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Dear Charlie

Another high school story

By Chloe Rose Violet 🌹Published 2 years ago • Updated 2 years ago • 8 min read
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Dear Charlie
Photo by Redd on Unsplash

Edited to add a song to listen to while reading. It was released by Three Days Grace well after this was written. I hope you enjpy the song and story just like I do.

Dear Charlie,

I swear that my anxiety disorder has gotten worse since I moved away from home. I have begun some new medication the past little while. It started to help a little bit. I’ve also started writing again. That’s why I am writing to you. I miss you. But I don’t miss that school. I don’t miss the constant fear of being shoved into a locker or hearing my name on the lips of everyone's mouths. My new school is huge. There are over one thousand kids attending in all four grades. So far, I haven’t had any luck making friends but I have no trouble blending in with the rest of the students. There are some major cliques here though from what I've noticed. The jocks, the cheerleaders, the geeks, the band nerds, the preppies, and the misfits. But it was the same back at McAllister so it is nothing new I guess. I just hope that I fit in somewhere.

Today is my first day at my new school, St. Mark's High School. It got lost over a dozen times. It is like a huge maze. First period was rather interesting. It was math… my least favourite subject.. It wasn’t too bad though. We didn’t do anything but introductions. I wasn’t the only new kid though in that class. The teacher is a tall, scrawny man with a grey beard. I don’t recall his last name because he said it so quickly and he pronounced it funny. So he told us all to just call him Mr.L, which was fine by me.

Second period was creative writing. (See I wasn’t kidding you when I said I was starting to write again). The teacher, Ms. Addams was a fluttery brand new teacher, just like me, the brand new student. She seems to have a huge passion for the kids she taught and writing. I think I will enjoy that class a lot more than I give myself credit for.

Thankfully I have 3rd period spare, which is nice. That’s where I am while writing to you now. I managed to find the library and I’m sitting on one of the couches in the far corner. The library is almost fully made of glass. It’s bright, airy, and so far my favourite place other than the abandoned house in between yours and my old one back home. I am starting to feel hopelessly homesick.

Pausing in thought, I looked up from my bright pink journal. There were a few other kids milling around the library. I sighed to myself and set the pen down. Nothing will take away this ache inside. And I wished to death my best friend Charlie was here.

I had both of my earbuds in while I was writing and I was listening to some heavy metal music when a loud voice interrupted me.

“Hey!” I looked up. The voice came from a dark-haired boy standing less than 2 feet away from my spot on the green chair in the library. He was wearing a ‘St. Mark’s Football’ team shirt and dark blue jeans.

I took out one ear bud and looked at him quizzically. “Your music is really loud.” His green eyes sparkled underneath his black hair that flopped into his face. He pushed it out of his eyes and shot me a cute smile.

I felt my face flush. “Uh, sorry about that. I’ll try and keep it down.”

He laughed. Oh God his laugh was glorious. “Hey as long as it’s heavy metal it's fine by me. I mean someone else might have an issue with it though. What were you listening to?”

I smiled softly. "Three Day's Grace's new album."

He sat down on the couch next to me and asked, “Hey, that album is insane. I listen to Three Days Grace when I work-out. My name is Trey. You new here?”

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “I'm Lexi. Just moved here from Westbrook.” I checked his reaction slyly.

“Westbrook huh?” His green eyes sparkled again and he crossed his arms casually beside me. His muscles strained against his shirt. “That’s only 3 hours from here.”

I felt guilty for checking him out. I really did, but I continued talking to him anyways. “Yeah not too far. What about you?”

He chuckled. “Nope. Jamestown, born and raised.”

“Oh? You proud of that?” I asked him jokingly.

He winked and said slyly, “Possibly little lady.”

I laughed at how ridiculous he was. I actually laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. But just as soon as it had arrived, my smile and laughter disappeared. The guy smiled. “Hey, want go see someplace awesome?” I nodded yes.

He led me through rows and rows of bookshelves in this massive library till we arrived at a door. He pulled out a paperclip and picked the lock easily. I was very impressed. The door opened to a wooden staircase. I followed the random football guy up the stairs to a dusty attic area where old desks, chairs, and other miscellaneous items lay.

"If you need a place to hide and write, I'd recommend hiding in here. Not a lot of people to disturb you listening to your heavy metal up here." Trey smiled at me.

I look at him in astonishment. "Why would you show me how to get in here?"

He just smiled back at me. The warning bell for our next period rang. "Sometime's a guy just knows. I'll see you around Lexi."

The rest of my day went by uneventfully. I met a nice girl in my 5 th period French class with beautiful coiled copper hair. One more year left and then I will be gone, away from this place and starting a new adventure at college. One more step.

I’m finally done school now Charlie. I’m on the bus riding back to my Auntie Kay’s apartment. I met someone named Trey today and he seemed to be quite nice. He made me laugh today. Fourth period was a little weird. At McAllister we just called it lunch but, here at St. Mark’s, actual classes take place such as choir and band. I’m considering joining the choir group actually but I haven’t sang in such a long time. I must be so out of practice. The last time was most likely since our last band practice. Music was like the whole fundamentals of our entire relationship. We liked all the same music and everything. You played guitar, I sang, Kelly played drums and Megs played bass. I miss our band. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since all of us played together in the same space.

My Auntie Kay has been a total angel to me since I started living with her. She gives me my space yet tries to let me know she’s there. Unlike my mother who just seemed to suffocate me every time I tried to talk. Every three weeks I have to go home for the weekend and visit though. Which I don’t really like but it kind of stops my mom from calling me every day.

As if she knew, my phone bleeped with a text from her.

“Hi honey. I hope you had a good first day at school. Luv you lots! Xoxo –Mom”

Ugh. Barf. I didn’t send a reply right away. Why bother, it won’t be good enough for her anyways. She didn't care about how depressed I had really become. I know Auntie Kay would correct my train of thought and tell me she's just worried about me. Still, the hugs and kisses felt like overkill. Looking at my journal, I sighed in thought. I knew you weren't coming back after that accident, and still I wrote letters to you, hoping and praying that I could just hear your voice again. Hear that booming laughter fill my ears through the phone just once more.

I sighed and continued to write in my new journal.

Everything changed at school after the accident. Everyone looked at me like I survived but I really didn't. I need you. I need to hear your voice just one more time. I'll never forgive or forget that day. I know that I won't. My heart aches everytime I hear the screech of someones tires. I miss you Charlie. I wish to death that I had been the one to die in that accident and not you. Maybe I will find some closure in this new school of mine but I really don't know. I hate riding the bus. I really do. Did you know that school bus accidents have killed fifty-four people alone in just 2020? Yeah I didn't either. I'd walk but the hike from Auntie Kay's was just too far to justify it.

I wish I could say I had a good day today but I just can't survive that night, just like you. My own death happened that day and I just troddle along, pretending that I'm okay but I'm really not.

"Hey." A voice and a tap on my shoulder interrupted my writing. Pausing, I looked up from my journal and noticed Trey the football player that introduced himself to me in the library. He was sitting with another football player just a few bus seats back.

I paused my music that was blaring louder than I could hear. Maybe there was a silver lining in this move of mine after all. Maybe I could start over and be somebody else for a change. If only. I closed my pink journal and shot him a smile, "Hey."

Chloe Rose Violet

P.S. Don't forget to tip your writer. :)

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About the Creator

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

Writing from the heart about love, life, music, mental health, and everything else in between. 💀🥰

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