DisGRUNTled

This story is part of the Vocal + Assist on Facebook Lost in a Story Challenge. You can learn more about it here:

Oh, sure! Cheer for the runt that got saved! Saved by a SPIDER, of all things! Some words a human “saw” spelled out in a web? Puh-leeez! Probably imagined it. They imagine all sorts of things.

And if an INTELLIGENT spider DID decide to spell out something, I imagine it would have been something along the lines of, “Thou shalt not kill.” Now THERE'S a phrase that would have demanded attention AND taken the rest of us into consideration. And this SPIDER had a name? Charlotte, my hams! Charlatan, if you ask me.

Come on, think about it. “Some pig?” The human response is “Yes, thank you, and are there any beans?” And, “Humble?” What's that even mean? We're PIGS! How about, “Pork clogs arteries?”

But nooooo, this spider saves ONE pig, and where does that leave the rest of us? Not to mention the cows! Then she leaves part of her OWN litter here for US to babysit! Some heroine!

I hope you sailed into a burn barrel, “shar – lut!”