Departing from the Relationship

“But I love you.”

Four words. Uttered on the scarcely crowded platform in a Portland Amtrak train station. The tracks of a fleeting relationship leading in various directions. Kendra held Sophia’s pale-colored hand, aware this would be their final minute together.

“We talked about this. We can’t stay together,” Kendra whispered. This looks like the end of the line for our relationship, Soph. It doesn’t have to be, though.

“I know,” Sophia answered back. Releasing Kendra’s melanin hand, Sophia wrapped her arms around Kendra. Holding her tightly. Embracing her one last time. If only we could stay like this forever. I don’t want to lose you.

Kendra stared down at Sophia’s straight blond hair with her brown eyes. Why was she doing this? She’s the one who wants to break up with me. She’s the one—

“Your attention, please. The Coast Starlight train to Los Angeles is now boarding on platform 2. Passengers, please have your tickets ready for inspection as you board. We wish you a pleasant journey.” The announcement brought them both back to the platform.

Only a few seconds left. “Listen, this is already complicated enough. You have your new teaching job in Redding, your hometown. I have to head out to New York to start my career. There is no way we can keep this going.” Kendra started, the truth bubbling in her stomach, waiting to explode. Besides that, you know the real reason, Soph.

“There is! We can face-time. Text messages. With all the tech we have now, we don’t have to say goodbye.” What am I saying? My parents would be livid if they ever found out about us.

True. All the technological advancements make any long distant relationship possible to maintain. Unlike their parents, who relied on letter writing and occasional long distant phone calls with limited time. Discord, Zoom, Facebook, and many other video conferencing apps eliminated the I-wish-I-could-see-your-face aspect of long-distance relationships.

“Soph, you know that’s not the real reason for our break-up.” Kendra retorted. Ugh, I hate being the villain. We have been through this multiple times. I’m not going to be your little secret. Why can’t you just live your life? Tell your parents who you really are.

Tears started to form in Sophia’s soft blue eyes. Kendra’s words stabbed her in the heart. She buried her face in Kendra’s chest. “I know. But, why can’t we just be friends?” Seriously, we can still be friends. My parents don’t have to know about us, or what we’ve done. Think about what we’ve had for the past six months.

You know why. Kendra clenched her lips. Your Parents. Their beliefs. Your hometown. If you cared more about us than your parents’ opinion, we could still be together. “We can’t, and you know that,” Kendra’s soft voice whispered. Unless you become honest with your parents and tell them the truth.

Passengers boarding the train walked past the sobbing couple, taking with them the remaining precious seconds they had with each other.

Kendra whispered. “We agreed to this. To go our own separate way. Explore what life has for the both of us. And—”

“If fate is to have us meet again, then we will.” Sophia finished. Why did I say I believed in fate? She’s not really going to let me go, is she? Maybe we weren’t meant to be.

“Exactly,” Kendra mumbled. Soph, you’re just not ready. I don’t know when you will be, but making me wait for when you are, is not fair to me.

The departing signal called for Sophia.

No! Already. I…don’t want to go. Come on, Ken, say something. Say you want me to stay.

“You better get going, or you’ll miss the train,” Kendra said. That’s it? You’re really going to board and leave? Leave me behind? Leave us behind? After half a year? Don’t board. Just stay. Say you’ve changed your mind.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sophia replied tearfully. Say something, Ken. Say something. Don’t let me leave like this. Sophia walked towards the doors and stepped up onto the train. She turned around to face Kendra. Her vision blurred by the tears. Call me back, Ken. Tell me I’m making the wrong choice.

Kendra remained rooted on the platform as the doors closed. The train began to move, stealing her first true love from her. All she could do was wave at the departing train. Damn, why didn’t I say anything. Why did she just leave me like this? Fate, my ass. Why did I come up with that cockamamie reasoning about fate? I wanted her to stay. Maybe this is for the better. Maybe it was never meant to be, or she would have changed her mind and stayed. I hope she finds happiness.

As the train pulled away, Sophia watched Kendra fall out of view. I will never forget you, Ken. She found an empty seat and buried her face in her hands. Why can’t my parents be more accepting of who I am? Every time I talk to them, it’s “Find a man. Get married. Have kids.” If only they knew. If only I had the courage to tell them. They would probably disown me. So many times, my father shared his resentment for the LGBTQ community, with my mother siding with him. “You better not be gay,” he would yell. No, I have to be the perfect daughter. Conserve our beliefs and family values. Ken, I wish you the best. I know you will find someone who will make you happy. Too bad it couldn’t be me. I’ll honor your wishes and leave you alone.

She pressed the block button on her phone and deleted Kendra from her contacts, but not her heart, just as Kendra did the same back at the station.