time and opportunities, only to bear themselves.

The only way to stop is to seriously ask yourself what you need, and cater to the views of others is happy?

If I could go back in time, I would have to say to my silly self with flat bangs lying on the railing, "Girl, don't let other people's opinions confine your life, you are you! As long as the heart is strong enough, no matter how difficult it is, there is no fear!

The first thing you need to do is to be strong and conquer the inferiority complex and fears that are annihilated within yourself.

From those glamorous, those provocative eyes, those good or bad comments to break out. Move the spotlight to your own heart, coalesce on yourself, pay real attention to yourself, and respect your true feelings, rather than focusing on yourself in the eyes of others.

5.

It is almost impossible to be liked by everyone. If you want to be liked by everyone, you will give up your yourself.

Want to please everyone, and will certainly be physically and mentally exhausted. If you want to please everyone, you will not be loved by everyone.

The world is too big, and not so many people will pay attention to you all the time. As long as we are open-minded and have a clear conscience, we don't have to care about everything.

Because you simply do not care over the.

Those who like you, not because of your suffering, your momentary slowness, and away from you. And those who hate you can always find a variety of reasons to belittle you and denigrate you.

If someone will hate you and condemn you because of your sincerity, because of the kindness and warmth you release.

Believe me, they are not worth cherishing. The only thing you can do is to move those who despise and denigrate you far away and not even look at them.

Other people's words are always considered a reference, not everyone has to be boxed in by a routine and measured by a standard.

Don't let other people's opinions kill your life, and don't use other people's brains to think about your own life, you like that way of living, and I may not.

There are too many wonderful things in life waiting for me to fill up and embellish, which we have more heart and time to please others to get approval.