Death, hate and chocolate cake

Arrogant and somewhat imposing he just stood there in the hallway. Acting like this was his house. No respect for me. No respect for my home. His hair was medium in length and unwashed, dressed in nothing but boxer shorts and a T-shirt. I couldn't bear to talk to him. Not now, not ever. It was the way he manipulated things. No, it was his smug fucking smile that made me want to kill him .....

I had to get out of this house. I need to be alone. Yes, leaving Emma alone with this cocky upstart was unfair, but I had to get out of here. There wasn't enough room in this flat. I knew Emma would have very much liked to come with me. Not now though I couldn't, I just needed to think and be on my own. My smug bastard of a brother tried to say something to me, but I didn't listen. I grabbed my coat and left. I did not slam the door, but I very much wanted to. The air was fresh and the weather mild. Within two seconds I felt better. I was away from him.

I sat down on a bench in a busy part of town deliberately. I wanted to watch the people come and go. All the people with their happy families, coming and going. Smiles and conversation, flowing effortlessly. I didn't envy them. I was a loner in truth, but I didn't mind. Ever since Emma, I had been better, been happier. What a companionship we made. Ultimately I did like being on my own.

Some would say that we are nothing more than a product of our environment. Shaped by actions of others. Defined by where we have been, not where we are going. I know this all too well as I studied psychology at college. It wasn't my fault I am the way I am; it wasn't my fault I hated my brother.

A dad walked by with his child, football in his arms. That was the sort of bonding that I had never got as a child. At least that was something we could agree on. My brother might have been a real piece of work but it was nothing compared to my old man. Contempt can hold a man back. That's why I'd left all that behind me. It didn't matter since that sick son of a bitch was dead anyway. Long dead. I guess that the reality was the only thing we had in common was that bastard.

It was time to move on. Although, I decided to take the long way back. Let's face it, as long as I could be out of the flat, the better. I still needed to get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing. After all, he was here indefinitely now. I don't even remember the reason he broke up with Kelly.

The key turned easily in the lock, but I did not open the door. I took a moment to compose myself. Compose my thoughts. Yes, I did hate this man more than anyone else, but he was still my younger brother. We'd both been through hell so, at least I could relate to that. Looking on the bright side, he might have found another woman to date so, he might not be in my hair for much longer. I don't know why I entered my own home so cautiously, but I did. Standing there, I was in total disbelief there was no noise or immediate issues. I walked into the kitchen on edge.

"Yo, happy birthday my man" My brother chirped to me. My birthday? Was it really my fucking birthday? I didn't remember so it might well be.

"Made you this epic cake. Full chocolate bro. Triple chocolate." he said his tone excited and proud.

"Really? That's nice of you" I said almost as an apology for the nasty thoughts that had been occupying my mind for the last hours and days. I felt a warmth from my brother like I had never felt. He did care about me after all.

"Yeah ..... I saved you a bit, but your dog ate it. Fucking hell man she stuffed her face with it. Would have told her no, but she loved it" he said with glee. "You'd be proud she nearly ate the whole thing. I know you love your dog so I'm sure you wouldn't have minded" he finished.

As the brief warmth, I felt for him disappeared and was replaced by a rage so hateful and spiteful. A rage only my father would have been proud of. I decided that after all, we are defined by our environment.